My name is David.

I'm new to this community. I joined because I am grieving over the recent loss of my partner of 35 years. I need acceptance and support.

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Comment by David Heggi on December 3, 2017 at 11:19am

Dear bluebird,
No, no one who has ever lost a cherished loved one can understand our loss. I used to mean well and try to comfort others, but I still had my David and could not possibly know.
And yes, I do believe in an afterlife. Dave was a very spiritual person; he always had one foot in Heaven. I can't imagine that a soul dies with the body - where does that person, that love go if we don't believe that we will be reunited?
Bless you
David h

Comment by David Heggi on December 3, 2017 at 11:04am

Comment by bluebird on December 2, 2017 at 11:15pm

I've found this site to be helpful, too, in that at least I know that some of the people here understand somewhat what this hell is like for me, because they are in similar situations. I don't think that people who still have their spouse/partner with them can possibly understand how this is for us. Even people who love us and who mean well can't understand, in my opinion. 

Do you have a belief in any kind of afterlife? I am agnostic on that point, which is very difficult. It seems that things are a bit easier for people who do believe in an afterlife in which they will be reunited with their loved ones.

Comment by David Heggi on December 2, 2017 at 10:08pm

Thank you bluebird,

It has become so necessary to connect with all the kind people here.  "Hell" - can any other word describe this place with "No Exit?" I'm so sorry about your husband - I too wished I had died with my partner - it does not seem right, no, it does not seem possible to go on living w/o him  - you know.

Bless you,

David H 

Comment by bluebird on December 2, 2017 at 7:01pm


There are many people here, me included, who understand the sort of loss and pain you are feeling. Not exactly, of course, as this hell is different for each person, but we get it. My husband died five years ago, and I wish I had died with him. I hope you are able to find some comfort, whether here on this site or elsewhere. 

Comment by David Heggi on November 26, 2017 at 5:05pm

Thank you, Alice

It was so nice of you to send me your kind thoughts.  Even though it's been less than 3 months since my David's passing, sometimes I feel as though I have said it all and heard it all. yet the grief and pain live on.  I feel helpless too; I want to help others, but somedays I just cannot find the words - it is a deep groan that can't be expressed with words.

Bless you, Alice


Comment by Alice Thompson on November 26, 2017 at 4:23pm
Hello David, I’m so sorry that you are suffering. It is a completely devastating experience to lose the one you love most. It’s one thing I know about. There are many grieving people on this site who read the posts just to feel accompanied, even if they don’t post that much. After some time, we grievers sometimes don’t know what else to say, because we’ve said it all, but the pain goes on. So there are lots of people here who know how you feel. I wish you all the best at this impossibly difficult time.

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