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About my Loss:
I lost my mom. A few months ago. Tried a grief group but I was only one that had been recently...I am still very lost and out there. Need to express!

Mj's Blog

time?

So its been 1 year 2 months and 10 days...do I count? yes Time does help at times, other moments and places it hasn't made a difference, I still cry sometimes in church.

Time a healing factor? Not in my eyes for anyone that experiences a loss its all about how you handle grief. For one time may help, for another a remembrance may help, for another depression, for another family...

My thoughts and Pryers are with everyone that has experienced a loss..handle it your way, not what…

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Posted on March 7, 2016 at 11:48am

now what!

So time still isn't helping I know its been not quite 3 months but the days are long the nights are long, I'm still crying all the time. And now what....three days ago my dad was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia..he keeps telling me he is tired, tired all the time.I know he is missing mom although he doesn't cry like me, I know deep in my heart he is heartbroken. .nothing is the same he doesnt like to do alot of the things he did before mom went to heaven..I won't be able to handle…

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Posted on March 23, 2015 at 1:06pm — 1 Comment

so lost and alone

So I really can't stand it when people keep telling me you will be OK. How do they know I'll be OK? 

They aren't with me 24 hours a day 7 days a week. They dont see me cry, or how many times I cry. They don't see the little things that may mean so little to someone how much they mean to me, such as cooking in a pan my mom used when I was growing up, or the thought of going to church and her not being thee, or the ten times she would call me in a matter of four hours and her not…

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Posted on February 25, 2015 at 3:10pm

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At 7:30pm on February 25, 2015, Roger said…
Hi MJ, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dear Mom too. July 22, 2014. I am a only child. I also work at my families business for most of my life along with my mom. She was so much a part of my life. For so many years. I miss her so much. I miss our talks. She was smart. I could talk over my problems with her. She could calm me. Make everything all right. I miss seeing her. She loved flowers. Knew all the names of the different plants in her yard. I can just see her now. Out there on her knees. With this little hand spade working in her flower beds. Its so very sad. I always knew that my Mom would have to leave me one day. But it's been harder than I ever imagined. I also lost my wife to cancer in 2013. She was just as sweet and wonderful as my Mom. I am finding it impossible to cope with this. It's just so hard. I really am still so lost. Just a head full of memeroiers like to one you described about cooking in your Moms pan. You are right about people. They don't know what to say to you. You will find a lot of them that avoid you. Its uncomfortable for them. I just say, I am doing Okay. Even though I am not. Its only been a few months for you. I can relate to what you are feeling. I had a terrible time. When my wife died. Even though it was expected. It devastated me way beyond anything I had imaged. Affecting my health. Couldn't sleep. Looking at pictures. Smelling her perfume. Crying all the time. One day while driving I almost fell asleep. Scared me pretty bad. Went to the Dr. He prescribed me some sleeping pills. They probably saved my life and the lives of others too. So we have to try and take care of ourselves. Don't be afraid to ask for help. This is a great forum. There are people here that are enduring the loss of their precious loved ones just like us. You can say what you feel. Know that others that read it understand. While its true. Everyone's grives different. Pain is pain. Knowing that you aren't alone is comforting somehow. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
 
 

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