"So sorry to welcome you to www.onlinegriefsupport.com. I lost my dad 9 months ago to COPD/emphysema. Watching him go was a terrible experience! I tried to comfort him and spent about 20 of his last hours singing to him and playing music he loved.…"
Oct 31, 2017
Sue is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
I love life and I always try to see the positive side of every bad situation but sometimes depression sets in and i need to talk about things to friends and/or family but its hard to burden them with my problems. I have anxiety issues, its harder for me to open up to someone face to face. I have lost family members and friends but the loss of my dad is the worst pain ever.
About my Loss:
The most hurtful loss in my life was when i watched as my dad pass away 6 months ago of emphysema and COPD. He passed away the day after Father’s Day, Its been tough and its affecting my relationship with everyone, I don’t really want engage in social activities anymore, i know its not healthy, my doctor said i need grief counseling but its tough for me to talk face to face, i am giving this a try as i am trying to help myself move forward instead of the what-ifs and things i keep looking back to.
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So sorry to welcome you to www.onlinegriefsupport.com. I lost my dad 9 months ago to COPD/emphysema. Watching him go was a terrible experience! I tried to comfort him and spent about 20 of his last hours singing to him and playing music he loved. They told me he could hear me and encouraged me to keep singing and playing music. I guess it did comfort us both...
I really appreciated a brochure, WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE DIES. I think the advise in the brochure is very practical.
"*** we pp. 14-15 How Can I Live With My Grief? *** Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” So talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope. When her child died, one mother explained why it helped to talk to another woman who had faced a similar loss: “To know that somebody else had gone through the same thing, had come out whole from it, and that she was still surviving and finding some sort of order in her life again was very strengthening to me.” What if you are not comfortable talking about your feelings? Following the death of Saul and Jonathan, David composed a highly emotional dirge in which he poured out his grief. This mournful composition eventually became part of the written record of the Bible book of Second Samuel. (2 Samuel 1:17-27; 2 Chronicles 35:25) Similarly, some find it easier to express themselves in writing. One widow reported that she would write down her feelings and then days later read over what she had written. She found this a helpful release. Whether by talking or writing, communicating your feelings can help you to release your grief. It can also help to clear up misunderstandings. A bereaved mother explains: “My husband and I heard of other couples that got divorced after losing a child, and we didn’t want that to happen to us. So any time we felt angry, wanting to blame each other, we would talk it out. I think we really grew closer together by doing that.” Thus, letting your feelings be known can help you to understand that even though you may be sharing the same loss, others may grieve differently—at their own pace and in their own way."
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I'm glad that I was with my mom when she passed over. I was the last person that she saw and I was able to tell her that it was okay, but you bet I was haunted by all that I saw. There is no good way."
"Actually, I am glad you did not see your Mom pass from this life to the next. I was there for mine and it haunts me that I watched her struggled for breath. There are other things that happened before they took her away that I will never…"
"No she always used to say to me “you never know when it will be your time” I’m mad at myself for not being there and the reason was that I stopped at her house on the way to the hospital thinking they will have to get her settled…"
"I can relate. There is no definite diagnosis whether my Mom passed away from her heart condition or respiratory failure. I will never know. But there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. That was out of my control.
I pray that you feel your…"
"Hi , I lost my mother on April 14, 2018. Was with her when she passed. Love if her life. It was hard watching her go and seeing the fight in her face and her knowing that was it as far as being with me again in physical body. She is now a gorgeous…"
"Thanks for your message Frances. I just saw it. I appreciate your kind words. God bless you. I don’t post on this site likebI did when my mom first died. It’s still hard adjusting to her not being here. Her death has helped…"
"Bluebell, so glad for you
I so wish I could have the same experience
I finally after much though realized what it is that I am having a hard time with about my moms death.....why did she go in CA, I cry and realize that I will live with not knowing…"
"I have made a decision to take baby steps to recover from the trauma of the bleed in my brain. The first step I am working on is thinking of myself as a whole person who has the desire and courage to return to living a life without thinking of…"
"Thank you bluebird for the kind words. That's a great idea to write to our friends. I still send Christmas cards, and birthday cards, but I should send a card once in awhile too. Thank you for the advice."
"I'm sorry you're feeling so down. It's good that you have your children and your sister-in-law, but no one can take the place of your husband. As far as your friends, it's quite possible that they just don't know…"
"Hi Elynn and Monty
I have this picture right by my computer. It really helped me accept the fact that I will never stop grieve fro my Husband. I find no comfort with family and Friends, just my sweet little dog Babie J."
"thank you Monty for your comments. I try to remind myself that friends don't know what they r doing, and they don't know what to say. I know that everyone will face this at some time, but I cannot say that to friends,…"
sorry so to hear of your loss and how your feeling.
My wife passed December last year and i have also found that people have stopped calling and don't come around. I too am feeling isolated and alone.
Luckily for me i have my sister…"