It's been 2 years and 2 months since I lost my dad, and 1 year and 3 months since u lost my grandmother. Sometimes I feel like they were never here, like this is normal life without them. Then I have moments when I want to curl up in a ball and just cry because it hurts so much to miss them. I try to remember the good moments but all I can think about is the last days.
The other day I was at the hospital with a friend and when we walked in I saw my dad, like I was shook this older women was laying in a hospital bed. I still can't shake that for a split second I saw my dad laying there.

It's so hard and I don't have time to grieve for either of them as I was in college and had to focus on my school. I am just having a hard time accepting they r fine and I can't call my dad whenever I need to talk.

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Comment by Rebecca Clemens on August 5, 2018 at 2:12am
I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend Carrie and I hope it gets better. I have a picture of my father and his urn on my dresser, I also carry some of his ashes in a necklace with me everywhere I go. Sometimes it helps to know he is close but I still have days where I just curl in a ball and cry. I thought about seeing a professional but not sure if it's plausible right now due to lack of funds.
Take care

Becky
Comment by Carrie on July 29, 2018 at 8:43am
Hi Rebecca. I know some of how you r feeling. My father Passed two years ago. Recently my boyfriend of four years was found dead in his backyard from alcoholism. I hadn’t seen him in two weeks, he wasn’t answering phone and this is the news I got. Im Devestated!
I found it helpful For my dad to put his picture up on my mantle. I would talk and cry to it. Even ask for advice. Some how this helped me.
I can’t do this for my boyfriend because I’m so sick right now of the death. I’m going to try professional grief counseling. That may be something for you. Pray for strength and rest when you can.
Take care
Carrie

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