Sandra Nichols
  • Broken Arrow, OK
  • United States
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Latest Activity

Virginia G left a comment for Sandra Nichols
"Are you still a member?"
Jul 9, 2018
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy, we are so alike. I just want peace also. You WILL remember your mom and good memories. It will come to you. My mom went downhill for about 3 years and the last year was very very traumatic between nursing homes and homes that would not take…"
Jul 16, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Wendy, It has been 1 1/2 years since mom died and some days I can hardly get out of bed the sadness is so intense. We also were hopgin and thought mom would make it through the cancer therapy she was one week from coming home and up and walking…"
Jul 12, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Nancy, Yes, the dynamics in a family change so much with death. My sister and I fought about the most stupid things but, thankfully we have learned to work together and are closer now. Please dont fret about your siblings. Death has not…"
Jul 10, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Maddy, give yourself permission to cry. It is perfectly ok. AFter 1 1/2 years from my mom's death now and I got so sad today I barely made it to work with tears streaming down my face I could hardly move. I am so very sad but the…"
Jul 9, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sheila B, we have had so much of the same feelings. My mom was very frustrated and scared and alone at the end. She would not share any of that with me. What really tore me up was she turned form her religious she had always always been very…"
Jul 8, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I"m glad it helps some people here, to talk about work. People at work, can be understanding about this mourning situation. I told my manager I was in a very fragile state but, working would be good therapy for me if I could just be…"
Jul 3, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi all. It has been about 1 1/2 years since my mom has died. Some days I can go on automatic. Other days I get so very depressed and sad that I can't move. It is definately up and down... That is normal for everyone i think. I jsut about…"
Jul 2, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I can see moving away from some people because of this  unbearable loss we are all experiencing. I am changing and i'll bet many of you are feeling the same thing happening. I will never be as I was and so my priorities and…"
Jun 25, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I trulyl believe that people are all in different places in their lives and just about everyone means well when they talk to us in the midst of our deep grieving. but still, i am staying around people that truly understand. i am just too…"
Jun 24, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I forgot to add one other thing. I feel like all of you are "my People" and everyone else in the world is just on another level somewhere else. Just as i feel like the cancer patients and their family members that would come in…"
Jun 24, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It has been 1 1/2 years since my mom has died. Sometimes I feel so very very sad that I can't function. I think of her little bald head from the damn chemo and it makes me upset. I am tearing up just writing that. Then other times I can laugh…"
Jun 24, 2013
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well, actually I;m reading the comments and it seems like a lot of you are having a harder time with teh second christmas than the first one. I'm angry at myself for feeling like i dont want to go on. Im impatient at my sister for blocking out…"
Dec 25, 2012
Sandra Nichols commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's been about 1 year and one month since mom has died. I feel worse now than I did last Christmas. Actually i feel like the first year i was in denial and shock. Now I cry more than I did before. I wonder if anyone else if like this. I really…"
Dec 25, 2012
David H left a comment for Sandra Nichols
"hi sandra thanks for picking me as a friend   Dave"
Jul 24, 2012
David H and Sandra Nichols are now friends
Jul 24, 2012

Profile Information

About Me:
I need support form recent loss of my mom. My best friend. She lived with me for 8 years and then died from complications of cancer treatment. I feel lost and go between numbness to total grief that I can't stand.
About my Loss:
My mother passed one week before Thankssgiving this year. I am in shock, denial, and grief. I am not coping with my job well. I get angry at coworkers that ask me if I am having a good holiday. How can people ask that?
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
no

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Sandra Nichols's Blog

Crying

It is Monday morning and I am at work in my cubicle. Crying and can't stop. Finally, my sister has started crying after about 8 months from losing mom. It made me start crying because she is the one person left on this earth that I love unconditionally. It is all so sad. This life is so depressing. WHy in the world are we here? To go through grief that makes us so depressed that we can't function?  Life is just so sad and depressing, I can't think of anything good about it. I am not sucidal…

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Posted on July 23, 2012 at 9:30am

Will this emptiness and depression lift from my life?

This has been such a lonely weekend for me. My mom has been gone now 7 months. I"m so sad and the deep depression does not get any better. I try to stay busy but, that doesn't help for 24 hours a day. I"m crying right now and I still feel angry at the cancer institute for the chemotherapy on my mom. I think that doctors don't worry about elderlyl and just give them the treatments without thinking of how fragile they are. I honestly don't know at this point,  how this world can become a good…

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Posted on July 1, 2012 at 5:40pm — 7 Comments

8:30 am monday

I had a panic attack and couldn't sleep Sunday night. I should have taken something to sleep but, didn't know it would keep on. I"m so sad today that I can't cry. Sunday was hard. I laid in bed and slept.

As bad as this is, I still don't think I"m facing the reality of you being gone, mom. I so wish you could communicate with me. 

Love,

Sandra

 

Posted on June 25, 2012 at 8:37am

2:30 pm friday

Hi again mom,

I"m sitting here thinking about the weekend and torn between being glad I can be away from people and worried that I will have a panic attack while I stay in our house all alone.

I"m still praying that you are in a wonderful place, a place you deserve.

I"m still angry at the cancer doctors and think they should have made your treatments a lot less severe. Someday, I may forgive them, but right now I feel lots of anger.

I"m also angry at life in…

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Posted on June 22, 2012 at 2:23pm — 2 Comments

Comment Wall (9 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

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At 2:44pm on July 9, 2018, Virginia G said…

Are you still a member?

At 5:50pm on July 24, 2012, David H said…

hi sandra

thanks for picking me as a friend

 

Dave

At 5:01pm on June 20, 2012, Mark said…

Sandra,  first of all I want to say I'm so sorry for your loss.  Second i want to say thank you so much for what you suggested.  The part about taking time each day to celebrate my mom.  I'm going to start doing that.  I know she'd want me to move fwd with my life and never consider giving up.

At 2:28pm on April 19, 2012, Storyas Fawnfeather said…

Hi Sandra.  Thank you for inviting me as a friend.  I hope you are feeling ok today.  I don't even want to say good, because I doubt any of us feel good.  But, I hope you feel ok.  Do you have a pet?  I got a dog after my dad died.  Actually, i think my dad sent me the dog due to after death experiences i had (have you seen that part of this website yet?), but I'll tell you that story later.  I just got home and I'm too tired to tell it now.  But, I have a dog.  This morning I took my dog to the office with me.  On the way, I ran out of gas cuz I'm so out of it lately I forget little things like that.  Well, Elbert - my dog who is named after my dad; my dad's name was Estil Elbert - was in the car with me.  While I waited for AAA, he climbed up on me and just put his face in mine and we rubbed our foreheads together, and it made me feel a little less depressed and made me feel connected to something (I rarely feel connected any more).  It was like he can sense how bad I feel, and he was trying to get through.  It helped a little. 

At 4:19pm on January 11, 2012, Bob Naples said…

Yes,there is a place where the spirit goes immediately upon passing over.If you would like to know more details,please go to the website of Victor Zammitt.He has a free e-book which goes into tremendous detail of the afterlife experience,and I'll think this will really help to give you comfort!!Be prepared,because what you are about to read may be the TOTAL opposite of what you've been taught to believe!:)

Keep me posted!

At 12:34pm on January 11, 2012, Bob Naples said…

All three of my kids were with me when I had my nde.It was my oldest son,Chris,who called 911,and if I had been alone,I would have died.After spending several years in a haunted house,I have never had any doubts about the afterlife.However,I did have doubts about where we would spend eternity.Thanks to the nde,I have no fear death,and I'm looking forward to the homecoming party that awaits all of us at the end of this long journey!

At 3:14pm on January 10, 2012, Bob Naples said…

Sandra,

The evening before my near-death experience,I saw my mom materialize about 12-15ft. in front me.It was 7 years after she passed over to the next life.The whole visitation lasted about 45 minutes,and I can't recall what we talked about off the top of my head,but I do have it documented word for word.My mom was mom,dad,friend,etc.all in one,and I once told her that I didn't know what i was going to do when she passed.She said if there is any way that she could call me home with her,she would try.The last memory of my visitation was mom motioning with her hands,calling me towards her.The very next day,I had my nde,and as I was going into the light,I could hear my 8 r. old daughter screaming for me not to go!!This broke my heart,and I asked for more time,and the next thing ii remember is waking up in the e.r...

At 3:23pm on December 28, 2011, Lisa Gladieux said…
I was so there with my mom and held her hand as well! While it was sad losing my mom, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. 
At 11:51pm on December 20, 2011, MIchael A Ballard said…

Hello Sandra,

Very sorry for your loss, and we all are here for you.

Through my experience, this is the best place for support and friends.

Loss is terrible and we all know how you feel.

Hope to chat on here with you soon!

Peace and prayers,

Michael
 

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
1 hour ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
3 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
4 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
4 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
4 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
9 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
18 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
yesterday
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted photos
yesterday
mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"I guess I'm doing ok I was in the middle of a family fued Christmas day night so I been keeping to myself I check out that site but don't have the money to pay for it I'm disabled"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
Friday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
Friday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well, Brett, one day we all shall see, I have many many questions, but no one to answer them. My heart still aches everyday, I still cry, but no one understands why, they have no clue...."
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Friday
Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
Thursday
Margaret Whitehouse joined mary snell's group
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hi

hi I recantly lost my mom two weeks ago I'm still missing her and I wish that i could of said good bye to her before said passed away See More
Thursday
Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
Wednesday

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