It has been 4 years since my mom died.  I still think about it every day, and can't seem to look past it.  I know I need to go grocery shopping.  I know I need to entertain my 4 year old but before I do anything today I want to share what has helped me tremendously in making my mom's death easier to live with.

The first thing that helps is remembering her and being stubborn about NOT letting her go.  I don't have to let my mom go.  She already went.  The thing I do have to do is admit how I feel about that and do things that I know will make it easier to live with. It is easier to live with when I remember how I feel about her death and do things that I believe make this world an easier place to live.

I spend one hour a week on family history.  I remember my mom and other people I know who have died to let them know that I still believe that they are there and to let them know that I have not forgotten them.  Denzel Washington said:  "If someone dies and you never talk about them or remember them, they die twice."  It's important for me to remind myself that i believe in angels and I believe that though those people are dead they are not completely gone.  They are angels who are watching over us.

One of the laws of thermodynamics says that energy can be transferred and transformed but never created or destroyed.  What if creation was our energy simply being brought into what we are and transferred here.  That means that when we die we are simply taken somewhere else.  While our finite minds will never understand the complexities of eternity we can at least admit that we don't know everything and the laws of science really dictate that we exist when we die.  We don't in fact disappear.  The energy that made your heart beat and your eyes smile is simply transferred and transformed.  The energy that makes your eyes bright and your smile vibrant is according to science an energy that never dies.

Sleep is a poorly understood science.  No one understands why we sleep or why it is important.  We do know that there is no quicker and surer way to madness, sickness, and even death that to deprive someone of sleep.

When my mom died I learned about sleep.  I learned that when we sleep we go to be with the angels who watch over us.  I felt her in a very real way and visited her in my dreams many times.  Nightmares are the trip back here.  It is a nightmare for a baby to be born and transferred here, and a nightmare for us to leave our dream world back into reality but which is really real?  Is life when we are awake real or are our dreams reality?  Why are drugs that drag us into our sleep so irresistible?  Sleep alleviates us of our duties and cares.  Sleep also will alleviate you of your accomplishments.   We must face difficulty to accomplish much.

We have a hard work to do on earth.  We each have a task to complete.  Being awake and here on earth is hard, but it is worth it because we are doing the work we were sent to do.  Do your work.  Sleep 8 hours a night and be selfless enough to face your day.....each day.  Be brave.  Be happy.  Be strong and don't feel sorry for yourself.  Soon enough you will sleep to never wake again and all that will matter is what you accomplished when you were here.

Being alive is like gathering candy on an easter egg hunt.  One day we will sit down to face what we have accomplished and gathered.  We will reap what we have sown.  Good luck.  Accomplish much.

When my mom died I saw her in my dreams.  It was really her.  I knew it and I felt it.  I was so amazed.  I told her that we were forever separated, but I learned that I am wrong.  Though I am here on earth I am there with her every single night when I sleep.  I have nothing to complain about because I see her all the time.  I'm just not allowed to remember it all the time.  I was allowed to remember just after she died..but soon enough I will be with her never to be separated by time or this world again.

My husband drug me to a music concert on Aug 11th the 4 year anniversary of my mom's death.  I almost didn't go to see this outdated Diamond Rio FREE band concert but when I sat in front of them hearing them sing the song "I believe" I really felt my mom brought that song to me.  Though she hates country music,  now that she is dead she can speak directly to my heart in a way that I can hear her....sometimes through music....and I believe that.

Views: 66

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by Ginger on August 19, 2018 at 11:34am

Thanks Susan,for this very inspiring post, I lost my daughter on Feb. 18,2018 and reading this has given me so much more peace as I talk to her  everyday.

Comment by Avi on August 16, 2018 at 6:07am

Thanks for amazing post Susan. I lost my mother on 15 May 2018 and miss her a lot. I also believe that we will be reunited again once where there is no pain, agony and we will live for eternity. 

Groups

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Avi. Happy Easter to all. It's status quo for me."
2 hours ago
Jennifer left a comment for morgan
"Thanks Morgan for commenting on my profile page. Wow...What u described that u go through every day of every year is exactly how I feel. I lost my girlfriend/fiance of 5 years to suicide. I know without a doubt in my mind that she is my soul mate so…"
Saturday
morgan left a comment for Jennifer
"Jennifer,   If there was anything at all I could say, I would.  No one who hasn't lost the love of their life can understand the amount of pain that stays with us for a very long time.  I know at four years I was still banging…"
Saturday
maria left a comment for Michael
"sorry for your loss I lost my husband feb 2016 its been rough I was married 44yrs"
Friday
Profile IconSN, maria and Jennifer joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I feel it all depends on the relationship, no matter if man or woman."
Thursday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hows everybody doing? Theressa, Brett, Adams, Virginia?"
Thursday
M Adams commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Have heard the same thing about men and loneliness, based on the assumption that women usually have richer and more developed social networks, a wider range of relationships, etc.  Of course this isn’t true of all women, though it seems…"
Thursday
M Adams joined Katherine Ellis's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Thursday
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"In my opinion as a Widower by 4 and a half years, men find dealing with being alone and loneliness harder than woman, this is what widows I meet tell me. I strive on a daily basis to at least be less anxious, but I miss my right arm in my…"
Thursday
Karrie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This past week we lost a young man of 24 with three children, If there is a God why would he take this young man instead of me who's life is over. I really question my faith."
Tuesday
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Our suffering is unbelievable and unbearable Dream Moon.  We just jave to believe that there is an afterlife where we will be reunited with those we love.  That's all I live for now.  To die to be with my Loving wife.  I…"
Tuesday
SGO is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Apr 15
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"wearss my mannerss gon joe sorry on yore loss 2"
Apr 14
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"i no so sad joe loss dear frinedd few days go way she sufferdd coz of illness wz cruell coz she wz a veryy sweet kind lady "
Apr 14
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Why I don't know, but everyone dies someday.  There is a lot of evil in our world who do terrible things.  I'm sorry for your loss.  I too suffer the loss of my wife and afraid my daughter will die soon from cancer. …"
Apr 13
Joe Kelly joined dream moon JO B's group
Apr 13
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"stilllasky why  moree loss siness i postedd on hear"
Apr 13
dream moon JO B commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"it can go on/off for yrs it can  do not t not let no 1 tell u way u shud feal or mkee u feal baf bad for grieff or los loss  lst 7 yrs iv go thruu a multii loss of pepplee  evn a cat i had for 16/17 yrss i loss 2  peplee say or…"
Apr 12

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service