Caregiver (noun) - A family member who regularly looks after a sick person

Being a caregiver for a loved one is a challenging but beautiful responsibility to have. Through the ups and downs, we are there to offer physical and mental support 24/7 to the family member in need. A caregiver wears many hats, from nurse to chef, with a smile on their face, even under the most intense pressure, to ease the burden from their loved one. 

The month before my father passed, I remember stopping in the hallway outside his room and crying, wondering how I was going to keep taking care of him, as his condition worsened. Now, I would give anything to be back in that position, just to have him here with me for a little bit longer. I am glad he is not suffering, but it doesn’t change the fact that selfishly I want him here with me. I am in that stage that I feel many caregivers must go through. After all is said and done, what are we left with? I am feeling lost without the purpose of taking care of my dad. And even though I took care of him, he took care of me as well. I am trying to pick up the pieces and move on, like he would have wanted me to, but my motivation for work and school has diminished. It feels as if each month is a new cliff I cannot climb, bringing me further from the day he passed, but leaving me feeling just as empty. 

This is for the caregivers. I am here to give you your credit. Everyone needs acknowledgement and if your loved one is unable to give that to you now that she or he is gone, I want to say that I know. Caregivers don’t forget. We will always have that special bond with a loved one to hold onto, even if the rest of the world is waiting for us to “move on” now that they are at peace. 

Views: 24

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by M Adams on June 30, 2019 at 12:21am

Very touched by what you’ve written here: “...I took care of him, he took care of me as well.”  This brought back some memories for me; I have had mixed feelings about being called a caregiver for my mother and for my husband, because it often felt disrespectful of them, not reflecting the mutual care and love we shared.  At the same time I am so grateful for the special bond we had, and the time we spent together, though like you there is an emptiness now that is hard to confront.  Hope you’ll be able to gain some comfort as time goes by, remembering the unique closeness you had with your father.  

Groups

Latest Activity

Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
18 hours ago
G B is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Wednesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Tuesday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Tuesday
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 15
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Jul 15
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Jul 15

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service