Roy Edward Hunt
  • Male
  • Saint Petersburg, FL
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm a 68 year-old man living in Saint Petersburg, Florida.
About my Loss:
For the second time in my life, a younger partner has succombed before me. I was with Javier for 16 years, he was 20 years younger, and died a few years ago at the young age of 42. I was with Brad, who was 33 years younger, for just two years and I lost him last Saturday night; he was just 35. We had come home from visiting friends and I was tired and went right to bed. Brad said he wanted to take a dip in the pool, but he'd be in shortly. I woke up 2 hours later, the light was on but Brad was not in bed. I had a terrible sense of foreboding, went out to the lanai, and found him face down at the bottom of our pool. I pulled him out, called 911, and tried to resuscitate him, but he was too far gone. I don't think I'll ever be able to get that image out of my mind, him lying at the bottom of the pool. He had started taking some prescription drugs for anxiety and another muscle relaxer (he had fallen off a roof a few years ago and suffered occasionally from cramping) that he hadn't taken for quite awhile. He only had one glass of wine, so we really don't know what happened. The autopsy listed the death as undetermined and it will take 90 days before we get the toxicology report. I keep beating myself up, thinking there must be something I could have done to prevent this tragedy, but everyone assures me that I need to stop this. I had to get out of the house so traveled north to visit my mother, I don't feel now like I'll ever be able to return. I have never experienced pain like this - I think it's due to the nature of his death and my discovery of it. All I know is that he loved me and I loved him very much, and I don't think I'll ever fully recover from this. I think I'll need to seek out a good grief counselor when I return to Florida, but thought I'd sign onto this site just to be able to communicate with others who may be suffering similar losses. I don't seem to be able to focus on anything else. Tags:

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Groups

Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
5 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
13 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
17 hours ago
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
23 hours ago
Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
yesterday
Kelly Lieberman posted photos
yesterday
mindy replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"I guess I'm doing ok I was in the middle of a family fued Christmas day night so I been keeping to myself I check out that site but don't have the money to pay for it I'm disabled"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well, Brett, one day we all shall see, I have many many questions, but no one to answer them. My heart still aches everyday, I still cry, but no one understands why, they have no clue...."
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
Friday
Margaret Whitehouse commented on mary snell's group hi
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
Thursday
Margaret Whitehouse joined mary snell's group
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hi

hi I recantly lost my mom two weeks ago I'm still missing her and I wish that i could of said good bye to her before said passed away See More
Thursday
Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
Wednesday
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i am…See More
Wednesday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lost
"Dear Lost, I've never been one who felt that money or job is most important either. There are so many things more important in life. One of those though is family. I would be lonely also if my family looked down on me and didn't talk to…"
Wednesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks M adams and Brett. Will wait for that time when I get over the guilt.  Starting my day with positive today. "
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I agree with M. I'm not one to give advice because I have not conquered those guilty feelings either. I have a feeling, and that is all I can go by, that one day we will grow tired of beating ourselves up, and that's when we will take…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, so good to hear that you can feel celebratory.  Engaging in life is important, it is something every parent wants for their child.  At the same time, I think in bereavement it’s hard to handle celebratory occasions because our…"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Just returned from a small trip in India only. Whenever I celebrate, I feel guilty. "
Tuesday

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