MIchael Ortiz's Blog (5)

Nobody should do it alone.

After a year not a soul walk threw that door to help and I was in a very bad place. I now stand and sorry the excuses are hurtful. One year and I did it all. I was broken for many months. All I wanted was someone to hold me and just keep my mind straight. I have loss friends because I guess I never knew I was as strong as steel. I needed no one. They were wrong. Yes I ask for help.

Added by MIchael Ortiz on August 7, 2018 at 1:21pm — 3 Comments

Why I cannot be allowed to grieve,

I have been threw much and people who I thought be there all have gone but a few how are you doing. Its like they do not want a answer. Its me I am always so strong is there excuse. I am alone and her mostly side of the family is gone and only been 2 months. Yet was told I made my wife so happy from what she came from her last marriage. They never saw her so happy. I am so angry at issues that are going on and there petty and one is wrong. I sleep more and I just miss her. I have lost my…

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Added by MIchael Ortiz on August 24, 2017 at 1:29am — 1 Comment

BE CAREFUL.FAKE CONTACTS IN HERE.

I HAD SOMEONE TRYING TO CONTACT ME FROM GHANA.HER NAME IS KATE KWAME. I SAW HER ONLINE LAST NIGHT.I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. I AM GRIEVEING FOR MY WIFE AND THESE PEOPLE DO THIS. 

Added by MIchael Ortiz on August 12, 2017 at 4:13pm — 4 Comments

ANOTHER LONG NIGHT.

Since my wife past I cannot sleep. I lay in bed like she is still next to me. I miss her kiss goodnight and the one before she left for work.  I am broken inside and have no clue in how to repair me. As I wrote before I do this alone. Yes I am angry at people. I would never make false promises because I am a man of my word. She made me so happy. I wish I dream about her so I could see her. So many people fail me. So I guess I know there true colors. Its really sucks to find out this way…

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Added by MIchael Ortiz on August 12, 2017 at 3:23am — No Comments

My life has change and I cannot just smash my way out of pain.

I lost my wife Jodi on June 16th. At the time it was like any night but change quickly. Before I knew it I was back home alone cleaning up stuff left by the EMT`S. It then hit me. I was like this is a dream but my heart knew.I did not know I could cry like that. Then it began the start  answers that I could not be given truly and people just asking how over and over. I could not hear there words and did not know what to do next.I knew my wife wishes because we talk about it here and there.…

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Added by MIchael Ortiz on August 11, 2017 at 3:40am — No Comments

Groups

Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
6 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
13 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
18 hours ago
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted photos
yesterday
mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"I guess I'm doing ok I was in the middle of a family fued Christmas day night so I been keeping to myself I check out that site but don't have the money to pay for it I'm disabled"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well, Brett, one day we all shall see, I have many many questions, but no one to answer them. My heart still aches everyday, I still cry, but no one understands why, they have no clue...."
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Friday
Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
Thursday
Margaret Whitehouse joined mary snell's group
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hi

hi I recantly lost my mom two weeks ago I'm still missing her and I wish that i could of said good bye to her before said passed away See More
Thursday
Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
Wednesday
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i am…See More
Wednesday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lost
"Dear Lost, I've never been one who felt that money or job is most important either. There are so many things more important in life. One of those though is family. I would be lonely also if my family looked down on me and didn't talk to…"
Wednesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks M adams and Brett. Will wait for that time when I get over the guilt.  Starting my day with positive today. "
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I agree with M. I'm not one to give advice because I have not conquered those guilty feelings either. I have a feeling, and that is all I can go by, that one day we will grow tired of beating ourselves up, and that's when we will take…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, so good to hear that you can feel celebratory.  Engaging in life is important, it is something every parent wants for their child.  At the same time, I think in bereavement it’s hard to handle celebratory occasions because our…"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Just returned from a small trip in India only. Whenever I celebrate, I feel guilty. "
Tuesday

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