kerry brady
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  • United Kingdom
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About Me:
mum of a 13 year old. Lives with his father (we are best friends)
About my Loss:
I met Michael over 25 years ago whilst at school. He was the uncle of my friend. As soon as I saw him I instantly fell deeply in love. Years passed and he went away and became a famous rock-star living in London, living the lifestyle.. I NEVER forgot about him and whenever I saw a piece on him or heard his name, my heart fluttered. I met Louis(my sons) dad who is called Mark, and I was told I would never have children. After the third fertility attempt we were blessed with our boy. Oh for the record I have a terrible biological family who mentally abused me as I grew up telling me I was unlovable and causing me later to have agoraphobia. I never felt love until Michael. Over nine months ago out of the blue Michael contacted via Facebook and my heart nearly stopped. We arranged to meet for a catch up. He told me later that as soon as he saw me he fell in love with me. We were so very perfect together but I was aware of my boys dad but was willing to give up everything for Michael. He was all I ever wanted or would've dreamed of. On our first date he casually told me he had cirrhosis of the liver but I didn't really understand the outcome. I just wish someone in his family would've told me how ill he was even him. I felt kinda robbed. Just over 2 months ago my beautiful beautiful Michael (he was 41) was taken from me. The damage to his liver had been done in his days of the band and so was irreversible and he was unable to have a liver transplant. I never thought for one minute one day he would be here and the next they were giving him 2 days to live with liver failure. He fought his hardest as I know he didn't want to leave me and hung on for three more weeks. I was so scared seeing him because of his colour but never showed him that. He mainly slept for the 3 weeks. When he passed I was hysterical and needed proof it was true so went to see him in hospital.. it was true. I noticed a small tear trickling down his face and I felt that was for me. I am a very very spiritual person but even I was tested. I begged him to come back to me or give me signs. Eventually through my grief we made contact and he told me his sign would be to make it rain, and I am not joking when I say this but the last ten times without fail he has done it. It has been a glorious sunny day and I asked him for our sign and it happened. This man was/is my future and i asked him to marry me and he said yes. Not forgetting Mark, he realised what Michael meant to me and in the process his dad died too, which was tough. Mark has been my best friend and deep down knows we can never have what Michael and I have. Ive never known a love like this, I do love Mark and he is the best and only support I have, although i HAD my first grief counseling the other day but I feel guilty too. Miracles do happen just think of my rain sign. Thank you for listening to my story everybody,xx
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