Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone.
When it hurts the most
My son died November 28, 2009. He was 37, and a diabetic. He has a daughter 10. Both were so important to me. His wife won't let me see my grandaughter or talk to her... she won't even answer the phone. So this means my grandaughter and I are suffering and grieving two losses.
This past week I had a very rough day, I wanted to talk to my son so badly....so badly it was overpowering. All I could do was cry, sit with my mouth open with tears running down my face, weeping from the soul. Last night Alabama played for the national championship. They won. I found it a very emotional night as that was my son's favorite team. Others were talking about it, we wept with joy and sadness at the same time.
It seems when it hurts the most for me is when something is going on that makes me think of him in such a way as I have described above, plus angry words from others. There are days I am ok, get by, without crying even though he and my grandaughter are on my mind. Then all at once it hits me and it's like the world has fallen in on me and I can hardly breathe.
I made that very statement to my sister the other night, about the world falling on me. The next morning this song was rolling in my mind and off my lips.
"If he carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders, I know my sister he will carry you."
So that made me feel God heard what I had told my sister and he was letting me know. I was reading the bible yesterday and in Hebrews it talks about a resting place in God. It said there is one and we must find it. I'm trying to find it. Last night, I was so nervous and anxious, couldn't sleep. I had to pray that the Lord will help me endure and and wait on Him now to do what He does and that is to work miracles in my life.
My husband is not very understanding of my grief and my loss and is demanding that I get back to the norm with my life. He wanted me to forget about my son being dead and the loss of my grandaughter. he wanted me to focus on him and his house and his grandkids, make them happy, make everything normal again for them. I couldn't do it. I couldn't grieve or breathe. Every angry word made my grief 10 times worse.
I need my son, I loved my son and my grandaughter. The loss of them in my life has left me empty, lost.
This past week I had a very rough day, I wanted to talk to my son so badly....so badly it was overpowering. All I could do was cry, sit with my mouth open with tears running down my face, weeping from the soul. Last night Alabama played for the national championship. They won. I found it a very emotional night as that was my son's favorite team. Others were talking about it, we wept with joy and sadness at the same time.
It seems when it hurts the most for me is when something is going on that makes me think of him in such a way as I have described above, plus angry words from others. There are days I am ok, get by, without crying even though he and my grandaughter are on my mind. Then all at once it hits me and it's like the world has fallen in on me and I can hardly breathe.
I made that very statement to my sister the other night, about the world falling on me. The next morning this song was rolling in my mind and off my lips.
"If he carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders, I know my sister he will carry you."
So that made me feel God heard what I had told my sister and he was letting me know. I was reading the bible yesterday and in Hebrews it talks about a resting place in God. It said there is one and we must find it. I'm trying to find it. Last night, I was so nervous and anxious, couldn't sleep. I had to pray that the Lord will help me endure and and wait on Him now to do what He does and that is to work miracles in my life.
My husband is not very understanding of my grief and my loss and is demanding that I get back to the norm with my life. He wanted me to forget about my son being dead and the loss of my grandaughter. he wanted me to focus on him and his house and his grandkids, make them happy, make everything normal again for them. I couldn't do it. I couldn't grieve or breathe. Every angry word made my grief 10 times worse.
I need my son, I loved my son and my grandaughter. The loss of them in my life has left me empty, lost.
Comment
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Comment by Lisa Townsend on January 9, 2010 at 7:45am - What ever you do dont stop trying to contact your granddaughter. Stop by their house when you know she is there. send her flowers when you know she is home,make sure they are delivered on time, make sure a big card is facing them when they arrive with her name on it. It seems you have built a relationship with her and she wont forget the bond you two have. That is what im trying to do with my grandson incase something like this happens, he will know in his heart how we were when we were together. Dont stop trying, we are wiser, use your wisdom you have earned and out smart her. Its time to get dirty in a real nice way. Oh i could go on and on. I get on a roll. Spend some time thinking, like your daughterinlaws age,what her intrest are, what make her not like you, and reverse yourself and play a game, out smart her. She is the fool not you. I know i might sound crazy, maybe i am. I could not even imagine what i would do if i did not see my grandson, he helps me through everything and he is only three. all she can do is take you to court, but then you also have rights. Get creative, I spend alot of time repenting, the things and thoughts that go through my mind are not good, sometimes i surprise my self and feel like she is making me more like her. That is scary. but i do what i have to do. I smile and kiss ass
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Comment by Ganny on January 8, 2010 at 9:49pm - Yes i agree Lisa... I already said once in anger Why would God let her take up space on this earth and take my son who was a good person and a loving Father. I've had to take that back but the hurt can turn to anger really fast. At the funeral home in front of everyone a guy my son worked with had his hands all over her...she didn't have anything to do with me, couldn't and wouldn't look me in the face. It's a disgrace that we have to go through this. I've questioned God already so much about the whole thing. I was angry one day and yelled at him, but I guess he was laughing at me. Like who am I to yell at God. Last night I was ready to climb the walls. I was so nervous and anxious. I can't see my grandchild and it's killing me and in the mean time his wife is telling her things that will turn her against me, I know she is. Although, my grandaughter loves me as much as I love her. But you know how the parent can influence a child, decieve them, scare them. My hands are tied right now and I'm looking for a miracle from God. I need more than one.
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Comment by Lisa Townsend on January 8, 2010 at 12:32pm
- I feel for you. Oh God how i feel for you. My sons wife has made me feel so terrible. She let me know that my name was not on anything and her name was the only name on everything and i could not do anything. I told her my name was on his birth cert. I do get to see my grandson, but i have to really walk on very thin ice, (God forbid dont piss them off,keep your mouth shut, bite your tounge.) She will make you eat s... My sons wife went straight into a relationship in 2 weeks after his death. If i mention my sons name, it is as if, Michael who? My mother keept me from evil people i guess, because i sure cant deal with her, Sometimes i look at her and see nothing but pure evil. I can even see red in her eyes and it not from crying. After 3 hours of his death it seemed the only thing on her mind was he life insurance. Its bad enough for my son to be gone from me, and then have to put up with someone so evil. I was taken off her myspace also.
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Comment by Ganny on January 8, 2010 at 11:34am
- And not to mention that my son's wife has deleted me from his facebook and myspace page. Pure evil spewing from her fingertips. I'm trying hard not to let hate get into my heart. I'm praying for her.
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I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.
Many of us have lost more than one person or event.
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To One In Sorrow
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
The Light Beyond
The Gift That Freed Me To Give
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When a friend or family member experiences the death of a loved one, we quickly offer our condolences and help. Listed here are eight practical suggestions for helping a friend or family member that has just suffered a loss. 1. Offer to answer the telephone or answer emails at the family's home. Telephone calls and email can take up a considerable amount of time. Take messages and give information to friends and family. 2. Volunteer...Badge
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