Tammy black(Zendt)
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  • Macomb, MI
  • United States
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  • Dani
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  • Connie K

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About Me:
I am a single parent of 3 amazing children. Which are my son my nephew I'm adopting soon. And my wonderful granddaughter. I've raised for 5 years. My daughter was shot and killed in Orlando last August 5 th.
About my Loss:
My 27 year old daughter was shot and killed.
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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 3:17pm on October 28, 2015, Connie K said…

Tammy - I am sorry to have too welcome you to the group. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. We all understand your pain and anguish all too well. I hope you can find some comfort and support here. I lost my 17 year old son 9myonly) almost 3 years ago (it seems like yesterday), He was a passenger in a car with a "friend" who made a an arrogant and stupid move which cost my son his life. The driver was fine. We all have regrets, please do not be too hard on yourself. Hugs to you. Connie

At 7:08pm on October 20, 2015, Tammy black(Zendt) said…
I feel alone. I am so damn mad that piece of shit chose to play God and take my baby us. She was and is very loved. She never knew how much. I hate myself for not answering the phone when she called me for the last time. Why didn't I answer the phone?
At 10:03pm on October 11, 2015, Dani said…

Tammy,

Your loss is a devastating and unnatural one. Although it will be unique, we all share the indefensible pain that attacks our soul each minute. The senselessness and traumatic loss you have experience I can understand. The anger stands there, waiting to usurp your heart when the sadness and pain are unguarded.

I have found that i am drifting through my life; wondering if I would even have any fight within me should I be faced with a choice.

I find small accomplishments in such unordinary tasks such as having a meal and getting out of bed. You may find that you are consumed with tears and despair, and in that, I can only find meaning in that I loved him very much. That is the balance to our most beloved persons; your daughter must be so deeply loved. 

There is a prayer that I try to soothe myself with, and it says:

from ignorance to knowledge,

from dark to light,

from mortality to immortality,

to peace.

Please reach out here whenever is possible. We are with you in all of this. I am 35 years old, feeling like I am 60 years old without plans for the future. But here, at least I am not too alone. You are not going through this by yourself as I hear you and see you.

 
 
 

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Melissa replied to Charles Alexander's discussion New here after sons choice of suicide
"I am so sorry for your loss!! I do know and understand what you are going through!! My son Matthew took his own life in June 13th 10 day before his 26 birthday! He checked into a super 8 on a Monday and the staff found him dead on a Thursday!! When…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, I understand what you mean.  There will never be anymore of what we did together, IT IS FINISHED."
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Strike those vacations below, they'll never be another one.  Went on a memorial cruise with my daughter and family four months after she passed because she was so looking forward to it.  It hurt enough to know they'll be no more."
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes Elynn, the loneliness.  That's painful.  They're not here and always was.  Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had.  We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the…"
Oct 9
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I've had a rough few weeks.   August 31st would have been our 45th wedding anniversary.   September 27 was year 4 of my husband's passing.   It's pretty lonely around here.  Its difficult to talk…"
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Every day for me is the same day she passed.  Not a joyful or even an ok moment.  I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, I feel the same as you. My sweet dog Babie J is nearing the Rainbow Bridge. I wanted stay on this earth for her. Once she passes I will do nothing to save my own soul.  "
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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