Yes Kristine the pain of losing someone is a difficult thing, but thanks to sites like this you don't have to go thru them alone. It helps I know sometimes to talk to total strangers than family. Knowing the other person has gone thru what you are going thru helps so much. My husband is wonderful, yet even though he was with me every step of the way, loved my parents as they were his own, still doesn't get the full loss feeling. So as someone who understands, I am here for you. Take care. Nancy

I am so sorry for your loss. She was a beautifil lady from your pictures. No she will not be able to hold your thrid baby...but she will be watching over him/her as a special guardian angel. I lost my mother and she was my best friend also. I lost my dad just a couple of months before. It hurts so bad. Your mom was so young..and a non smoker...that is terrible. I am not a big religious type person but I do believe there is a reason for everything.
I am 51 and I have two sons (Steven 27 and Alex 12) If you need a "mom" to talk to...I can try to help. Sometimes a total stranger can really help.
Take care of yourself and those little adorable babies. Nancy

I love the pictures of your mom! I am missing my mom, too. Life is so different without mom! The only comfort I have is knowing that I will see her again one day. Take care, Beth

Hi Kirstine.
I am not from England. I live in the U.S. My condolences for your loss. I understand when you say you're happy, yet in so much pain. I'd love to get to know you. Maybe we get help each other through the grief.

My mom is is a better place. That is the only way I got throught the pat ten years. She was the one who taught me so much not to fear death. I know she totally wanted to go home to the lord. But no it hasn't been easy at all these past 10 years.
Now she is with my dad and she is doing the polkae with him. That is the picture I want to have of mom not the cancer.

I will definitely look for the book, thank you. I just starting reading magazines again. I was having a hard time focusing the last several months. One day at a time...Small steps as my mom says. I joined a support group and I think I will continue going because it seems to be helpful for the time that I am there. What can I say? It's very difficult. I used to believe that things happen for a reason, but now I honestly don't believe that anymore. All of my beliefs are out the window at this time because nothing makes sense.

Thank you. My husband was 66, not a typical 66 year old. He was very active and very healthy prior to him getting sick a year ago. We had a wonderful life and wonderful times together. He was my best friend and soul mate. I miss him every second of every single day. I feel completely lost without him. It's terrible. I am taking things day by day because that's all I can do. Today is a very off day.

I am sorry to hear about the passing of your Mom. My husband passed away 7 weeks and 2 days ago and it has been very very difficult for me to accept. I am blessed to have a special mother/daughter relationship with my mom because without her there is no way I would be here right now. They say time helps heal. I try taking small steps every day. Today started off terribly for me. I felt physically ill and was crying for awhile before I was eventually able to calm down. As the day went on, I felt a bit better. It's a terrible thing that people have to experience, unfortunately. But, there is no choice. We either try to accept what has happened and try to move forward with our lives or we stay stuck. Most of the time I feel stuck but maybe it will get better, who knows. I don't have any answers because there are so many things in life that I can't comprehend.

Dear Kirstine,
That must have been one horrific month, at my Hospice Widows grief support group there were many who mentioned that their spouses died in January and one older man said he lost his loving wife on the same day as I lost my husband, January 22 2010 and every time he attends the meeting he bursts into tears. (I know how he feels) Another woman from another online grief support group said her husband died on January 22, 2010. Very strange. God bless.

oops i mispelled some words lol

Hi this is tina thankyou for replying back to me. Im also very sorry about your lose. I would give anything for my ma to be here but i knlw she s in a better place now. i look forward to being your freind..we can help each other through our lose. Sincereky< Tina

I'm so sorry for your loss and I can definately identify. I love the pics you have posted of the two of you. I know that the pain of not having your mom and best friend by your side cuts to the bone. I hope that you find healing in the mist of your grieving and know that you will one day see her again, not in pain, but in peace!

oh and i emailed you my email address... =)

my mom used to say "if he brought you to it, he'll bring you through it".......

and my mom was very healthy up until her diagnosis also.....she was 53....crazy.......so confusing..and noone our age can identify...

its just so shocking..... especially when you thought you'd grow old with themmm..i always pictured us two old ladies best friends and mother and daughter....and that up and down is the WORST...i used to be a very stable person... =(

It makes you wonder if they met up in Heaven and said to the Lord, please let my mom and my daughter meet b/c they need someone to talk to to comfort each other :) I can see my mom running around up in heaven meeting friends and talking to everyone about how great the Lord is and I can tell from what you have told me about your daughter, that my mom would love her. My mom was also high spirited and full of compassion. I too just feel the emptiness of not being able to hold my mom or lay my head on her chest. You are helping me too! I went to the cemetary today and now its just a muddy patch.flowers were gone. headstone will take 6wks. I put some new flowers out. Just sad! :(

You know, Kirstine, crying is a good thing...it washes away some of the hurt and leaves a fine layer of tranquility. It may not last for long but I'll take anything I can get right now. Angela did live her life in an adventurous, high spirited manner but she was blessed with common sense and compassion. I don't blame her...or anyone else for that matter. We, as parents, just don't expect to outlive our children. You are so blessed to have been able to take care of your mom when she needed you most. And you are right, the love I have for Angela has not changed and I talk to her on a daily basis. What hurts is the emptiness my arms feel knowing they will never hold this wonderful child again. Your mom's wisdom is very evident in the words you write...she is smiling down on you, so proud of how you are helping me, a mother who has lost her child!

Oh Laura, I am so sorry. I am sure she just didn't think that day that anything would happen. At our age, I think sometimes we think we are invincible! Lucky for me, I am a scaredy cat. You saw that pic of my mom and I at the lighthouse, she climbed to the top of it, I was too scared! :) Total chicken! My husband tried to get me to ride a 4 wheeler at his grandmother's farm and I was crying the minute he started the engine. It is good that she enjoyed life though and had fun, I think sometimes I am a little paranoid and miss out on fun things. I won't ride roller coasters or anything! I haven't been back to my doctor since my mom died, but my doc knew that she was dyeing. I am here at her house today and promised I wouldn't cry, didn't want to upset my step dad and sure enough laid on her side of the bed and boo-hooed. I know she isn't in pain anymore, but I even miss changing her diapers b/c at least she was still here then!! Paula, let me know what you think about the Shack! I think it would be good for you and Laura to read. It is a really awesome book. Boring for the first 40 pages, but then really takes off and makes us realize that God was with our loved ones all the time, he never left their side for a moment! I want to talk to my mom really bad too and its only been a week! I know she gave me the tools and wisdom to go on in life, but I just miss hugging her and being with her. I am sure your son is right there with you and is looking down on you from Heaven, just because they are gone doesn't mean than anything has changed other than we can't see them or talk to them, the love never changes and he was part of you and you were part of him. It is great talking to both of you although we are on the opposite side of things, I can tell you if the roles were reversed I bet they would be just like me and missing you all. Its just plain stinks! But we have to remember God's promise that we will see them again and won't ever have to part when that time comes!