"Shane...My heart feels your pain, the same pain that I feel over the loss of my beautiful partner, Brad, who was only 35 years old. You and Christian should have had many wonderful years together and now you are suffering this traumatic loss at such…"
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved partner. The way his family has treated you is beyond ugly. What disrespect they show to you the person he loved. A lot of us have experienced the same garbage with our own families. Shane...I…"
My partner fell off a four story building. He was taking photographs of one of our friends on her roof. We have been on her roof over a hundred times. He was taking some photos and stepped backwards and lost his balance and fell. There isn't a railing on the roof because it wasn't designed for people to be up there. He landed on a cement patio below.
I wasn't there. I found out that it took over 30 minutes for an ambulance to get there and when they finally arrived they didn't even run over to him. They asked my friend if she had his ID's. My friend yelled at them to help him. So eventually they took him to the ER.
When I got to the emergency room no one would tell me what was happening. Eventually a nurse told me that they had everyone working on him. After an hour a doctor came in and told me they couldn't save him.
A few hours after he passed it brought us to Sunday, which was Mother's day. There were so many things that happened while his mother was her....but in a nutshell she didn't do one that my partner would've wanted and she was only concerned about bank accounts and life insurance policies. While my family stayed in hotels and had to rent cars, his mom forced herself into my home. She tried to take everything and eventually she went to a hotel and I never heard from her again. I flew to Chicago to go to the funeral because she was having his body flown so he could be buried back home (Which he no longer considered his home) and I got a phone call from my partner's aunt telling me that his parents will physically hurt me if I try to show up to the funeral. I wasn't able to attend his funeral. I didn't get to see the burial.
There were so many other things that took place but the most important thing is I lost the love of my life, the one person who truly got me. We lived together and worked together. We literally spent almost 24 hours a day together for over seven years. I can't do one thing without it being a part of my life I shared with him. I run our company alone now and for the most part I still don't feel like he is gone. I mean I know he's no longer here but it feels like I can just call him or text him.
It's hard to relate to anyone. Most people don't know what to say and they give advice when they don't know what the hell they are talking about. I mean I didn't get to say goodbye and I don't want to say losing a mother to cancer is not as bad as a tragic death for a young person because you had time to say goodbye.
All I know is I hope to see him again someday...and the idea of not seeing him again makes me question life. What's the point of life? Why does stuff like this have to happen?
Comment Wall (1 comment)
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
Shane...My heart feels your pain, the same pain that I feel over the loss of my beautiful partner, Brad, who was only 35 years old. You and Christian should have had many wonderful years together and now you are suffering this traumatic loss at such a young age. But your youth is a benefit - you will move on with your life when you're ready. I'm not so sure about myself. I am not a religious person, but I do believe that God = love = energy and energy can't be destroyed. That energy (soul if you will) exists outside the body (contrary to Christian beliefs) and so the attachment we have to the other people in our lives is never lost. I feel Brad's energy around me all the time and I often connect most strongly with it in my dreams. A friend of mine created a small, Buddhist-like shrine on the lanai where Brad lost his life in our pool. Just a bouquet of flowers, a candle, and a few personal items that had meaning for the two of us. I can't tell you how much peace that shrine brought to me those first few days after his death. The shrine is gone now, but I still feel his presence whenever I go out to the lanai. I am gearing myself up for a memorial service on 9/17, when our friends will get together and tell Brad stories and talk about the influence he had on our lives. Then we'll float his ashes out to sea in a rice paper "boat." It might help if you and your friends have a similar service and though you won't have his ashes, perhaps a nice picture of him (you have so many) would be a substitute. I think that all of these little memorials are very helpful in the grieving process. But the most important thing to remember is that it's only his physical body that is separated from you. If you calmly reflect on all the wonderful moments you two shared, I think you'll feel his presence surrounding you like loving arms. At least that is my experience. Know that you are not alone - we all share your loss, as you share ours.
No comments yet!
Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
"Ron, I am truly sorry for your loss. Nobody can ever replace our moms. She will live on in your heart and mind always. It is a real hard & devastating thing to go through. I am forever changed. I pray for you to find peace. Losing my parents has…"
"I am really struggling with my personal relationship with my fiancé after losing my brother and mom. I lost my brother a year ago in June and then my mom this March. Losing my brother brought me to my knees. Losing my mother took what little…"
I slept fine until 2am. Just cant get back to sleep now and almost panicking now because I so desperately need rest. The workload that I have now is so overwhelming at the most difficult time of my life. I now have 3 times the responsibility at work due to 2 people who have been laid off in no position to say I cant do it. I need this job because of my financial commitments. I am so bewildered and lost without my partner. He healed me emotionally and though I still struggled with shingles from…See More
My birthday is coming up, in just a few days. Every time I think about it, it gives me an overwhelming feeling of sadness.My sister at the age of 35 found out she had uterine cancer in March 2013. She went in for a check up because she wanted to have another child. She had my nephew 5 years ago and he had just finished kindergarten. When she was diagnosed, they had staged her at late 3c early 4. My sister went in for surgery right away to remove her entire uterus. Her cancer had apparently…See More
So, I am a new member to a site I had never dreamed I'd want to be a part of. And quite frankly, in this very moment I still do not wish to be a part of this community. Yet, here I am. I am only one of countless people shuffling through their day, overcome by grief and heartache.My story starts when my older brother, Craig, retired from the Marine Corps in 2011. He had put in a full twenty years and was looking forward to the start of his next chapter: civilian life. Where, as he told me…See More
"just lost the most important person in my life, the only person who has ever and ever will love me unconditionally..I lost my mom this past Tuesday July 22. I feel like part of me died with her..Over the past few days, i've caught myself…"