As much as I´d like to take life quite serious, it´s not necessarily in my control and each jerk reaction out there yeah, I want to kick ass too. There is kiss, kick and put up with and as much as I´d love not to engage, life engages a few of those in that daily course of life perhaps to make sure we also belong to HUMAN RACE in the full range of what means to be part of it. I wonder what time does. Some people seems to be highly unaffected by time, positive or negative, more like 5 year olds or something like that. Usually I hold my tongue pretty good and when patient, I just walk away from the human crapness. But if I was to live by avoidance I´d never leave home, for sure. It does take a fair amount of patience to come across the rush rush and piss off in traffic and can be quite an experience with peers and friends. Although I feel LIGHTER mood than before, I still dump here and then, telling this guy in traffic to go to hell or fuck off, because they dumped first, and there is a justified jerk knee reaction that is better than the alternatives...hehe. Guys wil be guys, Girls will be girls. Some doctors are a real pain in the ass too. There is family going crazy too. And there is ME. Trying to alleviate my pain and get back in the living with a big to do list for what I care. I have come to a point of agreement with myself. Where I don´t care what, I won´t guilt myself. I will try to DUMP less often, but the garbage being dumped out on the streets here is umbeliavable. My city is currently amongst the most violent in the world, we aren´t used to this at all. We are enduring an economic crisis. So, people are on the eddge out there before I leave the quiet and peace of my home. And meeting friends, they are stressed out about their jobs and blah. I just got more collect and centered and I can do a couple things a day if less in pain and stress, it depends. I do what I need to do and come back ok. There are times I want to hide from the world when there is too much crap my way, and there are times I have to give some crap back to make it through and not dump on the wrong peers and places. And there is a lot that I get to be quiet because desn´t add up, and in time maybe it will, maybe it won´t. I am hoping that life gets better to this community I am in for th time being, that would save some ears and just make it nicer. All in all, I cannot complain much, I just refuse to stop living on one side of the equation, and try the exposure just enough that I can still win the day, whatever that means, maybe meet the obligations and rest and relax and just take all as it comes. With dog and bird here, I have a zoo right at home with my dog jealous at my dad´s bird, we are still living. I guess this is a good point, mind you I don´t mind improving my health enough to go back to work. But can´t make plans a whole lot, IT´S A DAY AT A TIME. And trust me, it can be hard enough in a pain day to find peace among the LIVING, never mind everything else. Sight

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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
18 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
20 hours ago
Mike H. posted a blog post

What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
21 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
Friday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
Thursday

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