I haven't posted here in awhile. The crushing grief that overwhelmed me for so long after my mom died has lifted into more of a grief fog. But some issues within my family have arisen over the past few days, and I'm having a really hard time. And my question is: Why the hell is everyone in such a hurry to "move on?" What is so terrible about being sad, about missing someone? Why is it "normal" to go on with your life like nothing happened, to forget about the past and keep moving forward? The most important person in my life is gone. The only home I've ever known is gone. What little family I have is pushing me away because they all want to "move on." My mom is dead. I won't let losing her destroy my life, but I won't act like she wasn't a part of it, either. She's a part of me, of everything that I do, every decision that I make. I talk to her daily. I'm reminded of her daily. And I wouldn't want it any other way. Why is that so damn terrible?

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Comment by M Adams on March 3, 2019 at 5:02pm

It’s not terrible at all — it’s natural and right.  As it happens I was reading something today that mentioned in passing the “classical period of mourning” as being seven years.  Everyone grieves differently, of course, but that timeline seems to reflect my experience so far.  Was just looking around online and saw a discussion of Eastern Orthodox tradition, which I’ll paste below, as it provides a contemporary example of bereavement being recognized for, as the article puts it, “at least seven years.”

Eastern Orthodox

The mourning period for Eastern Orthodox Christians lasts for forty days. Within those forty days, the third day, the ninth day, and the fortieth day all have special significance. After forty days, memorials are celebrated at three months, six months, nine months, one year, and on the anniversary of the death for at least seven years.

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