Online Grief Support - A Social Community

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Listening to music

Hadn't been able to listen to music until tonight.
It didn't destroy me the way I thought it would.
The memories come flooding back but I didn't break down like I thought I would.
Am I in shock?
Am I numb?
Is something wrong with me?
Or is this part of the grief.
My heart feels like it has a chunk missing now. But it no longer feels like there is a knife sticking out of it.

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Comment by Jason on March 18, 2016 at 9:41am: FLORA, some made me cry. Some I listened to knowing they would make me cry.
Some I hadn't heard in decades.
We were together 26 years. That was half of her life and just short of half of mine.
I was a logical person. I understand she is gone. I don't know when my mind will wrap itself around it. Or if it should.
I feel her with me most of the time.
Some after death things have happened.
I believe she is waiting for me.
I just have to raise our 5 yo twins, be here for them, then we can be together again forever.

Comment by FLORA on March 18, 2016 at 8:51am: Jason, I think it's part of the grief. I'm experiencing the same feelings. Sometimes it's seems to be getting a little easier for me, some of the anxiety has lessoned, although I still can't listen to his favorite songs or watch his favorite TV programs or movies, just too many memories. But I think I'm finally coming to the reality that he's gone, Gone forever!!! I will never see him or hear his voice again, NEVER. But I'll never accept his death, I'll only live through it, and hope that each day gets a little easier, and maybe one day I can be happy again.