I am a working mother of 4 kiddos. Homeschooling is tough with the pandemic. This has been by far the hardest year of my life. My oldest son has been hospitalized multiple times for suicidal attempts, currently doing better after DX of borderline personality disorder. I also have a son who is autistic but is starting antipsychotics because they believe he also has schizophrenia. My husband works extremely long hrs and i carry the brunt of everything.
About my Loss:
My dad unexpectedly passed away on 9/22, we found him on 9/27 after reaching out to the police to do a welfare check on him. He was only 56 and living alone after my step mom took off early this year to continue her drug use. I did not enter the home at the time, but did receive the police report with photos where i fought the police and Medical examiner for 17 days for an autopsy. We are unsure his cause of death at this time, but there are definitely some concerning circumstances. The police and ME agreed they missed the signs and they did the autopsy and I was able to take care of my dad and bring him home. My stepmother was technically next of kin but because of her drug us she was unable to be located. Which is probably for the best so dad can be with us kids. So weird that the jar is my dad. I feel so much guilt, not just because we were arguing when this happened but because I feel it is unfair that I can still go on with basic function and he cannot. Like eating. Every time I eat, I wish I hadn't because somehow it doesn't seem fair. No amount of medication is helping and I feel like nobody understands or thinks I am crazy for wanting to carry my dad around. Im finding it hard to grieve when I have so much to do.
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I hope you all have a nice thanksgiving holiday.
This is my first major holiday without my dad. I miss him so much. I'm trying to keep busy by making a huge feast for only three people, but it's not enough. It's hard not…"
7 hours ago
Kim and Shawn joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community