L.O
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  • United Kingdom
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L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I don't think i can cope anymore, i thought i was doing ok but im in bits. Im in pain all over but the drs cant find anything wrong, i miss him so much that the thought of never seeing him or even hearing his voice again is killing me. Iv been…"
Jun 4
L.O replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan  I want to hug you so much right now, i feel the very same i was with my partner for almost 18years and we had been through so much in that time. He was my everything, i could tell him things that i never told my family, he knew me…"
Apr 9
L.O replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Trevy Firstly hugs to you for being so brave, it must not be easy to read all these messages and remembering how your own pain once was xx I lost my partner suddenly last October just before his 32nd birthday, i miss him terribly but deep down i…"
Apr 8
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi all Maxey i totally get you i feel lost without my partner, we live together for over 15years and did everything together. Iv recently come back from a holiday as i thought it would do the kids good to get away, it didn't do me any good…"
Apr 3
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Been to hospital again tonight for my chest, they run all the test and still cant find anything wrong. Gave me two paracetamol and sent me home. Sat here alone in pain not just from my chest but pain from missing him. Its been almost 6 months and…"
Mar 16
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marjorie i have 6 children altogether but he is the oldest, the youngest is not even one yet. The days im not as bad as they all keep me busy but when they are not here or in bed its a nightmare sat here alone"
Mar 2
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Its been 5 months since i lost my partner and the Days seam to be getting worse here not easier, im crying every day. I struggle with the simplist of things. I cant seam to function without him tidy and my teenager has decided he doesn't want…"
Mar 2
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you marjorie, i worry about everything now especially when it involves my children x"
Feb 19
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Well been to drs again and they still cant find out why im having chest pains (in even had a heart scan) They put me on new meds mirtazapine but im afraid to take them as i heard its hard to wake up and having young children i need to be able to get…"
Feb 19
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here, being in my house isn't the same even with little ones running about. Inside im screaming at those who ask if 'im OK' as the true answer is no I'll never be OK without my partner. He was and still is my everything i…"
Feb 4
L.O shared Jon-Paul Ackerman's group on Facebook
Jan 6
Elynn m replied to L.O's discussion lost my soulmate in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. That has to be the worst type of loss.....most unexpected.   I lost my husband unexpectedly, but he was at the emergency room at the hospital.  We did lose our son unexpectedly at home. (From a…"
Jan 3
Susan K replied to L.O's discussion lost my soulmate in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi I am sorry for your loss losing a partner is the most difficult thing I had ever had to deal with. I lost my husband 11 months ago and everyday feels like the first. I go through the motions. I do not have children so I can not relate to that…"
Jan 3
Peggy left a comment for L.O
"I know the only way I could describe how I felt at the beginning was that I felt like I'd had a limb ripped off of my body.  No surgery, just torn away.  You're a team, it's a small team, only 2 members but still, 1/2 of the…"
Jan 3
L.O left a comment for Peggy
"Thank you Peggy, im not sure how i came across this site but im glad i have somewhere to talk. I do have lots of support from family and friends but i feel they dont understand as they all still have their partners. I lost my father almost 5 years…"
Jan 3
Peggy left a comment for L.O
"Oh sweetie, you're not single, you're a widow.  He was your partner and had he not died, you'd be getting married.  I'm so so sorry for your loss.  I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for you with your…"
Jan 3

Profile Information

About Me:
Im 31 and full time mum before my partner past away he proposed and we had planned on getting married this year (2018) i hate being called single as this was not an option we didnt split up although that wouldnt hurt as much as hed still be in mine and my childrens lives. We also planned on giving up smoking to which i will stick to and try my best
About my Loss:
i lost my partner in October just befor his 32 birthday, it came as a huge shock as he was fit and well. Myself and our children are struggling to come to terms with not seeing him anymore or even hearing his voice. My heart breaks everyday as my youngest only had 7 months with him and will only know him through memories of others.since the day he passed iv been to hospital six times and drs three times due to chest pains and they cant find anything wrong with me

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 1:46pm on January 3, 2018, Peggy said…

I know the only way I could describe how I felt at the beginning was that I felt like I'd had a limb ripped off of my body.  No surgery, just torn away.  You're a team, it's a small team, only 2 members but still, 1/2 of the team just disappears and not only do you no longer have your love with you, your cheerleader, your always supporter, your safe place to land... you're now also responsible for everything.  It's overwhelming and impossible to really understand until you experience it for yourself.  You be sure and take folks up on their offers of help, they want to help and it will make things a bit easier for you.  xo

At 12:17pm on January 3, 2018, Peggy said…

Oh sweetie, you're not single, you're a widow.  He was your partner and had he not died, you'd be getting married.  I'm so so sorry for your loss.  I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for you with your children. I hope that you're feeling well supported by your family and friends right now.  One thing I learned after losing my husband was that anxiety accompanies grief.  I feel stupid to admit that I had no clue about that prior to losing him.  Your chest pains could be panic / anxiety attacks.  If you haven't already, I'd talk to my GP about anxiety. While I'm very sorry that you're here, I'm glad that you've found your way here. I think you'll find a lot of support here. 

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, it was nice to put a face to a name. I always have these pre conceived notions of what I think people will look like. With you, it's the name, I saw you as having blue hair and cat glasses. I was wrong on this one. "
56 minutes ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The blond women I was hugging afterwards was my sister. Bluebell"
3 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I was really scared to get up there, but I am glad I did. Not everyone here has this type of Celebration of Life. But my sister's husband was very involved in the well being of his neighborhood and also loved a good get together at his…"
3 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Linda. I want to be very clear -- I am in no way advocating suicide for anyone, I am just saying that if that is what I end up doing, I will not allow it to keep me from my husband."
5 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"On the topic of suicide, there are two reasons that I have not contemplated taking my own life. One of them is that I cannot allow myself to leave my loved ones to deal with the trauma and heartbreak if I were to commit suicide. In my opinion, it…"
5 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Dear Geraldine, Very sorry to hear that you are having another anxiety-filled day. Lately, I am having more of the depression attacks, with more frequency and more intensity. This living hell is just unbearable! When will this all end?  Sending…"
5 hours ago
monty thompson replied to monty thompson's discussion My wife passed 5 days before christmas in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All I have noticed lately that i am having dreams with re-occuring theams. my wife leaving (though some circumstance) and having greater responsibilities to look after others.. are other experiencing dreams with constant theam's ? that…"
5 hours ago
Geraldine Brown commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Another morning waking with anxiety that feels like it is choking me. Missing my husband with an ache inside that I cannot explain. If only cancer didn't exist or there was a cure, my beloved would still be here."
6 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"AMEN!!!!!!"
9 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, You have a very valid point, I agree with your comment."
9 hours ago
Leian joined Amy's group
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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
11 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I don't agree -- if there is an afterlife, I WILL be with my husband there, no matter how I die. I will tear the afterlife apart to be with him, if that is what I have to do. I don't believe in God, but if there is one, if it is a loving…"
13 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I agree with you, my Lutheran religion has taught if I take my own life I will not join My Husband in heaven. The only way I go on is that we are not widowed, still married only he is in Heaven and I am in Hell. "
14 hours ago
Trevy Thomas commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"My heart goes out to you all. Grief is the hardest pain in the world. A few things I saw in your comments made me want to share.  Vickie, grief is still new for you and the early part is impossibly hard. My husband died at 49…"
16 hours ago
Geraldine Brown commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Oh Vickie lemoigne ecklund my heart breaks for you. There are no words that can take away the pain. "
19 hours ago
Vickie lemoigne ecklund commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I lost my husband 7 moths ago and he was my soul mate my everything. I am so lost without out him. I don't know what to do. All I do is cry. How long will I just want to die cuz I'm without out him. His b day is today he would have been 53…"
20 hours ago
Vickie lemoigne ecklund joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
20 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, amazing words. It helped me a lot. Bluebell, saw your video and felt amazing. It is great that you have such celebration of life. It is not very common in India. "
20 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That is so hard to do. My mom would tell me that she wanted me to be happy after she was gone. I would say, "Mom, how happy would you be if I were the one who was dying?" She couldn't answer that question. Who knows? Maybe if I had…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"If we each go every detail of our lives with our mothers, each one of us will find ample reason to feel guilty. But what would be the point? None of us would be on this site if we didn't love and miss our mom's with all of our…"
yesterday

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