I am so sorry to hear you lost your mom but my heart breaks for you being unable to talk to her and say some final words. One thing I know for sure she loved you and felt your love for her. My mom and I have this kind of relationship. My husband and I are living in Ecuador as volunteer missionaries. The phone or faceTime is our constant friend. She always tells me how proud she is that we are serving and teaching the Bible to people who want to know the Bible.
I am glad to see you found this website and have made comments. Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2,18, 19;10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth:“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” (quote from When Someone You Love Dies under the subtitle How Can I Live With My Grief? )
I hope you except my friend request and we can talk.
I am truly sorry for your sudden and devastating loss. My mother and I were so very close as well..I feel; a lot for you...I too find this missing part-the biggest part of me, an unarticulatable force....
Theresa, I know how you feel about being sick or hurt the first time without your mother to call. I fell down on the sidewalk on the way into the hospital for routine check ups and ended up in ER for X Rays. My mother was the first person I thought to call. It really hurts. For me I am coming up on 5 years and can say for me I still feel a huge void in my life. Feeling sad.
Theresa, I hope things get better for you. Don't blame yourself for not seeing that something was wrong. I'm sure you would've done everything in your power to help your mom had you known. The love between you and your mom will last forever and that love will carry you through. I cry everyday too. I hate the anxiety and the loneliness and that my life has been turned upside down but I have to get through it somehow.
"I am new here and don't really know how to navigate so forgive if I make a mistake. I am drowning in pain and have been ignored by friends. I have only two left and both have many things of their own. I sit at night and hurt until the…"
Kayla and Jazi joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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"Marita, not that I am glad to hear you suffer from anxiety and fear but thank you for at least sharing that you too are overwhelmed with living. At times I want to scream that the way I feel is not some cry for sympathy but more I am…"
You were the original poster who made it real for me that telling the truth about our pain was ok. That it was how this grief was going to be no mater how I might be told otherwise. And to know that your truth is that pretty…"
"Linda, yes, I too have the recurring thoughts my brain sends me that my husband is dead. It's not possible for me to accept it either. I know it as fact just as I know the sun shines, but when it appears in my brain I simply cannot…"
"As much as we all suffer, some may have an additional burden of having to go out into the real world and deal with people in business to survive. The impact of that makes it all that much more unbearable. While I'm not in that…"