Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Hello, My name is Amanda, I actually came across this page literally by accident however I have a strong feeling it "wasn't accidental" I was actually looking for information about "signs" from loved ones because every time I am outside a dragonfly appears and just hovers around until I go back inside, at first I didn't think much of it but here recently I began really noticing the pattern and it's honestly every time I am outside at my home (many times throughout the day) so I decided to Google any information about this or if it has happened to others, maybe not a dragonfly but something similar and this site popped up. So I want to share some of the "Blessings" as I call them with you all, I want to apologize in advance for such a long post but there's so much I want to share and I've learned that it is very helpful for me to talk about my dad and share things with others even people I don't know. It was April 19, 2005 I was 25 when I lost my Daddy, he was 59, my dad was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes when I was 5 he was 39, the ER doctors couldn't understand how/why my mom was able to walk my dad into the emergency room, his blood sugar was 900 and all the doctors and nurses said he should've been in a coma with that high of blood sugar, dad spent 2 weeks in the hospital. It was a 20 year battle with this disease, like a rollercoaster there were so many ups and downs it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to sit and watch as literally attacked every single part of his body, from his kidneys, eyes, bones and limbs. In my eyes my dad was the strongest man I knew and to this day still is, many of you can probably tell by now I was a Daddy's Girl, he was my world and if you asked anyone I was his. It was April 18, 2005 my dad was still in ICU at the hospital (so some of you know the visiting hours are a lot different) I spent every visitation with my dad that was scheduled for an hour, so on the 18th it was the last visitation for the evening, he was sitting up sideways in his bed, feet dangling over the edge and I told him he looked and must have felt great that evening, he looked at me and his words have stuck in my head still to this day he said "Baby girl, your daddy is going home" my reply was one he probably heard a few times over 20 years, I told him when the doctor tell us you can. At 3:30am (7 hours after seeing him and his words to me) April 19, 2005 the hospital called and said I needed to get there that he was unresponsive. I sit right beside him holding his hand from the moment I got there, it was my mom who looked at me and said "he is fighting for you, you need to tell him it's okay" I can promise you those 2 words were the hardest 2 words I've ever said, it was that very moment he squeezed my hand and opened his big blue eyes as a tear rolled across the bridge of his nose 15 hours after the hospital called I watched as he took his final breath. Many, many months went by after his passing until one night I had a dream that was so real it had my shaking, I called my mom and began telling her, she quickly said I'm on my way, I need to talk to you, so she gets there and we talk. My parents had separated when I was 20, probably 2 years before my dad passed my mom had gotten pregnant and my dad took it extremely hard when he found out, he was angry with me (because I was happy, I always wanted a sibling, I was their only child, my dad had 4 others from a previous marriage but they were a lot older than me) and he said some hurtful things to my mom, sadly my mom miscarried but unknowingly to me until that moment she came to talk my mom told me everything from his hurtful words to the promise he made, my dad had told her after her miscarriage that she would have the son they always wanted but he would'nt be here to see it. It was exactly 2 months after my dad passed my mom found out she was pregnant, soon later she found out it was a boy and a few months later my brother Elijah, was born, (we are 27 years apart and just a little insight my parents were 17 years apart) in my dream it was me and my mom and she told me I needed to tell my dad we were leaving but I couldn't find him, then he was there and he said "Elijah is here because of me and one day Baby Girl you too will be a mommy". I think my mom was just as shaken up as I was when I had first called her to tell her about my dream. When Elijah was 2 he was playing and asked me if I knew his friend "Donnie" I thought to myself "Oh Lord, he has imaginary friends" probably about a week to a week and a half later, me and my mom were sitting at my house (of course this big sister had him spoiled, he had his own room and toy room at my house) and Elijah comes running out of his toy room and asked if I knew "Goat" I said yes bub I know what goats are and he said "NO, My Friend Goat, he comes to see me and plays with me, he told me he really loves you and misses you" my heart sank and I busted into tears, so did my mom, you see my dads name was Donald (that's where the "Donnie" came in) and his nickname was "Goat!!", my brother never met him, dad passed in '05 and Elijah was born in '06. In 2013 I reconnected with my old boyfriend whom I dated when I was 19, we've been married for almost 4 years now. My husband to this very day still talks about the time we went to my parents for dinner and my dad told him to have a seat, they needed to talk and dad told me to go help my mom in the kitchen that this was a talk between a father and his daughters boyfriend, my husband will say he was scared to death and he will never forget "that talk". Now I tell you that this was the very FIRST and LAST time my dad ever sat down a boyfriend and had "that talk" sometimes I wonder if daddy knew something John and I didn't know many years ago. There's been many things and different signs in these 13 years since dad has passed that's happened, I have learned not to blame others for things missing, I use to blame my poor little brother but I've realized over the years it wasn't him or others, my dad was a huge practical joker. My husband and I recently moved back home to West Virginia from Louisiana, we both were born and raised here (WV) we now live in the same town where I was raised. About a month and a half ago I was sitting up stretched out on my couch playing a casino game on my tablet and my husband was in another room doing who knows what (typical man thing) when something caught my eye, I looked up and standing in the dining room stood my dad, I even shook my head as if my eyes were playing tricks on me only to still see him standing there, nothing was said but a feeling came over me, it was as if my dad was saying it's okay, I'm okay, I'm still here with you (that's the easiest way I can explain it, like for the first time I felt Peace) So that brings me back to what I was first saying about coming across this site, since moving back each time I'm outside there is 1 dragonfly that shows up out of nowhere hovering around me almost close enough to touch. A little bit ago I told my husband about it, like I said just recently did I start noticing the pattern of this occurrence with the dragonfly. My husband was outside for about 20mins before I went outside, soon after I was out there like the snap of your fingers the dragonfly appeared, my husband looks at me and said "what the" I've been out here this whole time and never once seen a dragonfly. My husband doesn't believe in things like this well I can't say it's that he don't believe I just think he doesn't want to out of fear as for myself, I smile and say "Hi Daddy, I Know You're Here and I Love You Too".