Lost my Son -only child in March of this year

Hello -My name is Karen.  I lost my only son at 22 years of age in a car accident in March of this year. I am doing "okay" considering.  I have strong bouts of intense grief on and off and of course I miss and long for him daily. It really just SUCKS! I have surrounded my self with a support group and a Psychotherapist.  I have also started to explore my Spirituality and looking for unanswered to questions to my existence and purpose.  I welcome anyone that would like to share their experience with me.  We all need support and voice to speak to and from.  Thank you for listening and reading Karen

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Comment by Karen Wilson on September 7, 2017 at 8:06pm

Hi Teresa, So sorry about your son as well! I never know what to say when people ask me "how are you" I usually say coping as best I can but it sucks.  I know and understand everything you have said, its heartbreaking!  We will drive ourselves crazy asking why? I will grieve til I take my last breath. I think we need to learn how to live with the pain, as hard as that sounds.  We can't end our lives as that is not a good legacy for our sons life. As much as I feel like it some days. I have really seen who really matters in terms of friends and family and it surprises me who has been there unconditionally and who has treated my grieving like its all about them and can't understand my process.  That has been a great source of pain and sadness for me in top of the loss. Where are you from Teresa?  I am sending my thoughts and love to you

Comment by Tereasa Clay on September 7, 2017 at 12:36pm

Hi Karen, I lost my son too in a car accident, he was 29, my only child. I feel your pain and often feel the things you described. and yes it really does suck and I too cant make sense of why my only child is gone, no grandchildren and no one to pass anything down to, all the hard work Iv done trying to make a future to pass on to him and for what? I feel like just giving everything away now to anyone just to get rid of, I can easily get rid of my stuff but find myself holding on to his stuff, even old toys he has when he was little that were just sitting in boxes. I miss him so much and still after almost 11 months now cant understand WHY

Comment by Joy on August 22, 2017 at 9:46am

Karen, I just want to offer my sincere sympathy in losing your son. While I'm grieving my mom's death, and our situations are completely different, I do know what grief is and can relate on that point. I'm glad you are getting the support and help you need during this most difficult time.

Comment by Billy Jo Colt on August 21, 2017 at 5:03pm

Hi |Karen, I lost my girlfriend just over 4 years ago. The loss hurts every day. I haven't got the network you have. From your tone, I sense that with all that help and support around you, something is missing? Grief is a very individual and personal thing. Every single person grieve in their own way. No two ways are the same. I always say this and it's so true. The one's we love most when they pass over it hurts the most. There are so many types of spiritulism, all have a similar basis though. It is an in depth field that often helps with our grieving process. The most difficult thing I think is coming to terms with our loss. There is no length of time, in which we do. Everyone is so different. What we do on the site is share that loss or losses. The loss again is different for everyone but it is still a loss. I have an African grey parrot called Barney who loved Carol. They never met as she lived in Canada and I live in Scotland. I spoke to Carol via skype and they even had a special whistle. He asks for her every single day. I picked up my guitar a few months ago and began writing again. He honestly is so clever, he is making up his own words and singing, Where is my Carol and variations on that theme. I've just finished writing a song about grieving which will be recorded shortly. It isn't quite finished completely yet but close. I hope it will help people and allow them to know they are not alone in their grief. I hope the site can help you in every way possible. There are some really nice people on here. Take care and feel free to add me if you want. I am a blind guy and often that deters people from becoming a friend. hugggs, John

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