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Memorializing A Loved One With Time Rather Than Money

During the United States’ grim economic times, families have had to pinch pennies in many areas of their lives, especially when it comes to remembering a loved one that has passed. Funerals, like many other highlights in a person’s life, can cost families thousands of dollars. In reality, one does not need to spend a lot of money to memorialize and remember a loved one who is no longer with us. There are many options families can choose from to memorialize one who has passed that require little… Continue

Added by Valley of Life on November 4, 2009 at 4:29pm — No Comments

Bereavement At Any Age

Grief comes in many shades and colors. On average, each of the 2.5 million deaths every year in the United States directly affects four people, each of whom has a unique way of dealing with bereavement based on gender, culture, personality, and age.



Age makes a tremendous difference in how grief affects us. A teenager will deal with death much differently than a 70-year-old will. Understanding how grief manifests in people… Continue

Added by Valley of Life on November 4, 2009 at 4:27pm — No Comments

So angry, sad, confused, lost, stuck...

I recently (2 months or so ago) went through a breakup of a relationship of almost 2 years, and I am really having a hard time dealing with some of it.

I know it's not as final as a death, but I am still grieving, and I feel like total crap.



I don't have a lot of time to go and see traditional counselors, and sometimes I even feel like they have NO CLUE about what's going on with me because they are educated and trained to give advice, but it makes me wonder if they have EVER… Continue

Added by Leslie Taylor on October 29, 2009 at 11:01pm — 2 Comments

my ears have popped

For me grief has been something like this; you know when you're in an airplane or at a loud concert or club and your ears plug up so that everything outside of your own thoughts is muffled and garbled and ultimately it becomes too much effort to attempt to focus on anything outside yourself (maybe that part is just me - I'm both lazy and self absorbed)?



Then suddenly, out of the blue, your ears pop and unplug and you are hyper-sensitive to the slightest sound?



So I was all… Continue

Added by jenn murphy on October 19, 2009 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Times going too fast

When my dad died 7 months ago i didn't really allow myself to grieve properly and i just got back to work and going out with my friends, and drinking alot. now i look back and can't believe how much time has passed. I feel like i want to stop everything so that i don't get any further away from when it happened. I want to be able to break down and take some time to deal with this but i feel like i should have done it 7 months ago, and now the world around has moved on and it's like im not… Continue

Added by Benny Shipton on October 18, 2009 at 7:31pm — 2 Comments

this dream i keep having

my friend kathleen is haunting me in my dreams and its always the same dream. i am in port coquitlam, and she is there then i see her and call out kathleen kathleen, and then poof she disappears into thin air. i miss her so much its been almost two years now and i wish i she could come back to life. is she trying to tell me something, and why is the dream always the same?

Added by donna henderson on October 9, 2009 at 10:42pm — 1 Comment

email from my sister Carolyn requesting Prayer

Hi Melanie, Diana and Mom,



I want to share some news with you, because I know extra prayers can be powerful. Joshua lost a co-worker/friend this week. His friend, Andy, was on his way home from work Monday, and just innocently stopped at a stop sign waiting on traffic. Apparently a semi driver failed to heed his stop sign, and swerved, attempting to miss a car that was in the intersection with the right of way. This caused the semi trailer to tip over onto Andy's car, crushing it.… Continue

Added by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on October 8, 2009 at 9:37am — No Comments

I Miss Her So Much

My best friend in the whole world passed away unexpectedly 2wks ago. I miss her so much. Dealing with it is difficult. I have gotten sick and am now having to deal with this plus missing her. She was like a sister to me. We had known eachother since second grade, almost 50 yrs. Is there anyone else out there that can relate to my feelings? I lost others close to me, but this is very different.

Added by Kathryn Rolland on October 7, 2009 at 4:02pm — 1 Comment

Billy Graham

Sometimes religious emails are better than some of the funny ones we get and pass on....



Priceless .



Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his Plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home.



As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.



'You know' he said, 'I am 87 years old and I have never

Driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a… Continue

Added by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on October 6, 2009 at 4:37pm — No Comments

I am at the point these last few days where I can rationally work through the reality that my mother is gone. When I focus on that idea I can work it through to it's logical end and accept that all …

I am at the point these last few days where I can rationally work through the reality that my mother is gone.



When I focus on that idea I can work it through to it's logical end and accept that all we have are our memories of Her. Luckily for us those memories are so full of Her incredible, indestructible spirit that they will not easily be lost.



And then I lie in bed and close my eyes.



That's when the instinctual part of my brain makes itself heard and… Continue

Added by jenn murphy on October 6, 2009 at 2:30pm — No Comments

After being awake for a few hours today I suddenly thought, huh! I haven't thought about Mom once yet today. I almost began to panic (if you'll recall the grief I alluded to experiencing yesterday) b…

After being awake for a few hours today I suddenly thought, huh! I haven't thought about Mom once yet today. I almost began to panic (if you'll recall the grief I alluded to experiencing yesterday) but I almost suddenly realized that I was wrong.



The thing is, I hadn't experienced any of the sudden, overwhelming, excruciating memories of my mother that has the power to contort my body, mind, my spirit and leave me huddled on the floor curled into myself and trying to ward off the… Continue

Added by jenn murphy on October 2, 2009 at 2:30pm — No Comments

I find myself focusing very hard on stemming the random flow of tears these days; not out of any sense of crying as weakness or a need to put up any kind of front of strength. I am perfectly comforta…

I find myself focusing very hard on stemming the random flow of tears these days; not out of any sense of crying as weakness or a need to put up any kind of front of strength. I am perfectly comfortable feeling weak and giving in to said weakness, either while I'm alone or surrounded by any number of relative strangers.



Ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you that I am capable of bursting into tears while describing an especially moving long distance commercial.



These… Continue

Added by jenn murphy on October 1, 2009 at 2:30pm — No Comments

tears not acceptance

I find myself focusing very hard on stemming the random flow of tears these days; not out of any sense of crying as weakness or a need to put up any kind of front of strength. I am perfectly comfortable feeling weak and giving in to said weakness, either while I'm alone or surrounded by any number of relative strangers.



Ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you that I am capable of bursting into tears while describing an especially moving long distance commercial.



These… Continue

Added by jenn murphy on September 28, 2009 at 2:30pm — No Comments

Let me be sad

Let me be sad,
Don't try to change the subject,

Comfort would be nice,
but don't try to change the subject.

My tears are warm and soothing and healing.
What a relief! it is to cry
without judgement or intervening

but some comfort, from a world that ignores sadness and suffering,
would be really nice.

Added by Kate on September 26, 2009 at 10:59am — 1 Comment

newbie

Hi all, I'm a newbie to this group

I lost my dad in january this year, then my great Aunt and then my stepdad all in the space of a few weeks.

I'm still working my way through all sorts of emotions.

Anxiety, stress, lonliness, depression, anger - wow I've never expressed my anger until now, I've started punching my bed and beating up cardboard boxes.

Lots of past issues are rearing their heads - I've realised my relationship with my mother is no where near what I was telling… Continue

Added by Kate on September 23, 2009 at 10:31pm — 1 Comment

Still can't believe she is gone

Today as i drove home i repeated the phrase my sister is dead my sister is dead. I still can't belive that i will never see her again on Earth, that i will never every get to talk to her again on Earth. i don't understand how to not miss her. i need her! i really do not have any one to talk to my husband does not understand and my mom and dad are griving too. my best frined is gone/dead. who can i call and tell all my dumb stuff to? you will listen or what to listen? i am lost and i need to… Continue

Added by Jason Morgan on September 22, 2009 at 8:41pm — No Comments

the greatest loss of my life

i hope i can find some hope to go on with others who have also loved there bueatiful sons and dauthers. i dont kow how to use this computer at all it was given me for this reason so i could talk to othrs like me i hope it works with you all it takes me a long time to type and sometimes i lose the pages i am trying so please help to not lose me if you can i really need to talk about my son about his name nathan about his wonderful sense of humor he could always make me laugh even when i was mad… Continue

Added by jackie steinbock on September 21, 2009 at 4:50pm — 3 Comments

63 days

Yesterday marked two months, or more precisely, 63 days since my mother passed. Where am I now?



While logic has never played a huge role in my life; I've never really grasped the need for it, it seems so complicated, so unnecessary; I have always enjoyed analyzing and attempting to quantify my emotional state.



Yes, I am a weirdo. Let me state for the record that I am completely comfortable with and in fact not a little proud of that.



So, in the spirit of… Continue

Added by jenn murphy on September 15, 2009 at 2:30pm — No Comments

annoying things people say..

i know there is one of these in the i miss my son or daughter forum but i wanted to write a few that have really p****d me off



The worst is the people who say it will be hard but you will get over it eventually

- no, you dont "get over it" you learn to live with it a little. i dont even want to get over it.



Some people have said "at least he didn't have to grow old"

- What? Because that's a bad thing?



the past tense.

- it annoys me how easily… Continue

Added by Benny Shipton on September 14, 2009 at 11:08am — 7 Comments

Personal Statements from 9/11 Survivors, Families, First Responders

Support NYCCAN

http://nyccan.org/



Donna Marsh O’Connor, Mother of Vanessa Lang Langer



As the world moves further and further away from the actual events of 9/11/2001 both in time and spirit, and as 9/11 effaces into yet another simple story cast in history, as the parent of Vanessa Lang Langer lost as the towers fell, I want to let it go. I want to stop talking about… Continue

Added by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on September 12, 2009 at 9:27pm — 4 Comments

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Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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