Lost my Son -only child in March of this year

Hello -My name is Karen.  I lost my only son at 22 years of age in a car accident in March of this year. I am doing "okay" considering.  I have strong bouts of intense grief on and off and of course I miss and long for him daily. It really just SUCKS! I have surrounded my self with a support group and a Psychotherapist.  I have also started to explore my Spirituality and looking for unanswered to questions to my existence and purpose.  I welcome anyone that would like to share their experience with me.  We all need support and voice to speak to and from.  Thank you for listening and reading Karen

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Comment by Karen Wilson on September 7, 2017 at 8:06pm

Hi Teresa, So sorry about your son as well! I never know what to say when people ask me "how are you" I usually say coping as best I can but it sucks.  I know and understand everything you have said, its heartbreaking!  We will drive ourselves crazy asking why? I will grieve til I take my last breath. I think we need to learn how to live with the pain, as hard as that sounds.  We can't end our lives as that is not a good legacy for our sons life. As much as I feel like it some days. I have really seen who really matters in terms of friends and family and it surprises me who has been there unconditionally and who has treated my grieving like its all about them and can't understand my process.  That has been a great source of pain and sadness for me in top of the loss. Where are you from Teresa?  I am sending my thoughts and love to you

Comment by Tereasa Clay on September 7, 2017 at 12:36pm

Hi Karen, I lost my son too in a car accident, he was 29, my only child. I feel your pain and often feel the things you described. and yes it really does suck and I too cant make sense of why my only child is gone, no grandchildren and no one to pass anything down to, all the hard work Iv done trying to make a future to pass on to him and for what? I feel like just giving everything away now to anyone just to get rid of, I can easily get rid of my stuff but find myself holding on to his stuff, even old toys he has when he was little that were just sitting in boxes. I miss him so much and still after almost 11 months now cant understand WHY

Comment by Joy on August 22, 2017 at 9:46am

Karen, I just want to offer my sincere sympathy in losing your son. While I'm grieving my mom's death, and our situations are completely different, I do know what grief is and can relate on that point. I'm glad you are getting the support and help you need during this most difficult time.

Comment by Billy Jo Colt on August 21, 2017 at 5:03pm

Hi |Karen, I lost my girlfriend just over 4 years ago. The loss hurts every day. I haven't got the network you have. From your tone, I sense that with all that help and support around you, something is missing? Grief is a very individual and personal thing. Every single person grieve in their own way. No two ways are the same. I always say this and it's so true. The one's we love most when they pass over it hurts the most. There are so many types of spiritulism, all have a similar basis though. It is an in depth field that often helps with our grieving process. The most difficult thing I think is coming to terms with our loss. There is no length of time, in which we do. Everyone is so different. What we do on the site is share that loss or losses. The loss again is different for everyone but it is still a loss. I have an African grey parrot called Barney who loved Carol. They never met as she lived in Canada and I live in Scotland. I spoke to Carol via skype and they even had a special whistle. He asks for her every single day. I picked up my guitar a few months ago and began writing again. He honestly is so clever, he is making up his own words and singing, Where is my Carol and variations on that theme. I've just finished writing a song about grieving which will be recorded shortly. It isn't quite finished completely yet but close. I hope it will help people and allow them to know they are not alone in their grief. I hope the site can help you in every way possible. There are some really nice people on here. Take care and feel free to add me if you want. I am a blind guy and often that deters people from becoming a friend. hugggs, John

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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
4 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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5 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
5 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
5 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
6 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Avi joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
7 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, mom's are very intuitive. I tired to hide it. It didn't work. Mom could see right through me. She would tell me that everything was going to be okay. I think my mom was more worried about leaving me than she was about dying. That…"
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yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett,   Your posts always make me cry, you write so well and it always hits me in the heart.  So you also felt the constant despair inside, but you were able to control and hide it, unlike me.  Therein lies my guilt.  I was…"
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