May 2013 Blog Posts (21)

Wished my dad was there

I recently got married to my fiancee of 2 years....about 2 weeks ago or so now...and it was a very lovely wedding, my mother was there which made me very happy, but the whole time I wished my dad was there to see me and give me away. I like to feel like he was. I love you papa. <3

Added by Becky H on May 30, 2013 at 12:01pm — No Comments

Thank you Brenda

Thank you for the hugs and prayers. I don't know how to message you back. It says you have blocked it.

Added by Bonnie Jacobs on May 30, 2013 at 11:56am — No Comments

stange dreams of a hero

i had a strange dream abot my dad he woz a super hero i no its a kind of thng kids dream of he com bac to save live but i wud not let go sayng i lost u onse i dont wont to loze u again 

but he saed he woz not gong any wear he woz hear to stay

wen i woke up it felt so real like it realyy hapend it did i no dreams feal real…

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Added by dream moon JO B on May 28, 2013 at 3:29pm — No Comments

Memorial Day

Well here it is. Memorial Day. Comes every year the same time The difference is this year my heart is as dark and lonely as the ocean in the middle of a moonless night. The clouds are dark and they remind me of how hard people try to overcome the devastating loss of someone they love more than life itself. It will pass they say. It will get better I have heard a million times. I have said those same words myself a million times. They do get better, but for how long? Just long enough to start…

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Added by anne on May 27, 2013 at 11:30pm — 1 Comment

Not doing good

I lost my husband on April 26th, exactly 1 week later my father passed away.  Today was a very tough day being Memorial Day.  I lost my mother 6 years ago and its still hard on me.  We were very close and i miss her very much.  Now i miss them all everyday.  My husband and I usually did a lot of planting on this long weekend, While my father sat on the deck and watched us. This year it was just me, so I decided to make a memorial garden for them. It felt right to do something like that. .

Added by Jamie L. Paulk on May 27, 2013 at 11:22pm — No Comments

Falling apart

I'm just realizing how badly my sister's death has affected me. I feel like I'm spiraling out of control and I can't stop myself.

I thought I was being really strong and doing a great job of holding myself together but I couldn't have been more wrong. There has been a perfect storm brewing inside me since I got that phone call and I'm only now seeing it.

I started smoking again (I had quit last April cold turkey and was doing so well), my drinking has increased a lot, I'm…

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Added by Christine Leakey on May 23, 2013 at 1:22pm — 1 Comment

Going on our first vacation tomorrow since my 3 year old granddaughter Olivia passed....

I dont know how I am going to make it through it.........she was supposed to be there.............all I am doing is crying and wanting her back & missing her so much...........this is just wrong, she wasnt supposed to go before us or her parents........I dont know how I am going on everyday, other than the crying for the last 6 weeks, and looking forward to sleep..... :(

Added by Patricia Hoffman on May 22, 2013 at 1:09pm — 1 Comment

Such sadness

Up all night,now making phone calls way too early.  I live on the west coast of Canada, a sister in Alberta, one in Ontario, one in New Brunswick.  All different time zones so by the time we got the news here it was too late to call any of them last night.  Morning comes 4 hours earlier in New Brunswick than here so I started there and moved westward telling each one after the other that our brother is dying.  2 days maybe more if the antibiotics stop his kidneys shutting down temporarily. …

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Added by anna l. on May 22, 2013 at 9:41am — 3 Comments

Grief a year later

My wife died last year in May she got so bad in the hospital and would have lived a miserable life after what the hospital did to her that I had the breathing tube removed .For a whole year I was numb to the fact she passed away. In the past few months memories of her dying in the hospital come flooding back,with an increase in weight from eating the wrong food. I find I loved her a lot, but during the marriage it can be described as dysfuctional as well as two people caring for each other.…

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Added by David H on May 18, 2013 at 11:27pm — 1 Comment

Help

My mom died two months ago and my girlfriend moved away after ten years that we were together. She was not happy and moved out 3 weeks later. After ten years. I miss my mom and my ex. The only family I have is my brother ho is ill and live sin NYC. I feel so alone please mail me i need support

Added by Linda sorge on May 17, 2013 at 3:54pm — No Comments

it bugs me

it realey anoys me wen i go to funrellss wen peple dont switch off threr cell fones it dose thy cud least switch it off for a bit

i woz at a funrell yday a few plele wear leting thr fones ring thy cud easy turn it off for a bit

i neaded to screame an shout abot it

Added by dream moon JO B on May 17, 2013 at 3:51pm — No Comments

Happy Mothers' Day, Mama...

Mommy! 

Happy Mothers' Day. I miss you so much today. The sadness I am feeling lately has even taken over me physically. I find it difficult to eat, sleep, and socialize. I really just wanna break down and cry today but for some reason I just won't let myself. I don't wanna feel helpless and in pain. So I have been trying to escape my emotions with drinking and smoking. I know you wouldn't be happy about this. You must be very…

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Added by Clara George on May 12, 2013 at 5:06pm — No Comments

am i seaning thngs

dose any 1 else go in to a room adn thnk thy hav saw ther lovd 1s siting it the table in the kitchn reding a paper  or go in to th livin room or sea thm watchng tv

or sea thm warking arond th house tht u get uo to go folor thm coz u thng u r gong krazy…

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Added by dream moon JO B on May 12, 2013 at 3:56pm — No Comments

Never Forget

Before life happens and memory fails,

pieces of you here I'll state.

To you, the beauty that bore me life,

I'll never forget, you'll never fade.

- she calls me precious

- she loves Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust Pizza and made it our staple celebration treat for birthdays, anniversaries etc.

- she adored Barbara Streisand

- she had a crush on Robert Redford

- her best love advice is: Be with a guy that would treat you like a princess…

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Added by Ericka on May 12, 2013 at 10:02am — 1 Comment

Right now

I am ready to give up. I miss my family and with mother's day tomorrow, it will be hard on my mom for it will be 2 months since her mom, my grandmother passed away. All I want for mother's day is to be with my kids and my mom. I have not seen my mom in 4 years cause I can't afford to go home and if i even talk about my family I get yelled at. I am in a bad relationship, I thought I was ready but know that I am not for I still miss my husband. But this person I am with is very controlling. I…

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Added by Peggy Keller on May 11, 2013 at 6:21pm — No Comments

Depression

I have been depressed all through this process since my daughter, Sara, first was in a coma.  Now that she has passed I haven't been feeling much of anything. I am starting to go into a deep depression and wanting to get out.  I feel darkness looming all of the time.  This just started a few day ago.  Her memorial isn't for another week but I feel I shouldn't feel this depressed as I have gone through all of the stages of mourning in the past 4 months since the coma insued. I thought I was…

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Added by Bonnie Jacobs on May 10, 2013 at 12:22pm — 7 Comments

Closure after 30 yearsd

On May 4th of this year, it was the 30th anniversary of my dad's passing. I lost him when I was a  rebellious, vulnerable individual, lost somewhere between child and adulthood. He'd been sick with a very aggressive form of cancer. He did not tell me. When I look back now, the signs were there, but he did put on a good front. I can't imagine what his wife went through, knowing this, but not letting on to his kids.

I remember going to my apartment and a neighbor saying that the…

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Added by trish on May 10, 2013 at 8:47am — No Comments

Feelings and thinking

It all started back on March  8, 2009, when my husband passed away and I found him. He and our daughter had just gotten in early that morning from a trip to NY to deliver a travel trailer for work. Our daughter and grand-daughter who was only 1 month and 2 days old were still sleeping. My husband, Gene and I were up talking and spending time together before he had to leave later in the evening for another trip out west. We had talked and loved on each other and then he went out to work on…

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Added by Peggy Keller on May 7, 2013 at 1:56pm — No Comments

mothers day

 

this wil be the 1st holiday without my son. it will be 2 month on the14 that he passed away. It has already started to hurt. it will also be 30 yrs since my mom died. i'm always  alone on holidays and it just make i  t worse this yr. I feel like im so alone. None of my family has lost a child an they don't understand the pain that i'm going through. it just doesn't go away over night. my other son isdoing the man thing where they try and be  stong and do not want to talk about…

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Added by Barbara Palko on May 6, 2013 at 11:14am — No Comments

Away from you.

Mom, I have been reading about life and death. I know that we are supposed to be much more that our bodies, that death means to leave the body and cross to that place, where we see our true selves and are able to understand things much more clearly than we could here on Earth.

 So, I know that you are there, somewhere. But I can't reach you. I can't feel you. I don't know if you hear me when I call you. I'm still in this world and I don't understand. At some point I'll join you, and…

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Added by Melisa C on May 3, 2013 at 6:58am — No Comments

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It was not supposed to be like this

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Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

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