"i miss mom so mush i do"
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John B,
Your post brought me to my knees. Nothing could have prepared you for what you now are having to manage without Johnette. What a horrible way to find your love has just gone without warning. I am so sorry.
I am sorry for all of us. Every time I see more of those little boxes in the side column I cringe. I know there are more people who have discovered this website and my personal pain is just magnified because I know someone else is where I am and I don't want anyone to have to feel like me.
Our struggles with our emotions are the common thread that bring us together because we need and want help in figuring out how we can get through each day. It's not much help but the only way I have found I can halfway cope is I take each moment for just that. A moment. Little tiny baby steps. Not toward anything, just moving. Maybe there will be a future for us, but for me, not yet.
Having 35 years with my husband I know that 36 years with the same person is a long long time to get to know each other and trying to get the brain to understand the loss is almost impossible. There are no quick fixes or answers to understanding why they are gone and we are still here. I just wanted to respond and let you know that your pain has been heard and acknowledged as being the only way you could be now. Abandoned, lost, stranded and in a state of shock.
morgan