Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I recently received news that my best friend passed away from heroin laced with fentanyl at age 31 on jan 10th. I was in shock and felt like i was in a bad dream. I hadn't heard from him in almost 6 months and figured he was out slamming dope because in the past he would tend to avoid me and my mother (who was like a 2nd mom to him) because he didn't want us seeing him strung out and didn't want to ruin our relationship of trust. May 15th, i arrive home from a job interview and check facebook and see that he's finally contactable, i get to the point (no BS) and ask if i could use him as a reference i then proceed to inquire about where hes been for the past four months and how he was doing. about 10 minutes later his GF responds informing me that my best friend overdosed four months ago. This blew me back and i felt sick and for a few moments in denial of this information, i had just got done talking to a friend about her ex BF ODing from fentanyl earlier that week. what the hell was going on, it was almost like i was in a bad dream. I ask here things like how he passed, where was he buried and how his father and son are doing. Drugs and alcohol tore his family apart, beat him down spiritually and crushed him emotionally but deep down inside he still had a great spirit. He left behind a kind GF, a loving father and a wonderful son. I've been feeling sorrow, guilt and most of all anger that who ever sold him the dope didn't bother to tell him it was laced, its like he didn't even have a fighting chance. I know with Heroin it's just a matter of time until their number is up but i feel like he got sucker punched. Just like him i have my own issues with depression, anxiety and an unhealthy craving for alcohol. its so hard to be normal when you lose somebody you consider to be a brother. Theres a void in my life where a pure honest friendship once thrived. I haven't turned to the bottle and i honestly think he wouldn't want that, i just hope that if there is an after life that he's safe and at peace and that one day we'll see each other again.