"Shane...My heart feels your pain, the same pain that I feel over the loss of my beautiful partner, Brad, who was only 35 years old. You and Christian should have had many wonderful years together and now you are suffering this traumatic loss at such…"
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved partner. The way his family has treated you is beyond ugly. What disrespect they show to you the person he loved. A lot of us have experienced the same garbage with our own families. Shane...I…"
My partner fell off a four story building. He was taking photographs of one of our friends on her roof. We have been on her roof over a hundred times. He was taking some photos and stepped backwards and lost his balance and fell. There isn't a railing on the roof because it wasn't designed for people to be up there. He landed on a cement patio below.
I wasn't there. I found out that it took over 30 minutes for an ambulance to get there and when they finally arrived they didn't even run over to him. They asked my friend if she had his ID's. My friend yelled at them to help him. So eventually they took him to the ER.
When I got to the emergency room no one would tell me what was happening. Eventually a nurse told me that they had everyone working on him. After an hour a doctor came in and told me they couldn't save him.
A few hours after he passed it brought us to Sunday, which was Mother's day. There were so many things that happened while his mother was her....but in a nutshell she didn't do one that my partner would've wanted and she was only concerned about bank accounts and life insurance policies. While my family stayed in hotels and had to rent cars, his mom forced herself into my home. She tried to take everything and eventually she went to a hotel and I never heard from her again. I flew to Chicago to go to the funeral because she was having his body flown so he could be buried back home (Which he no longer considered his home) and I got a phone call from my partner's aunt telling me that his parents will physically hurt me if I try to show up to the funeral. I wasn't able to attend his funeral. I didn't get to see the burial.
There were so many other things that took place but the most important thing is I lost the love of my life, the one person who truly got me. We lived together and worked together. We literally spent almost 24 hours a day together for over seven years. I can't do one thing without it being a part of my life I shared with him. I run our company alone now and for the most part I still don't feel like he is gone. I mean I know he's no longer here but it feels like I can just call him or text him.
It's hard to relate to anyone. Most people don't know what to say and they give advice when they don't know what the hell they are talking about. I mean I didn't get to say goodbye and I don't want to say losing a mother to cancer is not as bad as a tragic death for a young person because you had time to say goodbye.
All I know is I hope to see him again someday...and the idea of not seeing him again makes me question life. What's the point of life? Why does stuff like this have to happen?
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Shane...My heart feels your pain, the same pain that I feel over the loss of my beautiful partner, Brad, who was only 35 years old. You and Christian should have had many wonderful years together and now you are suffering this traumatic loss at such a young age. But your youth is a benefit - you will move on with your life when you're ready. I'm not so sure about myself. I am not a religious person, but I do believe that God = love = energy and energy can't be destroyed. That energy (soul if you will) exists outside the body (contrary to Christian beliefs) and so the attachment we have to the other people in our lives is never lost. I feel Brad's energy around me all the time and I often connect most strongly with it in my dreams. A friend of mine created a small, Buddhist-like shrine on the lanai where Brad lost his life in our pool. Just a bouquet of flowers, a candle, and a few personal items that had meaning for the two of us. I can't tell you how much peace that shrine brought to me those first few days after his death. The shrine is gone now, but I still feel his presence whenever I go out to the lanai. I am gearing myself up for a memorial service on 9/17, when our friends will get together and tell Brad stories and talk about the influence he had on our lives. Then we'll float his ashes out to sea in a rice paper "boat." It might help if you and your friends have a similar service and though you won't have his ashes, perhaps a nice picture of him (you have so many) would be a substitute. I think that all of these little memorials are very helpful in the grieving process. But the most important thing to remember is that it's only his physical body that is separated from you. If you calmly reflect on all the wonderful moments you two shared, I think you'll feel his presence surrounding you like loving arms. At least that is my experience. Know that you are not alone - we all share your loss, as you share ours.
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"big c is so not fair evry funrall iv bean 2 says famly flowrs only donte 2 big c or lung c i no money coz of a loss is mush betr dontatd 2 big c thn flowrs its so sdad so sad we hav 2 loss evry 1 coz of it"
"I have always appreciated Britain's National Health Service funded via direct taxation and founded via a Labour Government in 1945-48, /Democratic Government in the USA. No bills, no financial worries whatsoever."
"Kathleen...I can relate to your post .Bills still must be paid after we lose our spouse... If they don't get paid, everything gets repossed or shut off. Can you not sign up on Social Security for help. Most every one I know who have been left…"
"I live in the US too. I don't know what I'm going to do when the bills all start coming in. We are not wealthy or even comfortable...we are not even making it really...it's pathetic. I will have to file bankruptcy. I'm an office…"
I really like birds and have several bird feeders on the deck. One of my favorite birds is the Yellow-headed Blackbird. I haven't seen one in our area in over six years. It is a bird that I'm always looking to find. So, I told Cherie if she was ok to send me a Yellow-headed Blackbird. I was on way to an appointment this morning when a Yellow-headed Blackbird flew right in front of the car. I almost drove off the road. I'll take this as a sign from Cherie.See More
"Michael, Thanks for the information. We did not have British National Health here in America. We had private insurance when he passed. Sorry , never thought about the different Countries that post on here."
"Hi Debbie, I lost my husband 3 years ago this past March - and my wold collapsed. I got so tired of hearing things will get better, time heals, etc. somewhat like you I withdrew from family and friends for the most part. Time doesn't heal but…"
"If they found a cure for Cancers...look how may people will go broke. Doctors (specialists)..drug manufactures, drug stores, nurses, office staffs, and etc. Therefore they keep asking for money to help find the cure. Vicious game…"
"I agree Heath. (I have a son by that name) No matter how many marathons or other awareness events for cancer...seems like they could have at the very least gotten better at diagnosing cancer when its RIGHT THERE! So many times I've heard…"
"People say malpractice suits are out of control. I've not known anyone who has ever even sued. We want to spend time with our loved ones who are approaching the veil. Doctors, insurance, and big pharma are in it for profit.…"
"I know how you feel. I always expect Cherie to be home when I get home. Her empty chair is always such a stark reminder that she is gone. I'm sending you a big hug. I wish all the people here could get together but we would probably cause a…"