kim
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  • peterborough ont
  • Canada
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kim posted a status
"happy birthday my son, I pray you are in moms arms, im so empty and broken with out you. I love you so much always and forever mom"
Apr 5
kim posted a status
"my beautiful son, its x mas again, ill be with you soon I promise, I love you forever mom"
Dec 14, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
im a mother of one beautiful son, hes everything to me. im married, my life is my son (SHAWN) now im in unbearable pain everyday.i pray every night for him to come get me, take me from this hell I live in.
About my Loss:
I lost my beautiful son in nov, I feel so alone, heart broken and just want to die to be with him, I cry all the time and everyday I go see him . , without him I have nothing to live for, hes the love of my life forever. nothing will ever be the same again, shawn and I did a lot together.hes so funny and made me laugh. he has big beautiful brown eyes, and dimples. he will always been my angel.

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Kim's Blog

birthday

another year without you, today is your birthday, I feel so empty without you, my beautiful son how I miss you, I cry everyday, I pray everyday to be with you. I now mom will give you a wonderfull party, but I want nothing more than to die.  have a beautifull birthday to my special son, I love you always and forever   mom .

Posted on April 5, 2017 at 6:22am

my baby

 shawn I miss you so bad, I cry all the time, my depression is worse, god how I pray every night to die, to hold you again.   I love you always and forever   mom

Posted on February 25, 2017 at 9:39am

my beautiful shawn

the holidays are so close, and I hate them so much any more. I pray every night to go with you, shawn im so broken, theres not a day or night I don't cry, and ask god why he took my son, my baby. and why he has not come for me. I know you are here with me, I feel you every day, but I need so much to hold you, please baby come for me, I cant live with this unbearable pain , I don't want to live, please help me to die,  im so lonely,  I love you always and forever, you are the love of my…

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Posted on December 15, 2016 at 7:06am — 2 Comments

my sweet shawn

how can it be 3 years today, it feels like yesterday. my tears still fall everyday. I love and miss you so very much. I need you  shawn I always have. im so dead inside, so empty and dark. my life is over, im waiting for you to come get me, please hurry I cant go on much longer. always and forever   mom

Posted on November 5, 2016 at 9:40am — 2 Comments

Comment Wall (26 comments)

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At 1:49am on January 17, 2016, Troy Willis said…

Here is some information to get you started. I found it very interesting and could possibly be helpful. Im going to do mine in California with a Sharman. Im just waiting on him to return from Costa Rico. https://www.aubreymarcus.com/ayahuasca-vs-iboga/

At 1:55pm on December 20, 2015, Kila said…
God bless you but ur son is always with u in ur heart u carry him everywhere with u xxx
At 8:28pm on December 16, 2015, kim said…

charlotte, thank you so much, your letter made me cry.  I do talk to shawn everyday, I go see him everyday to.   hes the love of my life always and forever.  please believe me I do try so hard  not to let him know how much im hurting but I just cant stop crying all the time.  I know he knows im in pain , he knows im so alone and have lost my family and friends,  he knows I only need him.  I wish with all my heart I was with him now.  this stupid holiday coming is killing me.  I pray dec will go fast get it over with.  everyone so happy, with there trees up and lights, oh god I wish I could  rip them down.  my dr says im very depressed, and suicidle. I just want to be with my son,  I can see his face, his tears, my heart just cant do this. I know my baby needs me as much as I need him, I just want to die my only wish,  why wont god let me be with my son? why  does he not hear me?  I want to hold my shawn now.  thank you my friends hugs to you all, I to am praying for you all. 

At 7:45pm on December 16, 2015, Charlotte Finklea said…
Hello Kim. I pray you are feeling a little better. Try very hard not to feed into your sorrow. I truly believe your son as well as mine are able to do some things now that they weren't able to do before. Shawn can see and hear you. Try to be as calm for him as you can. keep thinking of his wonderful smile. How wonderful the color of his eye were. I thing my son has a special glow to his face now because there are no more worries, no stress of any kind. The happiness and contentment that Shawn is experiencing now, has to be so wonderful, something we have no comprehension of. Show your love for him Kim not your anguish. Shawn is still your son, that will never change. You Kim will always be his Mom. No one can take that away from you. Lift you face to the sun and speak to him. Include him in your daily activities.
He hears you. I'm sure he wants to know that you and his Dad are okay.
I will pray for you. Your friend, Charlotte
At 12:04am on December 1, 2015, Charlotte Finklea said…
Hello Sweetheart, thank you so much for your message. Please try to hold on. I know how difficult it is. There is someone in your life that is hurting as well... Your husband. A mans heart can break as well as a woman's. We seem to forget that. Women have a wonderful gift when thing go wrong, we can cry our hearts out freely. Men have always been taught to be strong. if we're honest that is how we also raise our own sons. They have hearts also and if we pay close attention there are tears. You have disregarded his pain. Please walk into your husbands arms Kim. The love he has for you is still there. neither you or he can do anything for your son now because he resides with God. unlike me you have built in support. My husband passed away eight years ago. Your son had two parents. if our sons could see us, your being upset maybe upsetting to him. I thought about that one day when I was crying so uncontrollably. I tried very hard to stop my tears because I didn't want my son upset worrying about me. My closeness with my son Scott meant so much to me, but now I have to find a way to live without him until God calls me home. Try to be stronger for Shawn. When the time is right you will join him with no effort on your part. Your friend Charlotte
At 5:24pm on November 30, 2015, Charlotte Finklea said…
Hello Kim. Forgive me for intruding. I truly know how you feel. I have also lost a son, just this past January. It hurts so terribly. I also have thought of not wanting to be here anymore. Autopsy revealed nothing. Toxicology revealed nothing. I have no closure, that hurts most of all. I don't understand any of it. My son, visited me last Christmas. Nineteen days later he was gone. There are no answers. I thought about group therapy, talking to my priest, going to a Dr. But I don't think any of that will help me. I do believe in God, Jesus and the Blessed Mother, they are who I talk to. believe it or not I feel better after talking to them. They are the only ones that can truly help now. I realize what works for one doesn't always work for others but what harm could it do. everyone offers sympathy. God won't give you that but he will help you to carry this burden. I know you love your son. Hold all of your memories of him close to your heart. Talk to him as much as you can, this helps also. Please take care of yourself. I'm sure it would mean a great deal to him to know you're alright. Please stay well. Charlotte
At 4:48pm on March 19, 2015, Rj said…
I just lost the love of my life, my only child, my heart, my soul, my being, my son, larry. 27. Feb 1st. Oh how i feel the way you do Kim.
At 3:13am on January 24, 2015, Lost & Alone said…

Amen Kathryn this is whole site is a bad place to be only because we had to loose someone to be here.....

The people who are here though are some of the most generous of souls... Sorry to know why you are here, but glad to know you

God Bless you in your Sorrow

 

At 3:10am on January 24, 2015, Lost & Alone said…

I am so sorry that your family has fallen apart, I whish that you  were a part of my family, cause we would help you any way we can. (My sisters would smother you with stories and hugs and kisses) I wish I could tell  you a magical way to make your family see what you need, and help them see that you need them to help you grieve.

I still stand by my very short view that maby your husband is the only one you need to grieve with you, the way he stood up to your family makes me believe that he is the strength you need to hold on to with both hands, in a way you are holding part of Shawn, cause half of him came from your husband....(Probly the irritating half) ... But the only one who knows exactly how you feel would be him, he is Shawn father just as much as you are his mother..

Lots of love and hugs and kisses

My you feel the love and concern from all of us... We do understand..... We do care.... And any talking you want to do,,,, HERE is the place......We are here to support each other..... Feel free to tell us anything you want or need to tell us.....

God Bless

At 3:26pm on December 13, 2014, Britt said…

I feel like I can empathize with you. The pain does not get better just worse. Sending hugs of comfort from one mother to another. xxxxxxxx

 
 
 

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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Joe for your posts. In a weird way it gives me a lift.  How?  Because I know that I am not making up how hard this suffering is.   My closest friend and sibling also know how I feel about dying and I know I would not have to…"
4 hours ago
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"joe that is incredible. thanks for the time and energy sharing. i think ill look at some of your suggestions and see what will work for me. for me this week has been hard. 1 week until first anniversary of her death, i don't know what to…"
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joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Read second post first Morgan. Had to break it up into two parts and did it backwards."
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joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
""As the years are passing I feel the need more and more." When I read some of you guys suffering so long, it gives me great fear that despite my health neglect, and legal preparations, I don't know when it will actually come to…"
7 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, "I read your words and it brings me to my knees."  I keep asking God to let me go many times a day.  I tell Him/Her/It that I will never relent until my prayer is answered.  I ask my love to keep asking too and have…"
7 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Bluebird for nice comment about my Julian. He was so caring and was my rock. Being with him for 24/7 for 13 years of our retirement was bliss, I thank God for this time together.  Morgan & Joe I keep believing there is eternal love…"
11 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I read your words and it brings me to my knees.  I so want to join my husband.  As the years are passing I feel the need more and more.  I am not sure I understand totally how your OBE has given you more faith that somehow we…"
12 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, you are grieving for your mother. You may not be able to see it but I can. My father was horrible. I did not grieve his death. I barely gave it a second thought. You are grieving your mom, and you are grieving the way things were. The advice…"
12 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, Your Julian looks like such a nice man in that photo; what a lovely smile! Joe, Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you are right."
15 hours ago
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I lost my mother on 9-6-15 eight days before I lost my husband on 9-14-15 and I feel horrible because I am struggling with how I am grieving for my mother because we had a very strained relationship because my mother was an alcoholic all her life…"
15 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Bluebird, It is impossible for us to know for absolutely sure what exactly happens when we die.  Oh, how I would love her to appear before me and tell me she's here and waiting for me, but I also know that she can't do that…"
17 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Bluebird, I am so glad that the folks on this forum feel the same way I do. Society is always trying to label people, if we don't agree with them they think we are weird or crazy. My sweet Husband Julian taught me to ignore what other people…"
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bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Sorry, I meant Linda and Monty and Joe."
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bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I fully agree with you both, Linda and Monty. My deep and abiding grief is the only response I could possibly have to my husband's death. My soulmate was torn from me, and I don't know if his wonderful soul still exists, or if I will ever…"
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Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Avi, it would be nice to have a friend. The time gap is big but we can agree on a time to talk. Keeping busy also functions for me. Anyways, as soon as I have free time the thoughts and feelings came back and grief hits so hard. I wish you have a…"
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Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M Adams , I hope this feeling of desolation lessens in time. It is an extremely hard process. Unbearable at times. I hope you are doing well."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Daylight India is 8.30 hours ahead of Argentina. We can talk at your early morning whenever you want.  Feeling of desolation still exists for me but I try to be strong and do things (work, travel, eating etc) with sincerity. "
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agreed, Daylight.  I often think about how appalled my mom and my husband would be by my current state.  But I would say that the feeling of total desolation will change, based on my experience with my husband’s death, thirty months…"
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