Don't grieve alone; 13,500 members and growing
My heart is hurting so badly right now. I feel blindsided, although I know I should not have been, I should have seen it coming. But I was trying so hard, for one because my husband would want me to and for another I felt it was the right thing to do.
My husband and I have not had anything to do with his sisters for the last 7 years, had they continued through this year it would have been 8. Almost 8 years ago they accused my husband and me of the most ridiculous things and imagined slights. They would twist what really happened so they were the victim and sometimes flat out lie. We didn't hear from them again for the most part, my husband would try to reach out for birthdays and holidays only to be shot down. Then almost 3 months ago my husband had life-saving surgery. They started coming around acting like nothing ever happened. I left it alone because I saw how happy it made my husband. They were helpful throughout my husband's services and funeral and for the last 2 weeks.
But all of a sudden today they are the victim again. I won't return their calls when they call to see if I'm ok or need anything. Only partially true; I didn't return 1 phone call and the second I returned with a text instead of a call. I never call them they always have to call me and I won't really talk to them, I try to get off the phone quickly. This is true, I'm sorry but almost 8 years of no contact they are not the ones I want to call when I actually feel like talking to another human being. And when they call I do try and get off fairly quickly because I can not stand how they trying to act like they knew who my husband was in the end. All their memories and stories are from over 12 years ago, my husband changed a lot over those years. Most of their happy stories are of before he and I met. A lot of them are from when he was with his ex (who we have had issues with and they know this). So naturally, I don't want to sit around and listen to them reminisce about those times. I won't allow them to do things for me like grocery shopping, errand running, calling people. This is true, it is easier for me to go shopping myself as I know what brands and kinds of food we eat instead of trying to write it all down and hope they get the right stuff. I run my errands and make the calls I need to because most of them only I can do. And doing all of this keeps me busy and my mind occupied. Which I need; especially since my kids are back in school and my house is just empty and quiet while they are gone. I don't tell them when I go to the cemetery. True, I don't tell anyone when I go. They find out because they call me saying someone left flowers or cleaned something and I say yea, that was me.
But apparently, all of that means I hate them and will turn our children against them and all this other stuff. My mother-in-law called me to find out what was going on. Slightly mad at me for all this stuff they were saying, not knowing my side of things. I explained my side and she got upset with them. Said not to worry she would take care of it. Well, I heard through the grapevine a few hours later that they are upset that my mother-in-law is taking my side. Like it's some kind of contest.
Really! It hasn't even been a month since he died and they start this crap! I am at a loss for words about the entire thing and am so angry. Now I really do want to tell them to take a flying leap. Why do people try to kick you when your down? What could there possibly be to gain? Sometimes I wish how I felt on the inside was reflected on the outside so I can show them exactly which scars they've inflicted.