Sandra Nichols's Blog (7)

Crying

It is Monday morning and I am at work in my cubicle. Crying and can't stop. Finally, my sister has started crying after about 8 months from losing mom. It made me start crying because she is the one person left on this earth that I love unconditionally. It is all so sad. This life is so depressing. WHy in the world are we here? To go through grief that makes us so depressed that we can't function?  Life is just so sad and depressing, I can't think of anything good about it. I am not sucidal…

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Added by Sandra Nichols on July 23, 2012 at 9:30am — No Comments

Will this emptiness and depression lift from my life?

This has been such a lonely weekend for me. My mom has been gone now 7 months. I"m so sad and the deep depression does not get any better. I try to stay busy but, that doesn't help for 24 hours a day. I"m crying right now and I still feel angry at the cancer institute for the chemotherapy on my mom. I think that doctors don't worry about elderlyl and just give them the treatments without thinking of how fragile they are. I honestly don't know at this point,  how this world can become a good…

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Added by Sandra Nichols on July 1, 2012 at 5:40pm — 7 Comments

8:30 am monday

I had a panic attack and couldn't sleep Sunday night. I should have taken something to sleep but, didn't know it would keep on. I"m so sad today that I can't cry. Sunday was hard. I laid in bed and slept.

As bad as this is, I still don't think I"m facing the reality of you being gone, mom. I so wish you could communicate with me. 

Love,

Sandra

 

Added by Sandra Nichols on June 25, 2012 at 8:37am — No Comments

2:30 pm friday

Hi again mom,

I"m sitting here thinking about the weekend and torn between being glad I can be away from people and worried that I will have a panic attack while I stay in our house all alone.

I"m still praying that you are in a wonderful place, a place you deserve.

I"m still angry at the cancer doctors and think they should have made your treatments a lot less severe. Someday, I may forgive them, but right now I feel lots of anger.

I"m also angry at life in…

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Added by Sandra Nichols on June 22, 2012 at 2:23pm — 2 Comments

6:00 am friday morning

Hi mom,

I sat outside with the lovely flowers and the new hydrangea tree and thought of you mom and how much I love you. I know you would have enjoyed all of the new flowers and trees I've planted but I never seemed to have the time to plant them when you were here. I even laughed a little thinking of some of the fun times we had together... going shopping at WalMart or even going to your eye dr. and the weekend times of sitting on the porch.  The flowers i've planted are gorgeous and…

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Added by Sandra Nichols on June 22, 2012 at 10:02am — No Comments

grief support group needed?

How do you know if you need to go to a grief support group or get a counselor? I don't know what is normal. I barely get to work and then come home and take care of my dog. Sometimes call my sister. I prefer being alone and don't answer the phone unless it is from someone that also has huge losses. - My mom passed November 17, 2011.

Added by Sandra Nichols on January 9, 2012 at 6:59am — 1 Comment

Work

I am sitting here crying but, I have to go to work instead. I sometimes wonder if this happens to others and how they cope?

Added by Sandra Nichols on December 20, 2011 at 6:26am — 5 Comments

Groups

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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
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Wendy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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jacq kramer joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
yesterday
Marie Eaddy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
morgan left a comment for Mannion13
"Mannion, I dont always have a moment to write to those who post a death that has affected the very fiber of their being and mainly I do it with those who have lost their spouse since that is the death that has affected me the most.  But your…"
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Monday
morgan left a comment for Lani M.
"Lani, You have hit the nail we all wanted to miss.  Nothing can hurt this bad.  Nothing.  I could never have imagined I would be as devastated, and for as long, as I have been.  I have yet to be able to reconcile the anguish.…"
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Lani M. joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
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Joe Kelly left a comment for Lani M.
"Lani, I wish I could give some comforting advice, but I know it's going to be hard.  I lost my wife Jan. 21, 2018 to cancer. Join the "Lost My Spouse" group and read through some of the posts there.  We share our feelings of…"
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Lani M. left a comment for Lani M.
"How do I handle the holidays alone for the first time in 45 years?"
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Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Julie, my deepest condolences. My heart is with you. Hugs"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is the 2nd for me.  Last year I stayed home alone because my Love was always so involved with it every year at my daughters house.  Two years ago, we spent it alone together in the hospital.  Again, Catch 22 because whether…"
Nov 28
Fran commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda we share your pain here. It's been 5 years for me. I find myself increasingly pulling back, esp. at Holidays. I just wish family understood better that it's hard for us to celebrate anything. I don't wish this apathy on…"
Nov 28
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is the 7th year of not sharing Thanksgiving with my Husband. I will be spending it alone from now on. It is to hard to bear seeing everyone happy and I am tired of faking it."
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.See More
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