My parents have both been gone for many years, which left me and my two brothers, one younger and one older. My younger brother died near the end of May, then four months later, my older brother passed away. We are/were all in our 60’s, with various health issues, but none that indicated imminent death, so both deaths were unexpected and wrenching. Yesterday was 4 months since my older brother died and this Saturday will be 8 months since my younger one died. I’m finding it very difficult coming to terms with being the only surviving member of my birth family, and feel like a huge part of my history died with them, as we were a military family and moved frequently while growing up, and never lived near any extended family, so there is no one who knows the childhood me. Added to that, we have always been fond of constant bad jokes, ever worse puns, and many inside jokes that date from our younger years. Both of their widows are understandably grieving as well, and I’ve always been a source of support to anyone who needed it, but I’m not used to leaning on anyone else. Added to that, the pandemic has cut way down on any socializing outside of my kids and their families, who are my lifelines, but I’d really like another outlet so that I’m not always Sad Grammy when I spend precious time with my grandchildren.
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I'm in a somber mood, tonight. I really don't even want to do my journal entry, but I have been doing better with getting an entry done on a daily basis, and I don't want to fall out of the habit just because my heart hurts.My ex brother-in-law was admitted to the hospital last night for smoke inhalation. They were saying that they didn't know if he was going to make it at one point. His trailer caught fire, and he was not aware that his girlfriend Linda had made it out of the window. James had…See More