SOCIETY made a REBEL out of me...THANK YOU!

THere is no way to come out from a loss not feeling STRONGER WITHIN. THere is no EASY way out, there is a swim against all human crap and a LOT of digging DEEP WITHIN. The hurt opens wounds that EXPOSE the SOUL with a MEANING that most won´t ever get. And we come to this point whereas we don´t have to BELONG to what is not improvement. We can let go the weights HOLDING BACK. Tired and done with the crawling and spreading the wings. Its all an inside job anyhow. We just go where our MIND conceives possible. But there are wings being born after the crash. THere is a part of us that is not CONTENT to just WALK among HUMAN RACE. It must go so much furhter and to do that, we must pass flying high, because the walk just makes for dragging feet exercise. It feels like we have so many curves and people that aren´t worth the time explaining, that the new path back and building inside the MIND first is the ONLY VIABLE OPTION. It´s a huge ENERGY RELEASE. THe energy  of life wanting to be no longer in the pitty pot. Tired and sick  of it. It´s enough healed to make the path construct, but not well enough to drag anyone along. Mentally I wish all well. A time to cut the crap and let go. No need to point out the craps or whatever just helped holding down. THere is no need to call it back in any shape or form. It´s just what it is. Served us well when we were down and trying to find some form of reshaping the mind to put one step in front of the other. But we know quite well we aren´t meant to live off anyones left overs energy wise. Or vice versa. We are not suckers, there is a point in time we are HAPPY just too EXIST. And there atre TRAPPERS, that LOVE us down but are quick to beat down when we want out. THere is a dance there keeping in a LOOP we don´t belong, never did, never will. Our past and future don´t belong to anyones saying and wants, or beliefs. We have our own. All of a sudden there is a HUGe ENERGY drive from that woulnd that broke us just enough to let that light from our SOULS to the universe and back, and we know it´s time to go and this walk must be done alone. Perhaps with some that want for us too. But we can´t afford that in the ups and downs they will add EXPECTAIONS either way. It´s not living for SHOW, it´s living a new PURPOSE, renewed self trying to go on without annoyance and the fears of them in us. There is no need for any FEAR in any shape or form. THOSE who have DIED INSIDE or not afraid of DEATH in shape or form. And it´s a waste of time to let anyone understand. In time will be clear that their fear of heights in most cases just supress our need to get going. And that´s about it. It´s not that we don´t like them or else, we just don´t care much of what anyone wants from us, time to do whateve we want and keep that energy of life FLOWING with this wonderful universe and we will know in time who is still along side and WORTH to walk by.

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Billy Jo Colt commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Hi Pamela, I can understand your situation as you aretorn between two worlds. Your daughter in her own way is trying to help you with your grieving process. She thinks that her way is the only way through your grief. It is also a confrontation you…"
1 hour ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live.  Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than…"
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, do you think I feel any joy right now? I don't. But I think about how much my mom loved me and how much it would hurt her if i harmed myself. She could not have led a happy life if she knew that was in my future. She would have held…"
5 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird,   I always feel a spiritual kinship with what you write.  You were the first person here who when I started reading who was honest and told it like it was.  That hasn't changed and I truly believe that if anyone outside…"
7 hours ago
morgan commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Pamela, I may not be the best person to respond because U can get kind of feisty `but i am going to anyhow.  I will be at six years in January.  I have pictures of my husband all over my house.  I am still slowly going through boxes I…"
9 hours ago
Virginia G posted a discussion

What’s the point

Whats the point of living if there’s no happiness?  If you don’t care about anything except being with the person you lost...if everything is meaningless...if you can’t stand the pain or the numbness...if you don’t belong anywhere..if everything feels wrong...if you have no idea what to do about it...if you can’t get through the daySee More
10 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There’s no joy without her and I wouldn’t want any. its the only answer"
10 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…See More
14 hours ago
Denise Lavoie left a comment for Pamela philipp
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yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe & Bluebird, Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up."
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate.  I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently.  I wasn’t trying to think of songs either.  First it was I…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Saturday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"I agree, that is a big step. You should be proud of yourself for being able to take that step. ((((Hugs))))"
Saturday
Fran left a comment for Denise Lavoie
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Friday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi my name is scotishbrat this will be my 3rd holiday season with out my love.It is so hard to do anything.l have crying spells that are so intense it feels like l am going to die.Once l stary it could go on for hours and then l feel completely…"
Friday
Kristen Harlow replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"Such a good question. No, probably not. I've finally come to the place where I have accepted that I have to accept it's over. That feels like a big step."
Friday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now.  If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?"
Friday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, As usual, I identify so much with your post.  As you said, by burying our soulmates we buried ourselves. Why can't people understand that? If I had a child with my husband, I would feel some pull to live for that child. I felt that…"
Friday

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