I'm also sorry for your loss and your mother's pain at the end of her life.  Mother's and daughters tend to be best friends.  I know that's not always the case, but it sounds like it was in yours and I know it was in mine.  Peace to us both.

Thank you for your kind comments.  You and everyone one this site is keeping me going.  I spent the day thinking of ways to honor my mom's memory, sorting pictures, all the cards she's sent me over the years for birthdays and holidays.  It helps.  And you and the member's here words help so much.  I like it - one hour at a time.  It sounds like a great plan. 

I'm sorry to read of your mom's passing. Watching her fight an illness and then succumb to it must have been very difficult. I'm glad to read that you have experienced her presence, that must be comforting. I'm relatively new to this site and seeing how many people live with grief everyday is heartbreaking. It's comforting to know there is a place we can all go for nonjudgmental support. My thoughts are with you as I'm certain you will always feel the pain of losing not just your mom but your best friend.

sory abot yore mum having c o p d i saw my dad sufer it from yrs we now fpund oyt resperty desese runs in the family my dad stopet smoking i 1973 and so did my mum in 1973 after thy got maried my dad woz my mums 2nd husband but he woz a good a man she maried my dad after she got devorsed we moved to a area wen i woz 8 or 9 wear ther woz a lot of facterys a lot of snoke coming from thm and a lot of trucks in the id 80s my dad got dignosed with co pd in 2005 i tryed smoking wen i woz a tean thnk god i did not like the taste my anti dot has ful on emthaseana but she wont stop smoking all i get is if she stopet it wud kill her she is 80 now and smoket from aged 11 we all tell her its bad for her but all we get u hav to die of som kind of desese sory if iv bean to mush

Hi! I'm sorry about your mom. My mom died on Dec 27,2012 and she was my best friend and confidante. Your mother was lucky to have such a wonderful and brave and strong daughter.

Hi Sue,

First of all I must say you r beautiful and I see where u got it from...ur mom. I know how u r feeling, as though God has forsaken you, but ur beautiful mom is in heaven looking down at u.  One day u will join her nd be happy 2gether again. Right now u have to continue doing the things she would want u to do. U seem like a woman of strength to me.

Jean

Well lets just say I am surviving.  I go thru the daily routines as I have no choice but my heart is broken.  I spend a lot of my spare time with my 80 yr old mother or my dear friend Deborah.  I hope God does not take my mother anytime in the near future.  She is very healthy and active.  About a year ago I was finally starting to feel some what 'normal' and then my son became ill.  He was living with me at the time as he was separated from his spouse.  I took care of him for 6 months and he passed from complications of kidney failure.  He was on dialysis and got an infection thru the dialysis port which became sepsis and he could not fight it.  I too was with him when he took his last breath.  Tears come to my eyes as I am telling you this.  I know he is in a wonderful place and is with his dad and his Father but I still wish he was still here on earth.  He has 3 small children, 6,7 & 8 and they are wonderful and doing very well.  My husband of 34 yrs passed in 2008 and I never thought that would happen.  He became ill very quickly and only lasted 2 weeks, he passed from complications of Leukemia.  I felt so guilty after his passing for a long long time, kept thinking I should of done this or that or said this or shouldn't have said that, should have stayed at the hospital longer to be with him etc etc.   It does get better with time but you still have that place in your heart for them.  I just wish God will show me what I am suppose to do now and I know He will.  I am so sorry for your loss.  And what the jackass spouse put you through.  I am so sorry.  But you do have God on your side and He loves you.  Thank you Jesus.  Hope you have a blessed day.

Reenie

Hi Sue,

  I am new to this group and I already feel like I made the right decision,and let me say I am so sorry for your lose.

You sound so much like me I was born Jan 3.1956 and I am an animal activist ,you may say I love animals more than people .I live with my 4 yr old bull terrier,adopted from a shelter,and 2 cats 1 is a stray and the other from a City Critters and adoption agency that has the most beautiful cats,and they have the cats at Petco where I would shop at least 3 times a week so I guess you can say my girls are spoiled.

  I lost my mom Ann White to complications of a stroke,she suffered almost 4 yrs till she passed on NOV 16,2010 she was bed bound .I am an only child and I lost my dad on 1974 at the age of 49to a massive heart attack and I guess that is a big reason I could never find any one who could fill his shoes. I met some men along the way and I always felt that the ones I got involved with were not worth the time of day . I guess you can see that mom and I were so close she  was my best friend.I was with mom every day from the the time she left the hospital to her stays in the nursing home,but the last year mom was declining and and she just wanted to die,in fact she lost over 50 lbs because she refused to eat.She would say things that were so frustrating and I know I would try to make her understand and bring her back to reality but not only the stroke caused severe brain damge but she was in the early stages of dementia.Mom was found unresponsive and on Nov 10 and she was brain dead until I had to make the decision to remove her from life support,imagine how I felt taking the life of the women who gave me life.

   I joined because I was having trouble sleeping,maybe 3 hrs a night and I would wake and  find myself standing over my parents grave and not see dirt but mom just laying there,I felt like I was going crazy,of all the time I was with her I was not there when she passed as I had left the hospital and the reason I left I have no idea. I spoke with her the  days before like two friends in a coffee shop I told her every thing I never said in all the years and told her I did not want her to go but if the Good Lord wanted her it was ok,and she would be with dad .I did lose my job 2 yrs before and I guess it was a good  thing as I had all that time with mom.

    I hope we can continue to chat,and to take my mind off of the real world I am writing a book,no I am not a writer my profession is a med tech,but my book will be called Wagging Tails,the story of my dog Maddie's adoption thru her eyes,how she came from Georgia to New York at 9 weeks of age ,to her knee surgery at 9 months, a snapped Cruciate Rupture,and I went on line to find publishers to help non writers and one contacted me and showed some interest, and want to show people how the shelters are so over crowed and these dogs deserve a great home

   Take care ,and hope to chat soon, Debbie