I have the big hurt right now. I keep expecting him to log onto Facebook and send me a message. Or a text. Or something that would symbolize that he is here. And then I remember that he isn’t. That the last text or IM I will ever receive is from August 12. That there was no tomorrow for him. Just me. And everyone that liked or loved him. 

And it bothers me so much knowing he isn’t going to respond. He isn’t going to reach out. He can’t. That I just can’t wrap my brain around it. I want to search and find all the messages we had to each other. Every single one of them. I want to hold them precious to my heart, but what if those messages are what is holding me back? 

It is going to take one deep breath. One single day. One day of not obsessing over his Facebook. One day of not searching through emails. One day of not trying to find a video. One day of not doing any of these things. Remembering is okay. But not actively searching. Because I think it is harming me. I don’t know what else to do. 

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I actually looked up the EquoVox. I couldn't find an English link for it. I'll keep looking. I'm just really curious how it works. And I want you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy."
43 minutes ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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10 hours ago
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lisa
"Dear Lisa, I send you my heartfelt condolences as well as a welcome to our website. It is a safe place to come and talk or vent about your loss. Talking is very helpful in sorting out how to move forward. I would like to share a paragraph from what…"
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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17 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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18 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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20 hours ago
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yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, It is so true, my Julian and I celebrated everyday of our life together like you an Joseph. We were Blessed."
yesterday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, thank you for the post. The words ring very true. Today is Valentine’s Day, but fortunately for me, Joseph and I didn’t always celebrate on this day. We didn’t feel that we had to show our love and devotion on a specific day…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg left a comment for Lisa
"Welcome to Online Grief Support it is a great community."
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks everyone. I was upset that we couldn't share our posts, now I am fine. Thanks"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Gotta go will post soon. "
Thursday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I think thats what she meant anyway."
Thursday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"she posted an answer in Blog.  We're ok as long as we don't check that box and sign into twitter.  Only those who do have their posts appear there."
Thursday
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"did  a quick search for  "No Idea Joe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and Twitter. I didn't find anything maybe that it has the ability to share via twitter. and may not be shared by default. maybe we should try and contact the…"
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I just sent a message to the admin/owner of the site......I'lll let you know the response."
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