I’m 33 and born and raised in Connecticut. I have no kids and never married but have two dogs who are my world. I still have my sister and extended family. I work full time and enjoy my friends for down time. I also like to read, I love wine tasting and country music and just enjoy sitting outside enjoying the fresh air. I’m just trying to find me and who I am with these cards I‘ve been dealt with.
About my Loss:
I lost my Dad 11 years ago to cancer which he fought hard for 5 years. Once he passed I became my Moms provider and care taker at 22. Mom was healthy for a long time until 2015 when she got cancer. She went into remission in 6 months and then in 2018 it came back aggressively. She fought so hard and I am so proud to be her daughter after watching how fierce she was, however she lost her fight in October 2019. Now I am trying to figure out who I am as a person since I am no longer a daughter or caretaker/provider as an adult at 33...
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"Today, I feel it.
It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April.
I am overwhelmed.
I am crushed.
I love you, Mom. I…"
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died.
For some reason, I do not feel crushed today.
But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Yes, it is much harder for me to concentrate or focus now. Grief, sadness, anger, despair -- they have all conspired to make it difficult for me to access my intelligence to the same degree as before my husband died. That is, my…"
"Bluebird, I am glad that you took that the right way. I had a feeling you would know what I meant. And your description is correct: I have a general idea of how you feel but it's impossible for me or anyone else to know…"
"I guess I can emphasize with the things you loved to do dying with the one you loved - as if that feeling has been pulled along, stretched thin to behind the veil. You don't have the energy to pursue them anymore, and just having something that…"
"Please don't apologize; I'm sorry I didn't respond to your last post in April, I'm not very good about keeping up with things anymore.
I don't feel that I'm moving forward at all, but I can see how that would work…"