Today driving down the highway I heard the song "I can only Imagine". I cried with the deepest of yearning to talk to my sons and hold them just once more. Reality set in and I thought wow! I can only imagine when that day comes will I be able to once again hold my sons in my arms and will they know me.I then ask myself "will I really go to heaven, is there really a heaven. Why cant I know now.

There were no rules given to me when my mother passed away. In one way, I was just tossed into life and expected to adapt without asking any questions. If I asked questions I was turned away or shut out because no one had the answers.

Even now no one knows how to respond to me...

I will confess that I am tired of fighting. I'm tired of smiling all the time. I'm tired of pretending…

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When my mother passed I hid inside of myself. I wrote endless short stories, novels. I have several poetry books. My grandmother and aunt have done a good job raising me, but there is nothing like having the comfort of your own mother. A woman that knows every part of you. A woman that will always count you first. I was my mother first born. I have a younger sister but she was too little to remember our mother much. I have tried to keep our mothers image in her head as much as…

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Our story begins on June 27 2004, that is when we received the most heartbreaking, devastating and overwhelming news any parent could ever receive, that one of their children has died. Our son Billy was killed instantly while riding his ATV at night hitting a tree. In the days and weeks after our loss of our son Billy, one of my most overwhelming needs was to find a way to make a connection with Billy in heaven, not knowing if it even was possible. I was going to find a way no…

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my mom is gone that adopted me when i was only 2 days old she was and still is a very special lady sad miss breast cancer took her life but one thing i know for sure she went to heaven she die with a smile on her face thank god but there is some days that are really hard to get though.
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I lost my son on August 23 to Lynphoma cancer that had turned to Lukemia. He looked fine, he was relatively healthy but within a week he had died. He had lived with me on and off for the past three years (since he was diagnosed) and I was with him until the end. I had to tell the doctors to turn off the machines. My daughter, I have two children, was my rock. Thank God for my daughter or I wouldn't have been able to get through it. I am still in deniial I think. Most of the time I can't believe… Continue

I happened to get an email update from the online grief site last week. I have suffered a lot of traumatic loss, the worst being the loss of my Mom (who was my best friend) almost three years ago to cancer. Well, I was just surfing around this site when I came across the 'after death communication' blog. I read the blog, and I thought to myself...."If Mom were to come and let me know she was here, she would be a butterfly". That was that. Well, I left the next day for vacation with my…

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