Will this emptiness and depression lift from my life?

This has been such a lonely weekend for me. My mom has been gone now 7 months. I"m so sad and the deep depression does not get any better. I try to stay busy but, that doesn't help for 24 hours a day. I"m crying right now and I still feel angry at the cancer institute for the chemotherapy on my mom. I think that doctors don't worry about elderlyl and just give them the treatments without thinking of how fragile they are. I honestly don't know at this point,  how this world can become a good place for me. I know I need a grief counselor but I am so depressed I don't think I can even make the calls that are required.  

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Comment by KN on July 9, 2012 at 2:20pm

I've had a rough weekend myself and I know exactly what you mean when you feel dead inside!  I've been wanting to avoid people too because I don't think anyone will understand, but at the same time I am extremely lonely.  I'm working on going to see a counselor to work through some of these issues.  I haven't been getting any counseling since my husband died because of lack of coverage with insurance, but I am now officially covered starting this month so I can finally get the help I need.  I hope that maybe you can do the same.  Please hang in there and know that I care! :-)

Comment by Sandra Nichols on July 9, 2012 at 11:18am

thanks KN. It does help to know I am not alone. This was a very rough weekend for me. I feel just dead inside. A friend that i've been ignoreing accidently got a hold of me on the phone. AFter we talked a while I realized how far down in spirit, I've gotten. It didn't help that she had lost her husband about 15 years ago so, knew what I was going through.

Comment by KN on July 5, 2012 at 6:53pm

My husband passed 7 months just yesterday and I have depression right now that I don't know if I can even survive right now.  Just know that you are not alone in this fight.  Hang in there!

Comment by Mara on July 2, 2012 at 4:28pm

You can also check with your insurance company if you have insurance and they can give you names.

Comment by Mara on July 2, 2012 at 4:27pm

You can go through both. I actually went to my primary care physician for anti anxiety meds and I made an appointment with a psychologist for counseling. If you get someone's name from around where you live, you can even look them up online and possibly schedule. That way, you don't have to actually call. You can ask around to people, or google names and then see reviews. It will really depend on who you mesh with. Good luck!!!

 

Comment by Sandra Nichols on July 2, 2012 at 10:20am

thanks MAra. I also just ordered a couple of the books this site recommends. I will really try to get to a grief counselor. It is just so hard. Do I have to go htrough my primary care doctor.. ? Will this be a psychologist? I"m just not sure how to go about it to get someone good.

Comment by Mara on July 1, 2012 at 8:14pm

I am sorry to hear about your mom. My father has been gone now for 7 months as well and I am just now starting to feel empty, lonely and depressed. I still have to make an appointment with a grief counselor as well. I know this is beyond hard. I never imagined the heart break that this has caused. I knew I would be sad, but this is a whole different feeling. I believe this dark time has to lift as soon as we walk through it. (at least that is what I am telling myself nowadays). Call the counselor tomorrow. Even if you pick up the phone crying, just do it. We can't possibly always be stuck feeling this way. I do understand what you are saying....completely. I just know that life has to go on for us as well even if I am not ready to believe that yet. Hang in there.

 

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