I had a conversation right after a posting that I put on Facebook referencing Jen (and since deleted) with a friend.  They made a comment about the possibility of a 'spirit' being trapped in limbo if the griever does not release them (get through the grief).  The comment has been rattling around in my brain for a couple months, and not in a good way.  It hurt.  It angered me.  The message received by me was that I was harming (trapping at least) her spirit by still being grief…

I thought I was done. Recovery in process. Moving on...But the Tilt-A-Whirl does not stop. Or maybe it is more accurate to say that my mind does not let it stop.

I was not sure if my mic would work on here

I lost my mum today I did

Now the numbness is setting in again

I think I must have been on autopilot all day no it's starting to sit in and kick in again like I did 9 year ago

Things are just resonating with me today, I guess, and I'm actually in a place where I can write my thoughts. I read this one just a bit ago... "Feelings of grief recede, but feelings of loss remain ever-present."

Another one that hits home as I define what this journey is that I'm on. It seems to more accurately describe how I have felt all along. As I was a 2-year old when my Mother died 42-plus years ago, I don't think I could have had the capacity to consciously grieve.…

I just read something that I hope will stick with me for some time to come.

"Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried."

I am not sure why right now, but that seems to resonate with me. I have carried grief with me my entire life, and I feel like for the longest time I was hoping I'd wake up one day and realize the shroud of grief hanging on my shoulders was finally gone. That day still has not come. However, maybe it is not realistic to expect that…