Susan B, I am so sorry. To try and live without that person who was by your side for 52 years is a living nightmare. I had 35 married years but 55 of knowing him (since second grade). That much history buries the person left behind. At least it did me. I can honestly say that over the past seven years I have gotten better at functioning and doing the every day tasks of living. But inside I am still so broken. At first I could identify triggers that would make me breakdown......form grocery shopping to standing gin line at the post office....to pretty much everything. I cried all the time. I still cry, I can get through sometimes three days but something will knock me back down. I have had to resign myself to how this is for me. I don't know if anyone cries as much as me coping with their grief after a long time but it still hits me.
People here will tell their truth about how they manage their sorrow. The biggest thing I have learned from this site is to know that I am not crazy for the feelings I have gone through and the ones I still have. I have learned there is NO timeline for how long one might still feel deep loss. I have learned my loss will never end. And the day I am able to depart is the day I now look forward to. I have been ready for that day since my husband died. I don't need to "experience" any more of life. I had everything I wanted. I just miss him..........
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Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true. Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions. This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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Susan B, I am so sorry. To try and live without that person who was by your side for 52 years is a living nightmare. I had 35 married years but 55 of knowing him (since second grade). That much history buries the person left behind. At least it did me. I can honestly say that over the past seven years I have gotten better at functioning and doing the every day tasks of living. But inside I am still so broken. At first I could identify triggers that would make me breakdown......form grocery shopping to standing gin line at the post office....to pretty much everything. I cried all the time. I still cry, I can get through sometimes three days but something will knock me back down. I have had to resign myself to how this is for me. I don't know if anyone cries as much as me coping with their grief after a long time but it still hits me.
People here will tell their truth about how they manage their sorrow. The biggest thing I have learned from this site is to know that I am not crazy for the feelings I have gone through and the ones I still have. I have learned there is NO timeline for how long one might still feel deep loss. I have learned my loss will never end. And the day I am able to depart is the day I now look forward to. I have been ready for that day since my husband died. I don't need to "experience" any more of life. I had everything I wanted. I just miss him..........
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