i just feel like crying its like no one cares about how i feel i just feel so depressed. not even my bf understands all the things i think about  all the pain i still hold with me after all this time. i feel like im never going to be right. all iwant is to be happy and it just seems like its a fairytale im starting to thing that there is no such thing. i just want my boyfriend to give me attention to make me feel like i mean something to him i wish that myjob didnt take so much advantage of me and everyone else. no one wants to hear me no one wants to talk to me i just feel so alone. all my friends are busy doing there own thing but i cant blame them b4 i wouldnt go anywhere with them just to spend time with my man i guess that bit me in the ass cuz my man all he does all day is complain and sit on his lazy ass all day sometimes i just think he doesnt want to spend anytime with me but i dont even want tobe around myself sohow do i blame him well maybe cuz he has nothing to complain about both his parents are still together and alive he hashis family around and he is not alone which is more than i cud say i guess

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Comment by Donna Gauthier on June 27, 2011 at 6:02pm

Steacy

  It would be very hard to lose someone you love that way. I don't know if there are diffrent layers to the types of sorrow we feel as to how a person feels or if it is just strong sorrow. All I know from what I have seen with loseing a father,father-in-law, mother, mother-in-law and other friends and family. And now my sweet son. They have all been hard but I think finding my son the morning he died.Looseing my parents has been the worse. And the most empty and hurtful just the looseing them the one's who rasied me and someone I could always count on as no other.

  It sounds that your friends and family are wanting a lot from you right now. At least more than you are able to give at this time.I don't know how long it has been but I know some people take longer to heal than others. I know my parents have been gone a long time and there are times when I miss them terribly. I need that speical love that only parents can give. And I lost them to illness. Not something unexpectied like murder. I know it has effected me very strongly to find my son unexpectedly on April 17. I think about how he looked how he smells and the terrible feeling of him in riggur. From when the 911 opperator told me to try CPR even though you could tell he was dead. I don't think I will ever forget that. So I think unexpected is a lot harder than a death that was almost expected or like people say you were waiting for them to die because of a bad illness. My son was ill but they thought he was stable.

 Some people seem to have trouble being around who is depressed or having trouble dealing with life in anyway and would rather not to be around them and help them but would rather just turn away and carry on with their.  think I understand somewhat of what you are going though. I was just lonely before my son died but I didn't feel empty and in a strange world. That has changed beyond my comperyhention. Beyond my understanding. My other son and daughter in law. Were helping me and told me about all kinds of plans they were making to fix his room into a storage room.  So I have more room to put stuff because I have no place for storage in my little house. And they wanted to set up a livingroom again. Now they have found out how hard it is to take me to the doctor, the store and pharmacy. Now I have no one to even talk to. Except my aid just a few days a week to help around the house. So I understand how you feel. If you need someone to e-mail to. Go ahead and contact me. I may not be able to help but I can write you back. I hope you feel better soon. Donna

 

Comment by Toyanne on February 2, 2011 at 8:56am

Here is a poem that I came across it's called MOM

MOM

MOM, can you here my cry for you, can you feel the need I hold, the desperate need to talk to you.

My life is not the life it was when you were in it.

I can't get it to be the same. I need you and miss you so.

I don't know what to do or which way to go.

MOM

Is there any thing I can do so, I could just talk to you,

To see that you're all right, I know the place you've gone is good

for only good can go.

I'm so afraid that I have not been as good to go and I may not be

given look forward to, to just be with you again.

MOM!

I know what your going through I just lost my mom just this last May 9, 2010 my mom had a massive heart attack we were close and I just lost my nephew on Nov 17, 2010.

Comment by steacy del valle on January 18, 2011 at 7:43am
i try to look for the good in life but i dont see good i see people that dont care about each other . i dont expect for any1 to help me because i know they dont understand but sometimes i just want someone to just hold me while i sit and cry i just dont want judgement i just want to find peace inside my self but all everyone does is judge me and dont say nothing positive or just try to tell me what to do all thhe time and that really bugs me. the only good thing i have is my son and only for him i would move mountains but everyone else just seems to make me feel like an outsider and they have no compasion
Comment by coachlouise on January 17, 2011 at 10:22pm

Most of us feel like no one around us understands, and that is because many do not understand, and they have no idea as to how to help. Please do not take it personally. Finding one person who can can listen and coach you will be a true  blessing for you. I coach people all the time, it really helps. 

In the mean time spend at least ten minutes a day looking for the good in life. It will make you feel better. I send you love

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