I am a teacher of 18 years. I'm married without children, and have a great affection for animals. I've been very blessed to live my life with my immediate family and extended family intact until the last two years.
About my Loss:
This specific loss is my brother 3 years my junior. We lost him on November 25 to a long battle with hepatitis C. He was fortunate enough to receive a liver transplant six years into the disease. However, his body was not able to eradicate the virus (he was a nonresponder to treatment)and our family watched this disease slowly eat away at him until the end.
Now, three months later, 3/7/2013, my mother gets killed in a car wreck 1/4 mile from her house. I can't even believe it. This is throwing me into a tailspin. Everybody's kind words are so helpful, I have found. A small thing, but a huge thing to me.
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Yes, sometimes I marvel at how I am able to just get through the day let alone the really hard days like holidays and birthdays, etc. Thinking back I am still not sure how I have made it this far.
When they told me that my mother was gone, I remember screaming and collapsing and being caught by my husband before I hit the ground. I then remember just whispering the word "no" for days afterwards. But somehow I was able to get up each day, make food for my family, feed myself, write a eulogy that I said at her funeral. It's honestly sometimes like I don't know how I go on, but I do. I guess that's the main point though right? We keep getting through it somehow, like you said.
Thank you for your kind words last Friday. Somehow, my family and I made it through this past weekend. We honoured her in our own ways but we also hid as a family. Everywhere you looked or went there was mother's day stuff going on - so we simply stayed in.
The few times we did go out, it seemed that each of us had a negative experience. My own being that I had perfect stranger, very kindly come up and wish me a "Happy Soon-to-be-a-Mother Mother's Day". I thanked them and then got quickly ushered out of the store by my husband as I was on the verge of crying.
I hope you survived the weekend in any way you could.
I am deeply sad to read about the tragic accident that took your wonderful Mom. Your brother....so sad. You will find so much support here on this site. I have experienced my own hell here on earth. I have learned to take 1 hour at a time. Nothing more. I try to be the best person I can be in honor of my Mom. She was all I had in the world. I look forward to joining her and my other loved ones in heaven. I am an animal lover too. I have a great Golden Retriever and 5 rescued cats. Your mom is with your brother. He must have needed her so God let her go and be with him. Your loss is gigantic my friend. One hour at a time. Your friend Sue
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Patti is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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