Thanks so much for your note. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write back to you sooner. I wonder how you are doing? Only a month since you lost your wife... I remember a numbness that…"
This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties. My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief. I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
"I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dearly loved wife in December. She was 40. She had been fighting for nearly 3 years! Fighting hard! While my journey is no more or less painful than yours, I had more time to process what was going on.…"
Lost my wife of a little over 18.5 years to colon cancer after a 3 year battle. She fought valiantly all the way up to the end. She died on Dec 14, 2017. Her services were on the 19th. She was in home hospice since before Thanksgiving.
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Thanks so much for your note. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write back to you sooner. I wonder how you are doing? Only a month since you lost your wife... I remember a numbness that lasted me for a little while after Tom died. My mom and sister even said that they were surprised at how well I was doing. Little did we know what was in store! Do you feel like you are hanging in there okay? Maybe having your kids to take care of forces you to keep it together a bit? I hope so.
I know exactly what you mean about how hard it is to grapple with the fact that we are not in control. I fully believed that Tom would get through this and that I would make that happen - through all of the research and alternative stuff and finding the best docs etc. etc. And then nothing worked. And I didn't have the power I thought I did. What a thing to believe I could control.
I've found the most peace from reading everything I can get my hands on about the afterlife (I was an atheist before!) and I have had some amazing "visits" and this idea that my husband still exists and loves me enough to come to me does make it a little, tiny bit easier. I hope you can find something that helps you too.
Same - would be happy to listen if you need to vent and thank you for your offer :)
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time. Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference? Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have.
I had no idea there were only a few…"
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices.
Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
welcome, people on here are very supportive. I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end. In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing. Now I…"
It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out.
" As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts. I think you could be a writer or counselor. Thanks everyone else for support also. I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do. I was thinking tonight,…"
This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.
The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.
I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common. I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad. Same here. My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died. All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
"Virginia, mom's are very intuitive. I tired to hide it. It didn't work. Mom could see right through me. She would tell me that everything was going to be okay. I think my mom was more worried about leaving me than she was about dying. That…"
You are right, how can we go from our Moms being our whole lives to nothing? It’s not possible. It doesn’t even make sense. I see other families and I envy them and it makes me sad. I want my family…"
Your posts always make me cry, you write so well and it always hits me in the heart. So you also felt the constant despair inside, but you were able to control and hide it, unlike me. Therein lies my guilt. I was…"