My heart is hurting so badly right now. I feel blindsided, although I know I should not have been, I should have seen it coming. But I was trying so hard, for one because my husband would want me to and for another I felt it was the right thing to do.

My husband and I have not had anything to do with his sisters for the last 7 years, had they continued through this year it would have been 8. Almost 8 years ago they accused my husband and me of the most ridiculous things and imagined slights. They would twist what really happened so they were the victim and sometimes flat out lie. We didn't hear from them again for the most part, my husband would try to reach out for birthdays and holidays only to be shot down. Then almost 3 months ago my husband had life-saving surgery. They started coming around acting like nothing ever happened. I left it alone because I saw how happy it made my husband. They were helpful throughout my husband's services and funeral and for the last 2 weeks.

But all of a sudden today they are the victim again. I won't return their calls when they call to see if I'm ok or need anything. Only partially true; I didn't return 1 phone call and the second I returned with a text instead of a call. I never call them they always have to call me and I won't really talk to them, I try to get off the phone quickly. This is true, I'm sorry but almost 8 years of no contact they are not the ones I want to call when I actually feel like talking to another human being. And when they call I do try and get off fairly quickly because I can not stand how they trying to act like they knew who my husband was in the end. All their memories and stories are from over 12 years ago, my husband changed a lot over those years. Most of their happy stories are of before he and I met. A lot of them are from when he was with his ex (who we have had issues with and they know this). So naturally, I don't want to sit around and listen to them reminisce about those times. I won't allow them to do things for me like grocery shopping, errand running, calling people. This is true, it is easier for me to go shopping myself as I know what brands and kinds of food we eat instead of trying to write it all down and hope they get the right stuff. I run my errands and make the calls I need to because most of them only I can do. And doing all of this keeps me busy and my mind occupied. Which I need; especially since my kids are back in school and my house is just empty and quiet while they are gone. I don't tell them when I go to the cemetery. True, I don't tell anyone when I go. They find out because they call me saying someone left flowers or cleaned something and I say yea, that was me.

But apparently, all of that means I hate them and will turn our children against them and all this other stuff. My mother-in-law called me to find out what was going on. Slightly mad at me for all this stuff they were saying, not knowing my side of things. I explained my side and she got upset with them. Said not to worry she would take care of it. Well, I heard through the grapevine a few hours later that they are upset that my mother-in-law is taking my side. Like it's some kind of contest.

Really! It hasn't even been a month since he died and they start this crap! I am at a loss for words about the entire thing and am so angry. Now I really do want to tell them to take a flying leap. Why do people try to kick you when your down? What could there possibly be to gain? Sometimes I wish how I felt on the inside was reflected on the outside so I can show them exactly which scars they've inflicted.

Views: 27

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by MIchael Ortiz on August 14, 2017 at 4:03pm

I am so sad for you and get it. For some reason they think you know them but you do not.But also in your heart you are like were have you been. I had 2 horrible people. One a unknown cousin said it was only 6 years.HUH. She was married  to a abuser and cheater and drug user of a ex. she left her marriage with nothing just to get out quick. Then I found out by her sister she does not even know the cousin. Then 2 weeks after her death her son call about money and her car. He ask nothing about her. Yes was in rehab and over the last 6 years has cost her insurance over 500.000 and yes read that right. I sat back and ask why. I get your feelings and you have that right. They are strangers and have a strange way of thinking. You are his wife end of story.

Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Christine and Janie. Thank you both for your comments Bluebell"
2 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"By her home I meant my Mom's."
2 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone! Today was a stressful day for me. I found a great website it is called Soul Proof .com.  Bluebell I thought about you as I was reading different things on after death experiences. Both times my daughter and I have been together in…"
2 hours ago
Profile IconJen and LoveGoli joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
5 hours ago
JO B commented on Mike H.'s blog post Repost: Is It Wrong to Grieve?
"no its ok 2 grief evn ifs its a 50 yrs its still ok evn 80 yrs its ok no 1 shud tell pele 2 not giref its not lk a op or bandge u can tak off its not griefs 1 thng u ca n not heal  sorry if im sayin wong thngs heat sorry abot yore loss 2"
5 hours ago
JO B replied to JO B's discussion mad at god
5 hours ago
Courtney Boyke posted a status
"I feel lost a lot of the time kinda more depressed than anything"
9 hours ago
Courtney Boyke and Mary Ann Troxell are now friends
9 hours ago
Christine Ford commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"I'm new to the group.  In November 2015 my Mom & Dad were cutting a tree branch in their backyard and the branch fell on my Mom and killed her.  I am numb some days.  I just try to focus on how wonderful my mom was, not how…"
9 hours ago
Christine Ford commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, thank you for posting the comment about having a mother that loved you, food to eat, and your family.  I too am luck to have/have had those things.  Your comment reminded me of what I have to be thankful for.  Christine"
9 hours ago
Christine Ford joined Karen's group
Thumbnail

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
10 hours ago
Christine Ford updated their profile
10 hours ago
Profile IconChristine Ford and julia shvekky joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
10 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Theresa. It is hard for me to accept I am still grieving her loss so much. But I am still going to try and inch forward little by little and have more "okay" times. I think my Mom would want that. I can not stay in this…"
10 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, grieving is a normal part of life and death, you are only 6 months into it, please don't expect too much, I am now almost two years and I still am trying to accept the fact of what happened and how fast it occurred.  Some days I…"
11 hours ago
Joy commented on Karen Wilson's blog post Lost my Son -only child in March of this year
"Karen, I just want to offer my sincere sympathy in losing your son. While I'm grieving my mom's death, and our situations are completely different, I do know what grief is and can relate on that point. I'm glad you are getting the…"
11 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am grateful I had a mother that loved me I am grateful I have a roof over my head and food to eat I am grateful for my family"
13 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am blessed to have my sister. But I also realize that she is going through a bad time too and it would not be fair to her to burden her with all the negativity that is going through my mind. With that being said, I am going to try and be more…"
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I will pray for you as well. I understand. Theresa, that is one of the most beautiful things about Catholicism. Sitting in adoration of the sacrament is an incredible blessing. Bluebell, you wrote something that was very telling. You have…"
18 hours ago
LoveGoli replied to Maxey's discussion Moved, but nothing changes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are lucky that you spent 55 years, but I had only 3years and the pain is getting worse day by day. Moving from one place to another does not help because you can not remove that person from your heart.  Same feeling I am having which you…"
22 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service