I am so happy that you found this website and that you feel like you can talk to us. Talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope. When her child died, one mother explained why it helped to talk to another woman who had faced a similar loss: “To know that somebody else had gone through the same thing, had come out whole from it, and that she was still surviving and finding some sort of order in her life again was very strengthening to me.” What if you are not comfortable talking about your feelings? Following the death of Saul and Jonathan, David composed a highly emotional dirge in which he poured out his grief. This mournful composition eventually became part of the written record of the Bible book of Second Samuel. (2 Samuel 1:17-27; 2 Chronicles 35:25) Similarly, some find it easier to express themselves in writing. One widow reported that she would write down her feelings and then days later read over what she had written. She found this a helpful release. Whether by talking or writing, communicating your feelings can help you to release your grief. It can also help to clear up misunderstandings. A bereaved mother explains: “My husband and I heard of other couples that got divorced after losing a child, and we didn’t want that to happen to us. So any time we felt angry, wanting to blame each other, we would talk it out. I think we really grew closer together by doing that.” Thus, letting your feelings be known can help you to understand that even though you may be sharing the same loss, others may grieve differently—at their own pace and in their own way.
It is so difficult to find the "right" words. I want to comfort you but don't know what words might be comforting. The one thing I want to do is to send a (((((HUG))))) the second thing I have learned is to talk to someone that cares. Don't bottle it all up and just suffer.
Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2,18, 19;10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”
I will listen anytime you need me to...
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Hi Brett, I am here, still struggling with deep depression. I need your and others advice, how do you handle Mother’s Day? This will be the first one since Mom passed on Christmas Day. I am overcome with grief, and dread just thinking about…"
"Hi Morgan, I'm so very sorry for your loss and heartbreak. It makes me wonder if asking people to write to their lost one on my website is just too much for many. I really hope people's words can make readers feel less alone in their grief…"
"Madeleine, what would I do if I could have my husband back for just five minutes? My first reaction would be to run into his arms, hug him and then make mad passionate love like we did so many times and then I would ask him if I could take the pills…"
"My sister kept some of my mom's voicemail to her. There is no way that I could listen to it. She also took some video footage of her while she was on Hospice. Seeing those would be very painful.
Like you, looking through a photo album is so…"
"Thank you Brett. I do try to honor her but it is so painful. I attended church service yesterday. I think I did pretty well. No unexpected outbursts. But then I came home and found an old album of photos, saw a picture of me and my mom…"
"Virginia, personally I am convinced, looking back, that my brain put up a shield to protect my mind from the devastating scene of my husband of 20 years dropping to his death in the shower. I'm still 99% nuts and that's the truth.…"
Hi, I'm new to this site and would love to share my new project inspired by the loss of my mom 24 years ago - www.yourjustfiveminutes.com.Just Five Minutes was created to help those dealing with grief reconnect to their lost loved one, either by dreaming the impossible, or by simply reading other peoples' words who may be experiencing a similar sense of loss as you.It asks one question: 'What would you do if... came…See More
This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More