thank you so much for your comment. i appreciate it a lot. i'm doing the best i can. hope you are doing alright, as well.

Thank you very much for your comment

Thank-you Lisa for the well-wishes.  It's nice to know there are people like you who care about people they don't even know.  I really care about people but don't seem to reach out as much as I should.  My cat's name is Tedi and she doing ok.  I'm hoping she'll stay with me a bit longer.  It'll be tough to lose her so soon after my mom.  I just joined this grief site and I've read a little bit of the comments and I feel so bad for everyone.  I don't even know what to say....I know just how much joy my mom brought to me, so I have so much compassion for all of them.  I guess we just have to make the most of our time here on earth the best we can without them.  I know that's what my mom would want.

Thank you for your kind thoughts.  I would never trade a day of the time I had with my mom.  I never was able to be with her as an adult.. too many men in my life.  Mom was patient though.  When we finally were together, after I quit my 3 part time jobs to do it, she was the happiest I had ever seen her.  It was like she had waited all her life to have me to herself in the end.  Then she never wanted to be out of my sight. 

As a child I had the nick name, Little Mommy.  We were buddies then.  But when mom had fallen and had to have her hip replaced, it took three days to make the connection.  You see, after the surgery, I was still doing those 3 jobs, about 60 hours a week... I had one hour a night to visit her after I had to drive an hour each way to see her in the hospital.  When I arrived each night the staff complained that all she did was cry Momma, Momma.. all day long.  They said they told her she was too old to have a living mom so just to let it go.  But she seemed so relieved to see me.  On the third night I drove through a snow storm to get there and worried about having to drive back home to my kids again...but when I walked in the door of her room, she was alert and nearly sitting up for the first time.. She said, "There you are, Mommy." 

OMG I knew it right then....  I had worked a couple years in an Alzheimers Unit as an activities aid... so I knew.  I visited her and she was so happy to see me I almost couldn't leave..  When I left, though, I cried all the way back.. Through the snow storm which continued to rage.  I cried because I knew she had Alzheimers.  And that was the beginning. It was also the beginning of my deepest love for any human being. 

Thank you for the kind words.  Sorry for your loss as well.  My boyfriend was only 37.  We were together for 2 1/2 years and lived together.  He was my world and the best thing that has ever happened to me.  March 18 will be a year.  I try to just take things one day at a time.

Thank you for your kind words. Everyone says I'm strong, but I don't feel it. It's as if I'm only hanging by a thread.

I swear the flower are embracing @ 2:56 on the Portishead video.

Interesting the Pitbull is your dog of choice, Danny had two at the time of death and his girlfriend wanted them and his PJ bottoms to remember him. I gave it all to her. I have no pets now, I could not stand to have anything die on me now.

I notice you are quite pro-animals. I am no so much pro-animal, but I am against factory farming methods that stress the animal and I do think the final product marketed is retrograde. I have chosen a ova-lactarian lifestyle myself and I know the people producing the milk and eggs personally. Free range or go home. Thanks for not thinking I am crazy.

The Youtube channel is GodisLove4everamen. I really, really do appreciate your help. Thanks and God bless.

I have watched all your videos, I like your nephew's the most and you in the car trying to get channel changed. It was too dark.

Why 1300, why not. I just wanted an even 100 by his 6 months time of death. If it had never been posted and was 0 and he was still with me I would be the happiest.

On Youtube, watching it over and over does not increase the count. Youtube apparently pays people when you reach 1MM so they have algorithms to prevent multiple views

Thank you Lisa.  Im taking it one day at a time :)

i spent over night at a friends house..she has two teen boys who are the greatet.  She is a very warm, kind loving person.  I get plenty of hugs and being spoiled when I am there...it is such a delight and uplifting,.  Everyone should have at least one straight friend like this....lay on a bed watch movie..have pop corn and candy and giggle..bring you back to teen years...with no strings attached except for strong bond of friendship