"So sorry to welcome you to www.onlinegriefsupport.com. I lost my dad 9 months ago to COPD/emphysema. Watching him go was a terrible experience! I tried to comfort him and spent about 20 of his last hours singing to him and playing music he loved.…"
Oct 31, 2017
Sue is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
I love life and I always try to see the positive side of every bad situation but sometimes depression sets in and i need to talk about things to friends and/or family but its hard to burden them with my problems. I have anxiety issues, its harder for me to open up to someone face to face. I have lost family members and friends but the loss of my dad is the worst pain ever.
About my Loss:
The most hurtful loss in my life was when i watched as my dad pass away 6 months ago of emphysema and COPD. He passed away the day after Father’s Day, Its been tough and its affecting my relationship with everyone, I don’t really want engage in social activities anymore, i know its not healthy, my doctor said i need grief counseling but its tough for me to talk face to face, i am giving this a try as i am trying to help myself move forward instead of the what-ifs and things i keep looking back to.
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So sorry to welcome you to www.onlinegriefsupport.com. I lost my dad 9 months ago to COPD/emphysema. Watching him go was a terrible experience! I tried to comfort him and spent about 20 of his last hours singing to him and playing music he loved. They told me he could hear me and encouraged me to keep singing and playing music. I guess it did comfort us both...
I really appreciated a brochure, WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE DIES. I think the advise in the brochure is very practical.
"*** we pp. 14-15 How Can I Live With My Grief? *** Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” So talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope. When her child died, one mother explained why it helped to talk to another woman who had faced a similar loss: “To know that somebody else had gone through the same thing, had come out whole from it, and that she was still surviving and finding some sort of order in her life again was very strengthening to me.” What if you are not comfortable talking about your feelings? Following the death of Saul and Jonathan, David composed a highly emotional dirge in which he poured out his grief. This mournful composition eventually became part of the written record of the Bible book of Second Samuel. (2 Samuel 1:17-27; 2 Chronicles 35:25) Similarly, some find it easier to express themselves in writing. One widow reported that she would write down her feelings and then days later read over what she had written. She found this a helpful release. Whether by talking or writing, communicating your feelings can help you to release your grief. It can also help to clear up misunderstandings. A bereaved mother explains: “My husband and I heard of other couples that got divorced after losing a child, and we didn’t want that to happen to us. So any time we felt angry, wanting to blame each other, we would talk it out. I think we really grew closer together by doing that.” Thus, letting your feelings be known can help you to understand that even though you may be sharing the same loss, others may grieve differently—at their own pace and in their own way."
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time. Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference? Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have.
I had no idea there were only a few…"
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices.
Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
welcome, people on here are very supportive. I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end. In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing. Now I…"
It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out.
" As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts. I think you could be a writer or counselor. Thanks everyone else for support also. I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do. I was thinking tonight,…"
This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.
The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.
I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common. I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad. Same here. My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died. All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
"Virginia, mom's are very intuitive. I tired to hide it. It didn't work. Mom could see right through me. She would tell me that everything was going to be okay. I think my mom was more worried about leaving me than she was about dying. That…"
You are right, how can we go from our Moms being our whole lives to nothing? It’s not possible. It doesn’t even make sense. I see other families and I envy them and it makes me sad. I want my family…"
Your posts always make me cry, you write so well and it always hits me in the heart. So you also felt the constant despair inside, but you were able to control and hide it, unlike me. Therein lies my guilt. I was…"