kim
  • Female
  • peterborough ont
  • Canada
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kim posted a status
"my beautiful son, its x mas again, ill be with you soon I promise, I love you forever mom"
Dec 14, 2017
kim posted a blog post

birthday

another year without you, today is your birthday, I feel so empty without you, my beautiful son how I miss you, I cry everyday, I pray everyday to be with you. I now mom will give you a wonderfull party, but I want nothing more than to die.  have a beautifull birthday to my special son, I love you always and forever   mom .See More
Apr 5, 2017
kim commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Catherine, I to lost my only child my son in 2014. im not doing good, I pray to die everyday. theres no life with out my son for me.  shawn is the love of my life.  my depression is getting worse, my loneliness emptiness.  im so very…"
Mar 23, 2017
kim posted a blog post

my baby

 shawn I miss you so bad, I cry all the time, my depression is worse, god how I pray every night to die, to hold you again.   I love you always and forever   momSee More
Feb 25, 2017
Stephanie Mason and kim are now friends
Jan 7, 2017
kim left a comment for Stephanie Mason
"Stephanie, im so very very sorry.  please except me as a friend so we can talk ok    kim"
Jan 7, 2017
kim posted a blog post

my son,

shawn please come get me, take me from this hell I now live in, this deep dark hole I cant get out of, without you theres nothing left, im so empty, lonely. I need to hold you, I need to hear your voice, I love you always and forever,   momSee More
Oct 3, 2016
kim updated their profile
Oct 3, 2016
kim posted a status
"please shawn, I need your help, I cant do this anymore"
Aug 1, 2016
kim posted a blog post

a life time

shawn my beautiful son, it feels like a life time since I heard your voice , seen your smile heard your laughter. please shawn come to my dreams, let me know you are happy and with grandma, let me know you are still here with me, my tears sting my hearts broken.  take my hand shawn I want to go with you please baby please. I need you always and forever I love you  momSee More
Jun 13, 2016
kim commented on kim's blog post why
"hi Vicki, thank you for the beautiful thought. im so very sorry for your loss to. this unbearable pain takes over everything, I just want to be with my son, I need so bad to hold my baby again, hear his voice and never let him go. I want to hear him…"
Jun 12, 2016
Vicki commented on kim's blog post why
"Kim. I'm so sorry for your loss. although I lost my young husband, I just want to let you know, I still feel and understand how much you hurt and how you feel. I also want to share how my mother in law is dealing with the loss of her son. She…"
Jun 11, 2016
kim posted a blog post

why

everyday and night I ask shawn why he left me here alone, why did god not give you a second chance, I never get an answer. I don't want to be here anymore, not without my son. this pain never stops, never ends, to live like this is not living, I want to smile, laugh and I never will till im with him, god please make it soon, all I do is cry, hurt like I have never hurt before. why baby did you leave me, I need you always have always will. I keep waiting for you to come home, come back to me please. I love you shawn so much and I miss you so bad,  always and forever   momSee More
Jun 11, 2016
kim posted a blog post

Shawns Garden

I pray everyday you can see your garden, it looks so pretty. with the solar lights to bring you to me. I need my son so much and miss him with all my heart. I want more than anything to be with you, life with out you is no life, im so dead inside, empty and very lonely. my tears still fall all the time, I miss  you shawn  I beg god every night to take me to you, soon I will hold you again, and never let you go.  love you always and forever    momSee More
May 22, 2016
kim commented on kim's blog post to go on
"hi mori, no im not strong, my life is over, and I pray to die everyday. I have tried taking my life but it did not work,  this time. I tell myself he will come back to me, if I don't I will die . I don't want to live without shawn, I…"
May 20, 2016
kim and Mia are now friends
May 20, 2016
Mia commented on kim's blog post my beautiful son
"Hugs for you Kim."
May 19, 2016
kim posted a blog post

to go on

to even try to go on without my son, will never ever happen, the life as I knew it is over, ill never be the same  person, my tears never stop, my heart hurts more and more everyday. I pray he hears me, and comes get me, because that's all I want is to die. to end this pain, this loneliness, emptiness in my heart. I know hes here watching over me, trying so hard to help me, but nothing will help me anymore. im ready im not afraid. if there is a god take me now, save a child take me please take me. let me feel and be happy again, I cant remember being happy, I forget how to smile. I want to be with the love of my life my son my baby.  shawn please come for me, don't leave me here please, I love you always and forever  momSee More
May 19, 2016
kim posted a status
"today is so hard, if I could just hear your voice again mom"
May 8, 2016
kim posted a status
"I cant do this anymore shawn, I need you now mom"
May 5, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
im a mother of one beautiful son, hes everything to me. im married, my life is my son (SHAWN) now im in unbearable pain everyday.i pray every night for him to come get me, take me from this hell I live in.
About my Loss:
I lost my beautiful son in nov, I feel so alone, heart broken and just want to die to be with him, I cry all the time and everyday I go see him . , without him I have nothing to live for, hes the love of my life forever. nothing will ever be the same again, shawn and I did a lot together.hes so funny and made me laugh. he has big beautiful brown eyes, and dimples. he will always been my angel.

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Kim's Blog

birthday

another year without you, today is your birthday, I feel so empty without you, my beautiful son how I miss you, I cry everyday, I pray everyday to be with you. I now mom will give you a wonderfull party, but I want nothing more than to die.  have a beautifull birthday to my special son, I love you always and forever   mom .

Posted on April 5, 2017 at 6:22am

my baby

 shawn I miss you so bad, I cry all the time, my depression is worse, god how I pray every night to die, to hold you again.   I love you always and forever   mom

Posted on February 25, 2017 at 9:39am

my beautiful shawn

the holidays are so close, and I hate them so much any more. I pray every night to go with you, shawn im so broken, theres not a day or night I don't cry, and ask god why he took my son, my baby. and why he has not come for me. I know you are here with me, I feel you every day, but I need so much to hold you, please baby come for me, I cant live with this unbearable pain , I don't want to live, please help me to die,  im so lonely,  I love you always and forever, you are the love of my…

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Posted on December 15, 2016 at 7:06am — 2 Comments

my sweet shawn

how can it be 3 years today, it feels like yesterday. my tears still fall everyday. I love and miss you so very much. I need you  shawn I always have. im so dead inside, so empty and dark. my life is over, im waiting for you to come get me, please hurry I cant go on much longer. always and forever   mom

Posted on November 5, 2016 at 9:40am — 2 Comments

Comment Wall (26 comments)

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At 1:49am on January 17, 2016, Troy Willis said…

Here is some information to get you started. I found it very interesting and could possibly be helpful. Im going to do mine in California with a Sharman. Im just waiting on him to return from Costa Rico. https://www.aubreymarcus.com/ayahuasca-vs-iboga/

At 1:55pm on December 20, 2015, Kila said…
God bless you but ur son is always with u in ur heart u carry him everywhere with u xxx
At 8:28pm on December 16, 2015, kim said…

charlotte, thank you so much, your letter made me cry.  I do talk to shawn everyday, I go see him everyday to.   hes the love of my life always and forever.  please believe me I do try so hard  not to let him know how much im hurting but I just cant stop crying all the time.  I know he knows im in pain , he knows im so alone and have lost my family and friends,  he knows I only need him.  I wish with all my heart I was with him now.  this stupid holiday coming is killing me.  I pray dec will go fast get it over with.  everyone so happy, with there trees up and lights, oh god I wish I could  rip them down.  my dr says im very depressed, and suicidle. I just want to be with my son,  I can see his face, his tears, my heart just cant do this. I know my baby needs me as much as I need him, I just want to die my only wish,  why wont god let me be with my son? why  does he not hear me?  I want to hold my shawn now.  thank you my friends hugs to you all, I to am praying for you all. 

At 7:45pm on December 16, 2015, Charlotte Finklea said…
Hello Kim. I pray you are feeling a little better. Try very hard not to feed into your sorrow. I truly believe your son as well as mine are able to do some things now that they weren't able to do before. Shawn can see and hear you. Try to be as calm for him as you can. keep thinking of his wonderful smile. How wonderful the color of his eye were. I thing my son has a special glow to his face now because there are no more worries, no stress of any kind. The happiness and contentment that Shawn is experiencing now, has to be so wonderful, something we have no comprehension of. Show your love for him Kim not your anguish. Shawn is still your son, that will never change. You Kim will always be his Mom. No one can take that away from you. Lift you face to the sun and speak to him. Include him in your daily activities.
He hears you. I'm sure he wants to know that you and his Dad are okay.
I will pray for you. Your friend, Charlotte
At 12:04am on December 1, 2015, Charlotte Finklea said…
Hello Sweetheart, thank you so much for your message. Please try to hold on. I know how difficult it is. There is someone in your life that is hurting as well... Your husband. A mans heart can break as well as a woman's. We seem to forget that. Women have a wonderful gift when thing go wrong, we can cry our hearts out freely. Men have always been taught to be strong. if we're honest that is how we also raise our own sons. They have hearts also and if we pay close attention there are tears. You have disregarded his pain. Please walk into your husbands arms Kim. The love he has for you is still there. neither you or he can do anything for your son now because he resides with God. unlike me you have built in support. My husband passed away eight years ago. Your son had two parents. if our sons could see us, your being upset maybe upsetting to him. I thought about that one day when I was crying so uncontrollably. I tried very hard to stop my tears because I didn't want my son upset worrying about me. My closeness with my son Scott meant so much to me, but now I have to find a way to live without him until God calls me home. Try to be stronger for Shawn. When the time is right you will join him with no effort on your part. Your friend Charlotte
At 5:24pm on November 30, 2015, Charlotte Finklea said…
Hello Kim. Forgive me for intruding. I truly know how you feel. I have also lost a son, just this past January. It hurts so terribly. I also have thought of not wanting to be here anymore. Autopsy revealed nothing. Toxicology revealed nothing. I have no closure, that hurts most of all. I don't understand any of it. My son, visited me last Christmas. Nineteen days later he was gone. There are no answers. I thought about group therapy, talking to my priest, going to a Dr. But I don't think any of that will help me. I do believe in God, Jesus and the Blessed Mother, they are who I talk to. believe it or not I feel better after talking to them. They are the only ones that can truly help now. I realize what works for one doesn't always work for others but what harm could it do. everyone offers sympathy. God won't give you that but he will help you to carry this burden. I know you love your son. Hold all of your memories of him close to your heart. Talk to him as much as you can, this helps also. Please take care of yourself. I'm sure it would mean a great deal to him to know you're alright. Please stay well. Charlotte
At 4:48pm on March 19, 2015, Rj said…
I just lost the love of my life, my only child, my heart, my soul, my being, my son, larry. 27. Feb 1st. Oh how i feel the way you do Kim.
At 3:13am on January 24, 2015, Lost & Alone said…

Amen Kathryn this is whole site is a bad place to be only because we had to loose someone to be here.....

The people who are here though are some of the most generous of souls... Sorry to know why you are here, but glad to know you

God Bless you in your Sorrow

 

At 3:10am on January 24, 2015, Lost & Alone said…

I am so sorry that your family has fallen apart, I whish that you  were a part of my family, cause we would help you any way we can. (My sisters would smother you with stories and hugs and kisses) I wish I could tell  you a magical way to make your family see what you need, and help them see that you need them to help you grieve.

I still stand by my very short view that maby your husband is the only one you need to grieve with you, the way he stood up to your family makes me believe that he is the strength you need to hold on to with both hands, in a way you are holding part of Shawn, cause half of him came from your husband....(Probly the irritating half) ... But the only one who knows exactly how you feel would be him, he is Shawn father just as much as you are his mother..

Lots of love and hugs and kisses

My you feel the love and concern from all of us... We do understand..... We do care.... And any talking you want to do,,,, HERE is the place......We are here to support each other..... Feel free to tell us anything you want or need to tell us.....

God Bless

At 3:26pm on December 13, 2014, Britt said…

I feel like I can empathize with you. The pain does not get better just worse. Sending hugs of comfort from one mother to another. xxxxxxxx

 
 
 

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