There will never be a day where I don’t think about you, there could be weeks where it doesn’t cripple me that you’ve gone then all of a sudden it’s like a bus has hit me And it’s like that morning all over again. There’s no pain like this. It’s like someone’s pulled the curtains on your life it’s over now you’ve got to make a new one with no reason as to why or how to do it. The people that you thought would come and show you what to do or be there are no where to be seen instead it’s the people that everyone has an opinion on but what does that say about the people that are supposed to be there ? 

I often think about how it would have all been like if you were here, what we would be like , what arguments , what jokes , what memories we could have had. 6 years is a long time to live without your mum but I’m so lucky to have Donna as my mum too we know it’s not the same but we make it work and she’s the best I could have ever asked for, she’s an amazing mother to me.

I do get mad that you left me with out a reason or even a goodbye but you had to go and I’m grateful your safe and at peace now but I still needed you and always will do in some way.I miss your weird laugh , the way you pronounced certain ways or how easy it was to wind you up and I miss your face and the small wrinkles on your hands, I miss every part of you.

I never got to thank you for the life you gave me even though it wasn’t perfect but you showed me the right things in life and that happiness doesn’t involve money or things , they come and go it’s the people that make it, it’s the effort put into the relationships - the laughs, the tears , fights , jokes that go into it. It’s not about social status or the amount in your bank it’s the principle of life. You showed me that and still do now your gone, somehow you always made it work no matter the situation and I learnt that from you and it’s a good job cause I would be 100% screwed now but I just wanted to take the time out to tell you I love you , miss you and thank you but I wish you where still here to ring me 5000000 times a day. Thank you for making sure I was safe with dad and Donna before you left , they are amazing parents and I couldn’t be any luckier to have them  ❤️

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