had a miserable ending to my day and wanted to ask my dad's advice.  he loved "helping" me.  then I started blubbering in the car cause I couldn't call him

Views: 44

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by Chris on February 8, 2017 at 4:30pm

what would dad do?  I like it.  thank you.  I have been crying less this past week and when I do start, I'm able to stop sooner.  I guess that's progress, but my type A sis is driving me nuts.  we're trying to sell his house and all that happens with that kind of business.  I just can't bring myself to walk into his house.  there's blood stains on the carpet from his copd coughing.  my hubby removed the Christmas tree in December while I sat in the car sobbing.  since then I haven't been back.  my brother cleaned and removed stuff.   thank God my dad had very little clutter.  they seem so much stronger than me.  I used to be strong.  I don't know what happened.  the older I get, the weaker I get.  i'm glad I found this forum.  i'm grateful to be able to tell strangers how I feel lol.  no one talks about anything of substance in my life.  just business as usual.  someone bumped into me this morning and I spilled my coffee all down the front of a cream colored blouse I was wearing.  I was so self conscience about it but I really don't think anyone noticed.  nobody even looks at anyone today, let alone has a meaningful conversation 

Comment by Jenn on February 7, 2017 at 4:00pm

that's awful. triggers like that are so sudden and are caused by the most random things. my dad died on a trip abroad and the other day I found an envelope with his handwriting on it. it was a reminder to himself to make a doctor's appointment after his trip that read "DO THIS WHEN I GET BACK." I had a decent amount of energy beforehand but after seeing that I just crumbled.

But you're right. The positive influence they've had on us is one we get to keep forever. One thing that helps guide me is thinking what my dad would advise me to do in any given situation. even if I can't hear it myself, it makes me feel like whatever I do, if I do it with him in mind, it's the right decision.

Comment by Chris on February 6, 2017 at 5:16pm

i'm sorry for your loss too :( we had the opportunity to have good dads.  I hate not knowing when something is going to trigger a crying episode.  it's usually the silliest things like last week I got water down my throat the wrong way in the shower and started sputtering.  then thoughts of my dad at the end when he couldn't breath well and had a hard time taking a shower.  he was too proud to let his daughters help him

Comment by Jenn on February 4, 2017 at 9:13pm

I'm sorry you're going through this. This has happened to me recently. I've been moving into a new stage in my career and have always asked my Dad for advice, now more than ever. Now he's gone. The other day I had some bad luck and didn't know what to do and all I wanted was to call my Dad because he would have known what to do. 

Latest Activity

Alice Thompson commented on Pamela philipp's blog post Empty
"Good luck, Pamela :-) It is so hard to live among others when your inner life is so different from theirs. I think that after the first year I gave up expecting anyone to understand what is really going on for me. Sometimes I tell them anyway, but…"
5 hours ago
Teresa D. commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Karen, you saying your not helpful is very untrue.  I hate to say it but those ahead of me let me know I'm okay.  Those ahead keep me from feeling disappointed or like something is wrong with me because I'm not "moving…"
9 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I try to do that as well, Bluebell. I always want to be a son who makes my mom proud. I wish that I could somehow know that mom is still aware of me somehow. That she knows how much I miss her and love her. I just don't know if she does.…"
11 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am not there yet either Brett.It is so hard to be without her. But I keep putting one foot in front of the other, not to move away from her, but instead to live up to what I think she wanted me to be. Bluebell"
12 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

Empty

It's been 2 years since I lost my mother and my husband and I am still lost and still very much alone in my grief I haven't been on this site in a while I've been trying to get by every day it's not working too well I'm struggling really really hard my family is still not around I guess they think I am OK that I'm doing fine little do theyknow that I'm not they are coming to my house this Saturday for a cook out because it's something my mother wanted me to do that's the only reason I agreed to…See More
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"For sure my mom will always be a part of us. But there may come a day when I don't remember her voice or mannerisms as clearly as I do now. There may be a day that I have to look at a picture to remember exactly what she looked like. All of…"
23 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Exactly Bruce and M. Nothing is the same"
yesterday
Bruce Armstrong commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Take a trip would be great if you had that very special person to share it with-people just don't understand how much it takes away from you as a person"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This take a trip advice must be widespread -- I was so stunned to get repeated phone calls and letters from one aunt telling me to go on a cruise within a month of my husband's death. I guess my non response is why there were both letters and…"
yesterday
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bruce, it's just overwhelming at times.  This month is our anniversary, the anniversary of our first date (the most significant date to her), and the 3rd year since I lost her.  I have no one to talk to about any of this because my…"
yesterday
Bruce Armstrong commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"So lonely in the evening house is empty nobody here -been 3 months after 54 years with her I miss her and can't seem to stop crying need that companion and love close"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett I think they will always be a part of us."
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, right now my mom is so incredibly fresh in my mind. I do fear that the day will come when that is no longer the case. I don't want my memories to fade away. That is one of the issues that I have with, "letting go.""
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you said it perfectly"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is true that being anxious will not help anything. There are so many things in life that we just have no control over. This is certainly one of them. It's just so hard to stop having those feelings though. My stomach is tied in knots right…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, it will in time... I talked things through in my mind a lot and said to myself well I was anxious yesterday and the day before and it did not change anything, I did see my dr and took something for a few months and I am now weaning off of…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Prayers sent. God Bless you and give you strength and peace."
yesterday
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Today we moved everything out of Mom's apartment. It has uncovered a new layer of grief and I am utterly exhausted. My house and garage are in complete disarray with boxes everywhere. I feel so bogged down with things and things to to. I have…"
yesterday
Luisa Salter replied to Crystal K's discussion Its hard accepting my mother's death in the group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal I am so sorry. I lost my Mom on August 30th, and I understand this sense of coldness and feeling like a zombie. When people ask me how I am feeling, I tell them that I go back and forth between numb and devastated. It seems like I will cry…"
yesterday
Karen bentl posted a status
"Yes, I realize no one can actually hear me... I was just reaching out..."
Sunday

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service