I'm not sure if I am grieving in a positive and healthy way. All I really know for sure is that I miss my family, ...especially my sister, Melissa. Melissa had a way of making me feel important, needed, loved, cared for, special, and she had a way of lighting up a room. I am having difficulty with life in general without her. The world seems so much smaller and darker since she passed. Not near as light-hearted or inviting as before.

My sister taught me to be more accepting of people who are different or don't quite fit in somehow. She taught me the value of kindness and respect. And she taught me to be humble. She taught me how to laugh and that it is okay to be a little silly and have "the giggles" sometimes.

We shared 52 years of life and times together and it has left a huge hole in my life and a big dent in my heart. After 2 years since her passing and I am finally coming to appreciate life again, but it is with a great deal of hesitancy that I walk this path alone, without my mom, dad, brother, and sister.  I turn 60 on Tuesday the 9th of March, perhaps that is triggering feelings of loss and loneliness as well.

Seems I am holding onto the past more than I am striving for a better future. AM I though? Really?

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Comment by bluebird on March 10, 2021 at 6:20pm
I am truly glad that my words made you feel a bit better.
Comment by Wes Raincloud on March 10, 2021 at 5:45pm

Thank you, Bluebird!!! My mother got me hyped up about a baby sister when she was pregnant with Melissa, (I would have been about 4 and a half years old). She was a strong person, a survivor, and a fighter, (not in the violent sense). I admired my sister and I continue to love her unconditionally. Thank you for stopping by and giving me your take on things. I feel a bit better. 

Wes

Comment by bluebird on March 10, 2021 at 3:17pm

I'm no expert, by any means, but your grief processing sounds healthy to me. It also sounds as though your sister made and continues to make a real impression on you, and affect your life in many good ways -- what a wonderful legacy!

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"i no im bac 2 wear i wz in 2012 2012 2012 i wz  num disbelif angr denil juts watin on my slf hlp cds to gt in pots so i dmy fd do mistaks i did wen dad died  it nal proof thy neededin my brosrs goj  nuts evn mics nt typun on me me its…"
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Diana, Grief Recovery Coach commented on Diana, Grief Recovery Coach's group Grief Counseling
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Diana, Grief Recovery Coach replied to Diana, Grief Recovery Coach's discussion Are you finding it difficult to eat right?
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