i am a wife and mother of three.I am a stay at home mother,wife.
About my Loss:
My very best friend, William, died Oct 15, 2015. He was the closest person to me. We did everything together and shared all our fears, dreams and secrets. He was there to raise my kids with me. We met ten years ago. I was a single parent then and he was a huge part of my life. I had nothing then and no one except him and my kids. When I met my husband Henry and we got married, William became a huge part of our whole family. William had no one prior either. His family disowned him long ago so I was all he had also. My husband and William were very good friends and my kids thought of him like family. To me he was my brother, best friend and soul mate. He was like the rest of me. He died of liver disease (he had a very hard life and was a drinker) I have spent ten years taking care of him and he did for me also. Now he's gone and I find myself questioning god and after life and pretty much everything. I feel very suicidal because i just want to go wherever he is but feel so guilty because I know my family needs me too. I am finding it increasingly harder and harder to function day to day. Tears are always just behind my eyes to the point of swelling and falling but I keep trying to hide this and seem "ok" for everyone else. The rest of my family is busy with school and work and carry on and I think that's what they want me to do also. Hard for me to do when every other minute i'm in pain. I have been through a lot of things and have had to overcome many obsticles. This is by far the hardest. I feel very broken and lost.
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God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her. Like yesterday, I found a small 3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me.
Joe, So true. That's exactly why I post here too. I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone. That consoles…"
I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all. Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
I saw your post late late last night. I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing. After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.
Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me. The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it. All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
"Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife. I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day. Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
"That is horrific for you. Im so sorry. Just know yoy aren't alone. Know we dont think you are some kind of monster and know that we validate what you guys had and the love that existed there. Try not to fixate on the particulars that you have…"
The only comfort I can possibly provide is that your mother and father are blissfully reunited eternally in spirit. I lost my wife to cancer over 18 months ago. We were together since age 16 and would had celebrated our 50th…"