I am so sorry to hear you lost your mom but my heart breaks for you being unable to talk to her and say some final words. One thing I know for sure she loved you and felt your love for her. My mom and I have this kind of relationship. My husband and I are living in Ecuador as volunteer missionaries. The phone or faceTime is our constant friend. She always tells me how proud she is that we are serving and teaching the Bible to people who want to know the Bible.
I am glad to see you found this website and have made comments. Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2,18, 19;10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth:“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” (quote from When Someone You Love Dies under the subtitle How Can I Live With My Grief? )
I hope you except my friend request and we can talk.
I am truly sorry for your sudden and devastating loss. My mother and I were so very close as well..I feel; a lot for you...I too find this missing part-the biggest part of me, an unarticulatable force....
Theresa, I know how you feel about being sick or hurt the first time without your mother to call. I fell down on the sidewalk on the way into the hospital for routine check ups and ended up in ER for X Rays. My mother was the first person I thought to call. It really hurts. For me I am coming up on 5 years and can say for me I still feel a huge void in my life. Feeling sad.
Theresa, I hope things get better for you. Don't blame yourself for not seeing that something was wrong. I'm sure you would've done everything in your power to help your mom had you known. The love between you and your mom will last forever and that love will carry you through. I cry everyday too. I hate the anxiety and the loneliness and that my life has been turned upside down but I have to get through it somehow.
"I just feel like I am in a fog. I have a little dog that is at least ten years old. She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her. I know how you feel about your dog. I worry about her. She is all I have. …"
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to.
As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
"Brett so true she was my security blanket
I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her
You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away.
Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone.
I feel like the hard reality…"
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came. But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry
I can’t put into…"
"Definitely a colder world now. I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom. It is so hard knowing she is gone. Knowing this is permanent. There is no one that can fill the void she left. My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
"My Mom also. I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust. I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone. I loved spending time with…"
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again. I lost part of me when she passed. Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety. Daily crying is part of my life. …"
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"