As much as I´d like to take life quite serious, it´s not necessarily in my control and each jerk reaction out there yeah, I want to kick ass too. There is kiss, kick and put up with and as much as I´d love not to engage, life engages a few of those in that daily course of life perhaps to make sure we also belong to HUMAN RACE in the full range of what means to be part of it. I wonder what time does. Some people seems to be highly unaffected by time, positive or negative, more like 5 year olds or something like that. Usually I hold my tongue pretty good and when patient, I just walk away from the human crapness. But if I was to live by avoidance I´d never leave home, for sure. It does take a fair amount of patience to come across the rush rush and piss off in traffic and can be quite an experience with peers and friends. Although I feel LIGHTER mood than before, I still dump here and then, telling this guy in traffic to go to hell or fuck off, because they dumped first, and there is a justified jerk knee reaction that is better than the alternatives...hehe. Guys wil be guys, Girls will be girls. Some doctors are a real pain in the ass too. There is family going crazy too. And there is ME. Trying to alleviate my pain and get back in the living with a big to do list for what I care. I have come to a point of agreement with myself. Where I don´t care what, I won´t guilt myself. I will try to DUMP less often, but the garbage being dumped out on the streets here is umbeliavable. My city is currently amongst the most violent in the world, we aren´t used to this at all. We are enduring an economic crisis. So, people are on the eddge out there before I leave the quiet and peace of my home. And meeting friends, they are stressed out about their jobs and blah. I just got more collect and centered and I can do a couple things a day if less in pain and stress, it depends. I do what I need to do and come back ok. There are times I want to hide from the world when there is too much crap my way, and there are times I have to give some crap back to make it through and not dump on the wrong peers and places. And there is a lot that I get to be quiet because desn´t add up, and in time maybe it will, maybe it won´t. I am hoping that life gets better to this community I am in for th time being, that would save some ears and just make it nicer. All in all, I cannot complain much, I just refuse to stop living on one side of the equation, and try the exposure just enough that I can still win the day, whatever that means, maybe meet the obligations and rest and relax and just take all as it comes. With dog and bird here, I have a zoo right at home with my dog jealous at my dad´s bird, we are still living. I guess this is a good point, mind you I don´t mind improving my health enough to go back to work. But can´t make plans a whole lot, IT´S A DAY AT A TIME. And trust me, it can be hard enough in a pain day to find peace among the LIVING, never mind everything else. Sight

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