It has been 4 years since my mom died.  I still think about it every day, and can't seem to look past it.  I know I need to go grocery shopping.  I know I need to entertain my 4 year old but before I do anything today I want to share what has helped me tremendously in making my mom's death easier to live with.

The first thing that helps is remembering her and being stubborn about NOT letting her go.  I don't have to let my mom go.  She already went.  The thing I do have to do is admit how I feel about that and do things that I know will make it easier to live with. It is easier to live with when I remember how I feel about her death and do things that I believe make this world an easier place to live.

I spend one hour a week on family history.  I remember my mom and other people I know who have died to let them know that I still believe that they are there and to let them know that I have not forgotten them.  Denzel Washington said:  "If someone dies and you never talk about them or remember them, they die twice."  It's important for me to remind myself that i believe in angels and I believe that though those people are dead they are not completely gone.  They are angels who are watching over us.

One of the laws of thermodynamics says that energy can be transferred and transformed but never created or destroyed.  What if creation was our energy simply being brought into what we are and transferred here.  That means that when we die we are simply taken somewhere else.  While our finite minds will never understand the complexities of eternity we can at least admit that we don't know everything and the laws of science really dictate that we exist when we die.  We don't in fact disappear.  The energy that made your heart beat and your eyes smile is simply transferred and transformed.  The energy that makes your eyes bright and your smile vibrant is according to science an energy that never dies.

Sleep is a poorly understood science.  No one understands why we sleep or why it is important.  We do know that there is no quicker and surer way to madness, sickness, and even death that to deprive someone of sleep.

When my mom died I learned about sleep.  I learned that when we sleep we go to be with the angels who watch over us.  I felt her in a very real way and visited her in my dreams many times.  Nightmares are the trip back here.  It is a nightmare for a baby to be born and transferred here, and a nightmare for us to leave our dream world back into reality but which is really real?  Is life when we are awake real or are our dreams reality?  Why are drugs that drag us into our sleep so irresistible?  Sleep alleviates us of our duties and cares.  Sleep also will alleviate you of your accomplishments.   We must face difficulty to accomplish much.

We have a hard work to do on earth.  We each have a task to complete.  Being awake and here on earth is hard, but it is worth it because we are doing the work we were sent to do.  Do your work.  Sleep 8 hours a night and be selfless enough to face your day.....each day.  Be brave.  Be happy.  Be strong and don't feel sorry for yourself.  Soon enough you will sleep to never wake again and all that will matter is what you accomplished when you were here.

Being alive is like gathering candy on an easter egg hunt.  One day we will sit down to face what we have accomplished and gathered.  We will reap what we have sown.  Good luck.  Accomplish much.

When my mom died I saw her in my dreams.  It was really her.  I knew it and I felt it.  I was so amazed.  I told her that we were forever separated, but I learned that I am wrong.  Though I am here on earth I am there with her every single night when I sleep.  I have nothing to complain about because I see her all the time.  I'm just not allowed to remember it all the time.  I was allowed to remember just after she died..but soon enough I will be with her never to be separated by time or this world again.

My husband drug me to a music concert on Aug 11th the 4 year anniversary of my mom's death.  I almost didn't go to see this outdated Diamond Rio FREE band concert but when I sat in front of them hearing them sing the song "I believe" I really felt my mom brought that song to me.  Though she hates country music,  now that she is dead she can speak directly to my heart in a way that I can hear her....sometimes through music....and I believe that.

Views: 35


You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by Ginger on August 19, 2018 at 11:34am

Thanks Susan,for this very inspiring post, I lost my daughter on Feb. 18,2018 and reading this has given me so much more peace as I talk to her  everyday.

Comment by Avi on August 16, 2018 at 6:07am

Thanks for amazing post Susan. I lost my mother on 15 May 2018 and miss her a lot. I also believe that we will be reunited again once where there is no pain, agony and we will live for eternity. 


Latest Activity

Profile IconCynthia Garcia Buckles and Lori joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
1 hour ago
Emily joined Megan's group

Grieving Teens

This group is for anyone who lost their parents at a young age. I lost my dad to cancer a week before the start of my senior year. It's been difficult. Quite frankly it sucks. Lets join together and get through this crappy time.
Emily joined Jarvis's group

I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
Profile IconElizabeth Monroe, Marion Mcglashon, Bandar killa and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Robin H left a comment for Robin H
"Hey There People, most of the comments look kinda old here... Are they?"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, losing your mom is hard enough. When you also lived with her that takes it to a whole different level because you didn't experience the natural separation that other adults do. That's sure what happened to me. I lived with my mom and…"
Profile IconCorinne C. Rico, Rita A M, Marisa L Galeoti and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Louise Grady updated their profile
Lia Lynch commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you everyone. My mom had refused to see doctors for seven years; she feel ill, finally went, was diagnosed with Stage IV metastasized cancer in her throat, lung, and liver, went directly to hospice, and died less than 4 weeks from the initial…"
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Lia,  So sorry for your loss.  Similar to others, I can understand your pain. I wish comfort to you but I know it is not easy. Please take your time.  All people, I was travelling so could not post for long. This is to tell that I…"
Geri commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Everyone, This Friday 21st September will be our 27th wedding anniversary. It is my first without my husband and I've noticed my anxiety peaking and I'm back to waking every hour. Has anyone got any advice of how to cope with all the…"
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you Layla Richards. I was very religious before my husband died, Then after his death I started searching why we have to go thru such pains and was looking into everything. Then after reading the Bible, the Torah, the Koran and more religious…"
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Pamela, So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing."
Suzy Tatz commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I am new to this. I lost my dad June 7 2018 to lung cancer and my fiancé on Aug. 6. 2018 to colon cancer. I was caretaker to both and now I can’t stand being in my own skin. I have the panic feelings when I am alone. So I have been self…"
Suzy Tatz joined Katherine Ellis's group

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Layla Richards replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"That is some great advice Ofir Rifo. Also, bluebird, something that helped me a lot was reading through the thousands of stories contributed by individuals who had a near-death experience or received an after death communication from a passed loved…"
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"ANA BECOAH BY ovadia chamama. Miracle prayer even for those who do not believe in anything. It will act as a password and will open the universe who will answer your petition. Please bluebird just try the same way a tried and it worked. Remember you…"
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia I am so sorry for your loss. Bluebell"
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird please go to you tube in listen to a song called Ana Becoh by Ovadiada Chamama. This song will act as a password to the universe. You do not need to believe in any religion but It worked for me and I am an agnostic. I lost my husband 21…"
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hello Bluebird. I always remember you and wonder how you are doing since the last time I wrote to you for the first time when I found this blog. It has been a while and I was hoping by this time you were doing better. Please understand that you will…"

© 2018   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service