I lost my Mom on July 25th of this year(2017) 6 years after my Dad. I don't understand why I cant cry, I mean I know its a complicated process when things don't go as planned. My Mom spent some much time in and out of the hospital the last 15 years; every time was "the time" but then she would rally and be shopping days later. I admit I thought she would live forever, or at least longer than me so I never really saw this day coming. Still I don't understand why I don't cry!

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Comment by Angela on September 3, 2017 at 1:56am

I am thinking constantly about my Mom and feeling sad

Comment by Angela on August 18, 2017 at 12:06am

I think because my daughter is giving me my first grand child it has blocked out some of the hurt I feel. Even though I am not crying I do think about my mom all the time, everyday

Comment by Diane on August 17, 2017 at 9:25am
My mom had renal failure , she passed away December 2015. I still miss her everyday of my breathing, during this time I had broken my right wrist on a Friday Dec. 11 2015 my mom died on the 17. The pain was in so many directions, leaving the Hospital was so hard without her, I now am cleaned it out all her clothing which is hard, but I'm ready. Yes I still get so sad at times, but she's so much better with the lord. I love you mom, see you again,
Comment by Angela on August 14, 2017 at 4:22pm

I very much appreciate your comments ladies, it is good to get other peoples perspectives on things that we cant figure out for ourselves.  I admit to being really introspective and perhaps that is why I have a need to understand my feelings. I did love my mom but her and I had a really rocky relationship my whole life and some of her last lucid words to me were really mean. probably from fear but still, and no one else knows about them.

Comment by Joy on August 14, 2017 at 1:25pm

Angela, I'm sorry you lost your mom. I think we all believe our mom's are immortal in some way and when they do die it shakes us to our core.

While I did cry when my mom first died, it wasn't the gut-wrenching cries I've had in the months following her death. I think now, I'm processing the fact that she isn't ever coming home. There's this finality in death. Also I was mostly numb initially. I've felt a lot of anger (the grief process isn't linear) and now this profound sadness. I wish I could stop crying everyday. I wish I could stop the anxiety and panic attacks that overwhelm me at times.

That said, I agree with Patricia, when you're ready you will. Don't beat yourself up about it. The fact that you're writing about her shows your love for her and that will live forever. 

Comment by Patricia on August 14, 2017 at 12:57pm

My Mom was sick for a long time too. But she still went about her daily life. Even when she could less things, she was still my Mom, always at the end of the phone line. Her house was always perfect when I visited. I lost Mom Oct. 1 of last year. Everyone is different and grieves differently. I feel her loss like a deep hole in my chest. I didn't cry for a while. It was just a quiet pain. I think I wanted (and still want) to keep her close and I feel like if I cry I'll release some of that pain. When you're ready you'll cry. It may come when you don't expect it. I'm sorry for your loss, Angela.

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