Hello Linda I don't know if I've done the right thing buying a puppy she isn't house trained yet. I think you've got a dog. Does it help? I thought it would help the loneliness but in a way your more tied.I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without my husband
Majorie, Anywhere beyond about six months to two years depending on who you ask or what you read and still experiencing grief from the loss of your spouse is supposedly experiencing "complicated grief". Like Linda and Bluebird and few of us who are still aging here on this site I too just passed the five year mark and yes, if thats what they want to call it, I too have complicated grief. But I look at it in a different way.
There are many things I could say but I'll be brief because its late here and I am tired. You don't really get over it, you just endure it better. Thats it. Endurance. Time will have sway with you and will change the ways you grieve but after five years I still have breakdowns regularly and I now know that they will never stop. I don't pay a psychotherapist but I have one friend who I call my therapist. MY husband actually asked him to watch over me if something happened to him as my husband was a diabetic and was getting sicker. It was almost like he knew. Our friend has kept that promise. He lives 3000 miles away but we talk pretty much every day sometimes a couple times and he allows me to cry. He knew my husband well and knew the love we had would never die and he understands I"ll never get over it. I just turned 66 and I am ready to die. I am not sure whether I will be able to do it to myself as the pain for the last couple months again has been like the first year but I can only take each day and lots of times just each hour at a time. I've learned to expect nothing from myself as far as remembering the kind of person I was before. That has all changed.
So much else left when my husband did too. So much of who I was because it was always in relationship to who WE were. I would never change what I had with him but it is a good thing I didnt know what the pain would be like now. He never would have been able to stand it and I am not sure how long I will but for now I still breathe. Just know there are many many others out here that feel the same way just like there are many others who get over the loss and somehow make a different kind of life. Me, I can't unhook. I'm with him through and into death and yet still trying to live. Its a bitch. Not sure how or when my own time will come but I am more than ready. Take care the best you can. Morgan
Linda Thankyou so much for replying re complicate grief. I feel just the same my husband and I were one person ( his words) and I know I will never get over losing him. I just wondered how a psychotherapist can help because it says online that it can and you say you feel better every year. Linda I just don't know how long we can go on with the pain.
Linda, I didn't lose a spouse, but I wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your husband. You two were (let me correct that) are a very lovely couple and I know you'll be glad to see him again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I see your posts periodically and my heart goes out to you.
"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
"I can't see the pics still but glad you guys can. I sent a message to ninja to check if I have a setting wrong. I have pics to be seen by friends set. I have 750 pics of Her (from about aged two till days before She left…"
Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time.
Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
"She was sent to save me. There was a fate of that. Too many coincidences to be otherwise. I was born to a terrible family relationship in one State and She was born to a good stable family relationship. We both moved to a…"
Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
Mary and Leane joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years. In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery. I wasn't miserable.…"
What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule:
"My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon. And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"